Saturday, December 21, 2013

HD makeup and more!

Since I have been spending insane amount of time browsing about makeup, I need to bookmark this site. This site was quite an eye opener for me.

Williams has given so many tips, which any of us, facing any skin problem, can use.
Some of the best are:

Best beauty tips for healthy, youthful skin 

http://williamspromakeup.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/skincare-and-beauty-tips-any-woman-over.html

How to make pores disappear: the secret to flawless skin revealed! 

http://williamspromakeup.blogspot.in/2013/06/how-to-make-pores-disappear-secret-to.html

What is HD Makeup? Creating perfect skin for studio, film and television 

http://williamspromakeup.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/what-is-hd-makeup-creating-perfect-skin.html

I was wowed by the site and the amount of details given!
Hope I can pick a tip or two to improve my skin.
Anyway, the nature cure diet has definitely worked wonders for my skin. With the 5 Kgs weight loss, and all natural - no maida food..my skin definitely seems better. Never looked this way in ages!

 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The MAC kolam

For a year or two, ever since Radhika's marriage got fixed, I have been wanting to check out MAC. Every beauty magazine or online makeup blog raves about MAC products. My initial tryst with MAC was disastrous. Their prep+prime broke my skin. It was too harsh for me.

Despite that, I had a craze for MAC products. So, after a long wait and a lot of introspection, I booked an appointment for the makeup class. I had to wait 30 minutes and in between the session too the lady had to attend to customers walking in. That apart we spent 3 hrs almost, doing my face.

First she cleansed the face and applied the MAC moisturizer. At Rs 2100 it was quite pricey but it felt light and luxurious. In terms of texture I haven't tried anything like it (I am not yet into Estee Lauder, Chanel or Dior - so I am not used to luxury products).
Then she applied Matchmaster 6.0 foundation with a brush. She did one side and I did one. She said I did it like a pro, but I was surprised. Then she applied a concealer on all my dark spots. We just dabbed and lightly brushed the concealer on those spots. Then we blended a little bit of foundation again on those areas. This took a long time - the foundation, concealer and then loose poweder + compact. And.. the face did look cakey and there were issues along the expression lines and the dark areas of my skin around the lips and cheeks look even horribly dark. I was disappointed with it, but I had not expected anything more, so I took it easy.

Then she did the eyes. We chose a pre packed palette. She applied a paint pot as a primer. Then we did the eyes in 2 ways. One was too dramatic and one like a day wear. There were 3-4 shades used...one for the whole eye, one for the brow line, one along the out V to dramatize.. Then she put kohl on the upper/ lower eye line and on the tips of the upper eye lid. She smudged it using a dark eye shade. This alone made the eyes look terrific. I loved what the kohl + dark eye shadow smudge did to my eyes. This is something I decided to master.

Then she filled my eye brows with a brow pencil. Since I have a scanty brow, it looked dramatically made up. Still, we could tone it down to give my brows a decent look compared to the way it is now.

Then she applied the peach blush on my cheeks starting near the ears and moving down and in, towards the cheek. It was so light, I guess I could use it sometimes. Then she used a dark studio fix powder just under the blush area - from outer ears to cheeks to contour the face and make it thin. I could see some difference but couldn't make much of this step.

Then we filled the lips fully with a plum liner and applied one of the lipsticks given on the palette. It did look subtle.

Then she drew everything out for me, which was such a time consuming task. The pic is attached here. The total worth of products she used on me would easily cross 30K!

For once, I behaved smart and shortlisted the products that I really liked and ones which I was likely to use more. Mostly the eye products I was planning to use. Even then, the eye brow pencil, kohl, eye shadow brush, etc was so expensive, I decided to drop them for cheaper brands. These products most good brands make decently well. So, I ditched these.

I bought the palette in brown by Rebecca Moses, a paintpot and an extra eye shadow and that set me back by 6500 (the cost of the course was 6000 so I was happy that I kept my purchases close to it).

Lessons learnt:
1) I don't know if foundations suit Indian skin. It makes us look cakey, made up and clear skin definitely looks much better than make up. That said, I want to talk to the lady and see if she can call me at a time when she makes up someone else, so I can see the effect of all these products on a better skin than mine. As for me, I look better off without all these foundation, concealer drama.
I definitely want to see how celebrities are made up. They look so natural in the magazine covers, I wonder how they achieve it.

2) Eyes are something which you can do a little or more and change your looks with. Most Indian women can do eye makeup to look dramatic.

3) MAC is expensive. Their eye shadow brush is Rs 1700! So, it's very important to choose specific products and find cheaper options for others. As far as I see only the eye shadows of MAC are famous. I don't think high of their foundation, etc. The moisturizer definitely is great but worth 2100? Donno. Even the lip shades - I was not too wow...









