Saturday, August 31, 2013

Women and insecurity

Why are women so insecure? Why do they feel threatened by a beautiful woman? They don't feel threatened by a smarter woman...Why so?



I am forced to believe, it's coz of the men out there. The attraction between men and women is the reason so many things exist (you, me and the millions of products sold across countries from boob enhancers to lingerie to makeup). Almost all the products sold are either for men to attract women or for women to attract men :-)

So, this attraction is a big thing for many people. They emulate their favourite heroes or heroines, dress up, put on an accent, wear makeup, sing songs and do a lot of things just to attract the opposite sex. Nothing wrong in it. Survival and procreation and extremely hard wired into our genes. The reason a peacock dances, is to woo the female.. all the birds with lovely voices are singing love songs to woo their ladies. So, this attraction exists in all species. No debate about that.

Let's come back to women... Many men say women are jealous. They mock at women. Women mock at themselves. Why do we feel jealous of a beautiful woman? It's most probably because we are afraid that our partner will leave us for her. (I'm not counting myself there as I have never tried to woo someone or be jealous of other girls, lucky me). Men are attracted to feminine beauty. A shapely woman or a beautiful woman is more likely to attract a man than a bespectacled, tangled haired geek. Men are frivolous too. When married men cheat on their wives, the boyfriend has even more excuses. This leads to insecurity. We have to guard our man. We can never be sure if he will leave us for someone else. I have seen so many girls outraged because their boyfriend dumped them for a more beautiful one. They failed to see their beauty and character. Some less fortunate ones could not even make the man of their choice sit up and notice them in the first place. They were not in the list at all. It hurts.. it hurts badly... especially since it's a serious issue for the woman. She is in love with a nice guy and wants him but he just fails to notice her because of this beauty fixation.

Then why is it that men are not insecure? Easy... Women, so far, are attracted to well-read, steady and caring and sensitive men. They choose their men with care. They are not frivolous (mostly). It would be very very hard for her to dump you for a more handsome guy. These things happen nowadays but it's not the norm. So, a guy feels less threatened. If he's financially secure, he doesn't have to worry.

Imagine the kind of pressure this insecurity puts on women! They spend a fortune trying to look beautiful. Most women I know dedicate their entire lives to choosing colorful clothes, wearing them, choosing makeup, wearing makeup, visiting parlours (I too go for my pedicure and hair color), buying shoes, buying handbags, buying ear rings and accessories, buying scarves, buying perfumes, watches, gold and diamond jewellery, watching fashion trends, obsessing about their diet and weight and so on. They redo their makeup a thousand times and are constantly glued to the mirror. They even put makeup while driving! Imagine how many hours of hard work that is! It's important to look good and presentable. But, is the amount of time spent (unknowingly or knowingly) to woo the opposite sex, justified? How will you pick up new skills?
If you love clothes or makeup without the need to look attractive to guys, go ahead. But if you're obsessing over it just for the guys.. forget it. Move on.

A lot of women do just this - atleast in their early stages. Later on family and motherhood and career put so much pressure that they are forced to change.

If we didn't care for the men so much, would we obsess about looks? Would we rather do something else like read a book?

What would happen to men when women change their choice of men and start liking only handsome men and men with great bods? Will they also become insecure and fret and fume? I'd like to see that happen.


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