Friday, December 13, 2013

Mid life career crisis.. comeback issues .... post retirement plans.

I am at this strange crossroad of what to do next. It's not a good space to be in. I don't think many people in the software profession enter this crossroad. It's a relatively safe, well paying field.
But, what if that is not your passion?

I was just thinking of some people who had "retired" early. Let's take Jyothika. She was a top actress when she quit. What does she do now? Does she not feel that itch to get back to work?
We're very unpardoning with married heroines, aren't we? I see so many heroines from Sridevi to Madhuri to Karisma trying to make a decent comeback and somehow they have not been very successful. Sri to some extent has been lucky. English Vinglish did do well. So, she's in a relatively better space than the other two. I can see Simran doing some wasteful TV roles like Khushboo now.
It's not a matter of pride but it's probably financial constraints that drives these people to do TV. No comments about that. Who are we to judge. We don't know how tough their life is, do we? They have a lifestyle to adhere to. I wonder if they feel their pride and ego hurt when they have to do things which they don't truly admire, but have to do it for financial reasons.

I was just watching SRK's interview and noticed how old he looked. He's still a top hero. Whereas a heroine really has "limited shelf life". What if she is passionate about acting even if her face doesn't look young? What is she supposed to do? I can see a very small handful like Deepti Naval or Shabana doing some meaningful movies once in a while. All other yester years have vanished. In this cut throat world, they have to agree to do item numbers, etc in the hope of being noticed and being offered better roles. Heroes never age but we've set strict bars for the heroine. What double standards? Nowhere is this difference in attitude more apparent than in the film industry. I really pity the women. I really wonder what they do after a break in their career. It's an unfair world out there.

So, while I wonder about my own future, here's my heartfelt sympathies for all these women out there..struggling...waging wars each day.. being rejected for stupid reasons...May life be easy on them.


Thursday, December 12, 2013

Social conditioning, plastic surgery and borrowed desires

Call it stereotypes or social conditioning, it's a nagging thing. Something that confuses you eternally.
These conditionings rid you of true moments.. true joy and take you far away from the quest for truth and pretty far away from who you actually are and what you COULD have become, had you followed your heart. We follow the herd in fear of being left out or disapproved and lead a hectic but seemingly meaningless life. Every gender, every caste and everything has a certain stereotype. eg: If you're a tambrahm, you're supposed to have a good degree and probably you're a doctor or an engineer. Else, when your parents meet their relatives at functions, they have to hang their heads in shame. I wonder... does it make any difference - me being the 1 millionth TamBrahm software engineer or being the first idli shop owner?

Of late, I have this huge urge to get back to work. I want to land up in a good place..have a certain standing in the society...be at a respectable place. I feel that being educated, I should work for my daily needs. I cannot accept myself being a homemaker, not that it's an easy task. It's more difficult than working for someone, in the sense that there is no time limit for a home maker - plus she does not get paid - plus the society definitely doesn't value her as much as a working woman. People may say they want non-working wives, but they seem to value working woman.
I joined engineering without really knowing what it was. It could get me to a certain distance. At many times I felt that I was not passionate about it. Now, at this age, I have to do some soul searching. The past 2 years I have been trying to see what is it that I'd like to do. What is that job for which I'll wake up every morning with passion? It's stressful, believe me. Having to start over afresh in your mid 30s - is a challenge. I am going to take it up. I know that the path is fraught with obstacles and it seems that a large depressing phase looms right up. But, I want to work to enhance my own self worth and feel confident about myself. The identification we have with our jobs is a faulted idea to begin with but I am unable to break out of it. It should be perfectly ok for someone to choose not to work, if one has the luxury, but I, cannot fall into that. I am not able to accept myself as a non working woman. That itself is a huge flaw. This is one stereotype that I need to break out of. It has destroyed many nights sleep.

Two: Women need to look beautiful. They need to dress up and look appealing to the men folk.

I think these two stereotypes play a lot on me. My life was pretty good, till folks at my previous company so unknowingly thrust the "beautiful women are appreciated more" - stereotype on me. The kind of comments guys pass should make you puke. I clearly remember these folks commenting on a little fat lady wearing a saree. I was so affected by the comment that I was really wondering, if I choose to wear a saree I should be prepared to face such comments. Also, there was another really thin woman, whom they called "peeche se Aishwarya, aage se dracula". She was not great to look at, it seems. And to top it all, the characters making these comments, are not even average joes. What gives them the right to pass such comments? I guess it's ok for women to start commenting on men and make them feel odd like they make women feel. Only then they will understand the pain. I see so many useless fellows passing so many comments on women on the road, etc. You should see their faces. Luckily I have not observed men so much or cared for men at all. If I had started these worries in my teens by now I'd have had a heart attack.

This trend of evaluating women for looks is really disturbing. I think all this seeped pretty deeply into me. It was a nightmare going to work, knowing that someone is judging you all the time. Ignorance was bliss, in this matter. Also, one should not care about what others say. Everyone will have something to say, some nice, some hurtful. As humans we do tend to value such things but when as a society we are so ill mannered and judgmental and immature, it doesn't make sense to take any of the comments seriously. But, I was at a wrong phase when I was with these people. I took these things seriously. Whatever they said about others I applied it on myself too. It has affected me so much, so unknowingly that now it's a menace. I really started suffering from low self-esteem because of this. I don't know when and how I can come out of that. I was doing pretty good till I knew these little facts about men and women and the whole wooing game.

A lot of the things we do, are unconsciously to meet certain societal needs and stereotypes. Even a thinking, rational person does not know when a stereotype is playing on him and consuming him. Society feeds guilt, fear and greed in various avatars.

This mind that I have - is purely acquired through schooling and social conditioning. I have been living in a certain society amidst certain kinds of people who talk about certain things, who read certain books and see certain movies. I am a by-product of these. I am a composition of parts of others. Whatever I have acquired is through these things and now through the internet. My friends share articles, I read them. Some articles seep in and become me. So, this mind - made up of likes and dislikes, right and wrong, do's and don'ts, the right job, the right education, the right husband, the right status.. all are driven by others. Those others are in turn driven by many others. We're all just touching and influencing others all the time, don't we? Our colleague goes to a movie and recommends it, we go and watch. Our colleague plays footfall and we also want to join. Unknowingly we desire what others desire. We desire the things showed on TV/ magazines. These happen subconsciously. Most of our desires are what are called borrowed desires. We borrow them from friends, relatives and colleagues. We really don’t need them. Many of my relatives are in good position in the society and some of them are very well qualified. Many of my friends are in US in good jobs and have financial security. Sometimes these things do play on me. Why am I not like that? Why don't I work like that and earn money and lead such a life? I know that I am cut out differently but I still have this nagging feeling. The safest path concept does hound you often, till you become so self confident to chuck it out of the window.

A wonderful article on mind and how society cultivates guilt at:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/sadhguru/masters-words/become-a-buddha/
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/yoga-meditation/demystifying-yoga/yoga-and-the-mind/
AND
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/drishtikone/2012/09/guilt-is-socially-cultivated-emotion-a-poison-directed-towards-yourself/


When we were children we used to admire people owning cars. We desired cars and our own house. When people wore costly clothes we felt that was the right thing. We saw people in movies.. rich people, well educated people and we thought that is how we should become. Without even knowing what is good and bad and what is right and wrong we aspired for some things. Even today most of the world is run that way. We really have a herd mentality. We all run for the next money spinning job. We aspire to be rich. We aspire to be movie stars. There is so much glamour exuded in certain fields. We are drawn to these things unknowingly. This is one form of conditioning. During our days, top rankers were admired a lot, so most people aspired to become a ranker. Nowadays the most well dressed and hep person is admired a lot so I see a lot of college goers spending way too much time to look good and dress good. There is a certain peer pressure to conform. Most people want to just conform without thinking whether such a lifestyle is feasible for them or even required for them. It takes a lot of maturity to do such thinking and I won't blame these young people. You don't even realise that you're doing so much to confirm to the society.

I was recently looking at actors/actresses who had undergone plastic surgery. Earlier women needed to dance and act well and look good. I know some actresses who were were ordinary but were extra ordinary actors. Today, in an unfortunate cycle of things, because people started photoshopping pictures, we have very high expectations of people's looks. Many people with decent faces are driven to cosmetic surgeries. I don't know if these actors like it or not. But, yeah they look exquisite, thanks to tons of surgeries. It's good that atleast some of us know the reason behind their young looks - apart from diet, genes, etc. Given their odd shooting schedules and odd locations and smoking/ drinking - I wonder how they keep their skin so great. We mortals, who take so much care and work at ordinary hours and sleep well and eat well, don't seem to have those blessings.

A very thought provoking video about how the media makes women feel inadequate:
http://www.upworthy.com/5-minutes-of-what-the-media-actually-does-to-women-8 
Also, a very insightful article by Richa Chadda:
http://richachadda.blogspot.in/2012/04/maybe-we-are-change.html

As for actors, I think some people think it worthless to do such things and probably quit the field. Earlier I was upset with these cosmetic surgeries, but I think it's ok. All of us have this need to look good. Today it is such that any common man on the road wants to look like a hero. If he's not naturally endowed it's not wrong to use cosmetic surgery. Cinema is a visual medium and we are used to seeing pretty faces. You can see the stark contrast between the chiseled features of the leads versus the other cast. It's just a matter of money. How much surgeries you can afford, how many spa and ayurveda treatments you can do and how good a makeup man you can afford. Y'day I watched Ram Leela and noticed how they had taken care that the lead was so well made up and they were presented well, compared to the side roles of Richa Chadda, etc.

It's worrisome that many of us suffer for these things. Now, I am very conscious about the way I look. I was never this way. But there is this urge to dress well. I have got affected by this bug.There is only so much one can do when one has certain skin tones and skin texture. But if you obsess about looks, your whole life you can spend in a worthless manner (worthless according to me). I look at people around me. If you take statistics, I think 1 out of 10 women only look good. What about the 9? I see women in my gym, at the beauty parlour, on the road, my colleagues, people in buses.. everywhere. The 20s and teens of this generation do look great. But the rest of the people are just average joneses. What's wrong with that? If everyone of these women was intenally obsessing about why they are average, the world would soon be filled with worrisome thoughts. It's important to accept the way we look. However we look, if we groom a little and stay clean and dress well, we should feel confident.
We should know how far is ok. When I am surrounded by people who spend all their time dressing and posing for photos, you get affected unknowingly. Last few days I have spent an insane amount of time researching the right foundation, moisturizer, etc. All this, for a wedding in Jan. I know that the people attending the wedding would turn out like film stars and I would feel odd and left out. I do feel like an idiot for doing this. I know that I have given in to this pressure of looking good. It doesn't make me feel great or intelligent or even responsible.

I met this lady at a massage parlour. I don't think she has completed her matric.
I drool over Ileana's heavily photoshopped picture and she so maturely says "God knows what problems she has. You be happy for who you are". These are words of wisdom.  I am sure that the lady who uttered these, is an extremely self confident person. She has a mind of her own. She is sure of herself and her education or the lack of it has nothing to do with her self confidence. I wonder... where are all we women - urban, highly educated, employed at hi-fi companies, well dressed, spending a bomb on parlours and cosmetics, headed?

Like some great sage said, we are all collecting fantasies from TV, magazines, paper and ads. They create certain mental images and we start comparing ourself with these images, unknowingly. We try to attain the so-called perfect body or face. It's a never ending game, whose only fate is "unhappiness" and "depression". While we all fret and fume at how "ordinary" we look, the cosmetic companies will laugh their way to the bank.

Is there a way we can stop these malicious, unrealistic images staring at us? Can we war against such unrealistic expectations of beauty? How do you educate a girl, right from 4 to know what 'beauty' is and how only her confidence can save her?
I think a slow movement has to start, to free us women from such horror. I'm apalled that this inadequacy has affected even a person as laid back as me.

Such is the effect of social conditioning and ads on urban women and we all thought we were smart!
We should learn a lesson or two from the rural belles.







Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Stop chasing your thoughts

PARAMAHAMSA SRI NITHYANANDA - Stop chasing your Thoughts!! SOCIETY, in the form of political or religious institutions, controls you through fear and greed. These institutions believe that unless you are prodded by fear and greed, you cannot be effective, productive and valuable. But productive effective and valuable to whom? It is certainly not for any advantage to your own Self, but perhaps to the benefit of these institutions. Fear and greed make you seek the external world for fulfilment. You seek to act on your thoughts and words. These as you would have experienced throughout your life can never be fulfilled. The same fear, the same greed reappears, however many times you may have experienced them before. You are in rajas, the mode of aggression when you act on your thoughts. People question, how can I live without acting on my thoughts, who will pay my bills? Please understand. If nature provided within you a system that converts bread into blood, can it not take care of providing you with bread as well? Nature does not trust you with anything that is critical to your living. That is why all your essential activities such as breathing, growing, digesting, etc, happen without your involvement. I say to you, stop acting on your thoughts. Stop looking for their meaning. Instead seek the source of thoughts. For instance, if you feel hungry, ignore that thought. When your body feels that desperate hunger, it will by itself seek and procure the food to fulfil its needs. When you do this, when you stop acting on the meaning of words, you will fall into tamas, into inaction. That is what you are afraid of. There is nothing to fear. You will stay in that inaction till all your hatred against your restlessness and greed get worked out. Once that happens, you will come out of that inaction, that tamasic state, purified. Please understand that you do not move from tamas into rajas and then into satva as you may think. You do not, as you think, move in sequence from inaction to aggression and then to peace. You start with rajas, which is the state of your day-to-day activity, when you are in the mode of doership, seeking to fulfil the meaning of your thoughts and words. When you stop seeking meaning you will fall into inaction, tamas, for a brief period, till you start seeking the source of your thoughts and move into satva. You will feel the effect of inner healing, and you will understand that the universe does take care of you.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

More Tagore

http://gitabitan-en.blogspot.in/

Studies in Tagore: Santosh Chakrabarti
http://books.google.co.in/books/about/Studies_in_Tagore.html?id=MNWktZZciy8C&redir_esc=y

http://www.gitabitan.net/

http://www.dnaindia.com/analysis/column-where-the-words-are-held-higher-than-the-notes-they-ride-1909009

Tagore on the vision of upanishads

Rabindranath Tagore & the vision of Upanishads

from http://discovervedanta.wordpress.com/tag/tagore/
I found a few poems of Rabindranath Tagore in my notes. They express very beautifully the vision filled of wonder of the person who is awake to the presence of the Lord in his life, in nature and in himself.
These poems give us precious clues on how to integrate and assimilate the teaching of the Upanishads about Isvara, the Lord, in our lives. It is thus enabling us to be aware of the presence of a Being, to which I, the world and all human beings are fundamentally ‘connected’ to or in which all is ‘united’.
Because in reality, there is only one Being who is, and who is manifest as the multiple forms of the universe, and who is including me as an individual. All these forms are always changing within this all intelligence and power, and are never separated from Him at any time.
To understand this vision completely, what we have heard from the teaching has to percolate in the depth of ourselves, go much beyond a superficial understanding of the concepts of material-intelligent cause or manifest-unmanifest, maya, etc. The presence of Isvara can indeed become a reality, a fact we are alive to. There is no place for imagination here, nor a blind assent to a system of beliefs. But rather a slow personal work, a process of unveiling, a relation with Isvara which grows patiently and leads to a silent inner revolution, with appreciation of the  presence of His grace with us all along.
This particular type of poetry is a real bridge which enables us to see the presence of Isvara in everything and in our life, when it is allied with a proper teaching. More I think about it, more I believe that it is impossible to bypass Isvara if one wants to gain serenity, joy and ultimately freedom.
tagore
The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth
and of death, in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.
.’
Rabindranath Tagore

Two other poems belonging to the series of poems by Tagore. They express one of the essential themes of the Upanishads : the relation that we have with the world, with others. The first poem gives a striking image of the walls through which I close myself to what is around me. My subjectivity, fears, anxieties, arrogance, are indeed invisible but at the same time tangible walls that I erect between the universe and myself. May this narrow perspective of the world, which is only self-centered, disappear. The more objective I am to the presence of what is, the more clarity, transparency, openness I can enjoy.
How far should I go in this process of gaining objectivity? Should I disappear totally as an individual? Is it possible and even desirable? The poet replies in the second poem: ‘Let only that little be left of me, by which…’

Dungeon
He whom I enclose with my name is weeping in this dungeon.
I am ever busy building this wall all around;
and as thus wall goes up into the sky day by day,
I lose sight of my true being in its dark shadow.
I take pride in this great wall, and I plaster it with dust and sand
at least hole should be left in this name;
and for all the care I take I lose sight of my true being.
Rabindranath Tagore

Little of me
Let only that little be left of me whereby I may name thee my all,
Let only that little be left of my will whereby I may feel thee on everyside,
And come to thee in everything, and offer to thee my love every moment,
Let only that little be left of me whereby I may never hide thee,
Let only that little of my fetters be left whereby I am bound with thy will
And thy purpose is carried out in my life,
and that is the fetter of thy love.

Rabindranath Tagore (Gitanjali)


One of my heroes - Mansoor Khan on his book "The third curve"

ENERGY STOREHOUSE Mansoor Khan says there was a centre in his life he was always moving towards — leading a non-urban life. Photo: Sampath Kumar G.P.
ENERGY STOREHOUSE Mansoor Khan says there was a centre in his life he was always moving towards — leading a non-urban life. Photo: Sampath Kumar G.P.

Mansoor Khan, who directed the cult Hindi film Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak and then quietly retreated to his dream farm in Coonoor is now back in the limelight with a book called The Third Curve, which looks at world economic reality. He tells we are all deluded about things, like money, growing forever

Mansoor Khan is charming, down-to-earth, has an ability to laugh at himself, and has a view of money and success that most of us would scoff at. But he also has a life one would envy — after dropping out of top engineering colleges, doing a successful stint in Bollywood, he’s running a cheese-making farm in Coonoor, growing vegetables, and writing about Peak Oil! “I don’t believe in superheroes, I’m Mr. Reality,” he laughs, when we suggest he pose in front of a statue of Superman at the launch of his book in Bangalore. And in saying that he quite ably characterises himself. Excerpts from an interview:
What connects the dots between films, cheese, oil, and the economy?
My heart! (laughs). Whatever I feel is should do, I do that. There are no boundaries for me. Living on the farm was what I always wanted to move towards, so there is a centre — to live a non-urban life. I can’t live in cities. I wanted to live in a small place, have my own farm, grow my own food. This book is something that needed to be said. It’s not like I wanted to be an author and looked for a subject to write on. I realised no one else was talking about it. I’ve been studying this for the last 13 years. We knew the collapse would happen, but didn’t know which year, but you could see all the signs. We knew oil was going to peak. Sadly we all see the world through the lens of economics. Economics is the study of false tokens called money. We started believing that the token has value and started making our rules around it. And you can fudge tokens. In the west the collapse was called the Black Swan event – it didn’t fit into their model – like a Bollywood guy who writes a book on energy! But this book is not a surprise if people knew my background. I was studying engineering, computer science, electronics. I was good in physics, which is among other things, the study of energy.
Are you a very easily unhappy or dissatisfied person? You dropped out of IIT, then Cornell, then MIT. You made four films in Bollywood and moved to a farm…
No, no…The only thing I changed my mind on was engineering. I didn’t wan to do that as a career. I liked to understand it. Films… I was always sure I didn’t want to do it forever. If I can make films, I will, otherwise I won’t. I became more aware of environmental issues, about chaos humans are creating on planet. I studied that. I like the idea that my world is small. I like that I have time for myself, can grow my own food. We experimented with a gobar gas plant, my wife Tina and I make cheese. It’s adventure, it’s fun, it’s hands on. I can’t understand what people do in cities. Honestly! It’s so boring ya… The world is not going to be able to sustain its cities. Cities are energy intensive. That model will have to redefine itself. The suburbia of America is already facing it. It was built on a car and driving model. Our world here in India is quickly shifting there.
Living on your farm changed your worldview?
No, my worldview was formed even before I went there. Living on farm consolidated my thinking, made it sharper. Petroleum took 250 million years to collect. We burnt half of it in 150 years. So the notion of sustainability is a totally false notion. How can you be sustainable, because the primary energy you use is in a deficit of 10,000 : 1.
Are we too late already to change anything?
The “too late” part isn’t here. It’s in climate change. We’ve crossed the tipping point. Climate change is the other side of Peak Oil. In terms of energy consumption and changing our world it’s not too late. For India it’s definitely not too late. We are only now trying to go the other way, the way of the Western countries that are in the doldrums.
So you’re saying growth is an illusion?
Growth is a disease. Yes, now it’s become illusive! First it was real. It became an illusion after a point. We fudged reality with artificial means in the form of stocks, mortgages, leveraging, options, derivatives. We’re getting more and more notional. Money has to grow, double, follow the rules; so we’ll make it, either by real means or mathematical means. We make models from our minds.
Then this year’s economics Nobel is wasted?
(Laughs heartily) They can do what they want. They are deluded. I’m not only blaming economists. I’m saying this about everybody who believes in finance planning. You can make your lifestyles easy with surplus food, labour saving devices, hi speed trains, 300 TV channels …we felt great and felt “why shouldn’t this go on forever?” The reason why it can’t, lies in another domain called energetics – it is a discipline that has to replace economics. If you don’t do the real accounting, you’re fooling yourself. I’m not saying all industries will decay. When you look at real growth, GDP, it’s definitely going to go down in a shrinking energy world.My book says energy is the currency of the universe and the bell curve I have plotted are the laws of energy. We are at the top of the curve and we’re beginning the descent now, and there’s no up again. Nothing grows forever. You’re going to feel the pain of shrinkage. That’s what our finance minister is feeling now. They cant figure it out. This is not a book of blame. People are looking though the wrong lens — that of money. We’re busily making false plans. Because India is an emerging market we can pay the high energy prices — 100 dollars a barrel. Oil is not going to get over. We’ve only finished half. But descent is what I’m talking about. In a paradigm of growth, how can you do with less? Oil is a dam of 250 million years of sunlight. Which we found, looted, had a good time. Now, time to reckon with reality.
Does your book offer solutions?
Solution is the wrong word. Problems have solutions. Traffic jam is problem; death is not a problem. It’s a predicament. You don’t find solutions for it; you find ways of dealing with it. The finiteness of the planet is a predicament. We’re refusing to accept we’re energy-holics. You’re refusing to accept that your world runs on liquid fuels; we’re enmeshed in it. You’re trying to find arithmetic solutions to exponential problems. Transition is about accepting ecological thinking rather than industrial thinking. Right now I’m sounding like an oddball but I know it’s going to happen, I’m confident, so I’m writing about it. I had to WAIT to write about this. Before the economic collapse no one would believe it. We’re living in a bubble economy. It’s a fascinating subject – you can make a 100-part series on this.
Why don’t you?
We should! I’ll talk to Aamir (Khan, his cousin) about it (guffaws). I don’t have the money or the energy. I can do great talks.
What were your learnings from Bollywood?
I learnt how to deal with people first of all (laughs). Because I was too much of a loner. Because when you’re part of a big team, you’ve to instruct, be captain of the ship. I was fortunate enough to have a father who handled all the nitty-gritty. I was happily left to do the writing, direction – the creative part. Things were not so dear to me; somebody else did the marketing. I really didn’t care.
You felt no pressure at any time to deliver another QSQT?
I didn’t feel it right after QSQT itself, which is why I made Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander. This is a completely wrong way of looking at life, at success. I laugh at this notion of success. I find people are so badly trapped in this illusion. How unhappy can you be? I’m so happy with my book’s reach out…with whatever’s happened. It’s happiness in the happening, in the right now.


At the chennai book launch:

Khan, however, began by saying that what was said about him is unrelated to what he was going to talk about. “The book is about possibility; it’s not about morality, guilt, environment or blame.”
In 1850, oil, he said, made growth possible. And since then, growth became more plentiful, and we believed it would go on forever. In fact, “the biggest religion in the planet is growth”, Khan said, and explained how the ‘paradise times’ lasted till the 1960s. “And then came the ecological collapse,” when the life signs of the planet withered. But, “we thought money could control it!” he said, pointing out that, shortly, money too collapsed.

Laws of money

Next, Khan explained the laws of money we have built into the system. “The stock market is institutionalised gambling. Every time we’re in trouble, we add a new concept of money. Each is more powerful, more complex. And this is the growth trap — the ‘unbelievable growth’ that you seek comes with ‘crazy risk’.”
Ably supported with an interesting Power-Point presentation, Khan showed his audience at Landmark, Citi Centre, how money can double every 10 years, provided there is energy. “But the earth is finite, all resources come from here.”

Rapid exploitation

Khan then went back to the oil example — which the Red Indians knew about long before it was discovered — and which has now been rapidly exploited by civilisation. “Civilisation always talks about exploitation. But do we do it in our families? Do we say, ‘let’s exploit our aunty? No!” Then why the earth and its resources? Exploiting oil — or forcing oil-wells to pump out faster — actually backfires, because once the well reaches its peak, production only drops. “But ‘peak oil’ has not come into our parlance. In 2005, when oil peaked, and production dropped, prices shot up. The global meltdown of 2008 came as a huge surprise to economists,” he said, adding that it had not surprised him. Because, when the concept of growth (an exponential graph), and the reality (a bell-shaped graph) separate at one point, growth becomes false.
“Growth, according to me, is a disease,” said Khan, quoting Edward Abbey’s famous statement ‘growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell’. “We have bred cancerous ideology into our economy.” And with growth demanding more and more energy — and given that half that energy (oil reserves) has been used up in just 150 years — we’re heading towards a crash if we go into denial. “But there’s a better way — acceptance, and then a controlled energy descent.” And that, he said, was the third curve — transition. “But it’s not just about putting CFC bulbs, or putting off all the lights for two hours and holding hands. That is fun, but it won’t stop anything. We need to talk not just about economics, but also energetics, because we are addicted to cheap energy, and we need to get over that.” In the last 150 years, every single thing we have made is more efficient. “So how come we need more energy? That is because we are only looking at growth.” Deal with reality, the author advised. Or else, “reality will deal with you”.

http://www.thehindu.com/features/magazine/chasing-a-rainbow/article5228808.ece

Mansoor Khan, whose book on alternative energy was released recently, talks about the leap from making blockbusters like Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak to growing one’s own food.

Mansoor Khan, the man behind blockbuster films like Qayamat se Qayamat tak and Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander, is not in the hustle and bustle of Mumbai where the biggest Hindi films are produced, but in quiet Coonoor. 
His journey from the city to the 22-acre ‘Acres Wild’ in the hills began with computer science at IIT-Mumbai, Cornell University and MIT. But this was not his calling. Instead, he followed in the footsteps of his father, filmmaker Nasir Hussian. Though temporary, filmmaking helped him identify Coonoor as the space that would fill his spiritual vacuum.
After the recent release of his book The Third Curve: The End of Growth As You Know It, he talks about his filmmaking days, life as a farmer and energy perspectives. Excerpts from an interview:
Why did you leave Mumbai?
When I came back to India from the U.S. in 1980, I realised that I did not like cities. The city was all about straight lines, traffic lights and people rushing to office. Open spaces, the desire to grow my food — it slowly began making sense. It took 23 years to materialise, but the decision was made a long time back. People ask me why I gave up a successful film career. I tell them I moved away to something that I value more than some film of mine doing well. It’s of no value to me that someone else thinks I am successful.
Why films at all, then?
I had to prove myself to my father. I had a knack for telling stories. Could I render the story differently; through characters that are real, and not completely over-the-top? Life took its own course after that. I do not believe in free will beyond a point. We do not make our destiny, but within that we can shape our lives and believe in something and know what is good for us. I bought land in Mandwa, where I went sailing, and thought I would live there. It took me three hours (from Mumbai) to reach there. I realised I can’t live half here and half there. I had to get out of there totally.
What was the turning point?
The government wanted to take my land in Mandwa in 1997. That led me to question the basis on which the government acquired land for development. Later I met Medha Patkar and that led me wonder what we actually value when we have dammed our rivers. I realised that this is the other side of education we were not taught because we are not the ones being thrown out of our homes. We created an inverted concept of development, which is why these people are homeless.
What is the central theme of your book?
My book talks about possibility. I’ve explained why economic growth is over from an energy perspective.  Growth is dead for a geological reason. Oil makes the industrial world work. It is the keystone of energy. Remove that energy, everything else fails. We’ve reached the peak of the resources. So, growth slows down because the earth gives you these resources slower after the halfway point. Nothing in nature grows forever. How did we come up with the concept that growth can go on forever, when we are using stored energy? Oil is nothing but 250 million years of stored sunlight.
Why not make a film about this instead?
A film is not a strong medium. It’s a great medium for entertainment, propaganda, titillation and instruction. But it does not serve as a platform for shifting paradigms or to change a set of rules. Real life is good; you’ll stick with your paradigm till real life teaches you that this does not work.
To what extent do you think your views will be absorbed?
I do not expect people to change instantly, but hope they will keep it in the back of their mind. It will only be seen in hindsight. If you don’t believe what I’ve said in my book, please go ahead and do what you think. But keep this lens handy. Tomorrow, when something you did according to your rules fails, look through my lens and see. May be it will make sense.

Lots of spirituality websites coming my way!

Friday, October 25, 2013

A very good definition of yoga

Traditionally, Yoga (Sanskrit: union) has referred to the realization through direct experience of the preexisting union between Atman and Brahman, Jivatman and Paramatman, and Shiva and Shakti, or the realization of Purusha standing alone as separate from Prakriti. Yoga is the realization  of union between the microcosm of individuality with the macrocosm of universality.
Yoga is the union of the
- Microcosm of individuality and the
- Macrocosm of universality
Yoga is the union of the
- Atman (Center of consciousness, Self; Vedanta) and
- Brahman (Absolute reality; Vedanta)
Yoga is the union of the
- Jivatman (Soul as consciousness plus traits; Vedanta) and
- Paramatman: (Self/soul as only consciousness; Vedanta)
Yoga is the union of
- Shiva (Static, latent, unchanging, masculine; Tantra) and
- Shakti (Active, manifesting, changing, feminine; Tantra)
Yoga is the dis-union of
- Purusha (Untainted consciousness; Sankyha-Yoga) and
- Prakriti (Primordial, unmanifest matter; Sankyha-Yoga)

What is the mind? (Mind, yoga, karma and suffering)

If you transcend the mind, you transcend everything in one stroke.
Mind is karma. If you transcend the mind, you transcend the karmic bondage altogether. 

What is the mind? If I don't know what part of me is the "mind" how do I transcend it?
When does one acquire a mind? Is it at birth? Does it come along with the so-called "eternal" soul?
Do we all start with the same mind?

Also what do we mean when we say "experience life"? What is life? Is there a rule to live rightly? What is one's life like? What should it be like?

=========================================================================

The whole process of yoga is to transcend the limitations of the mind. As long as you are in the mind, you are ruled by the past, because mind is just an accumulation of the past. If you are looking at life only through the mind, then you will make your future just like the past, nothing more, nothing less. Isn’t the world enough proof of that? It does not matter what opportunities come our way through science, technology and many other things, aren’t we repeating the same historical scenes again and again?

The past is carried only in your mind. Only because your mind is active, past exists. Suppose all your mind ceases right now, is your past here? There is no past here, only present. The reality is only present, but past exists through our minds. Or in other words, mind is karma. If you transcend the mind, you transcend the karmic bondage altogether. If you want to solve them one by one, it may take a million years. In the process of solving, you are also building new stock of karma.

The whole effort of spiritual sciences has always been how to transcend the mind, how to look at life beyond the limitations of the mind. 

But Patanjali nailed it this way – “To rise above the modifications of your mind, when you cease your mind, when you cease to be a part of your mind, that is yoga.” All the influences of the world are entering you only through the instrument of the mind. If you can rise beyond the influence of your mind in full awareness, then you are naturally one with everything. The separation – you and me, time and space – has come only because of the mind. It is a bondage of the mind. If you drop the mind, you have dropped time and space. There is no such thing as this and that. There is no such thing as here and there. There is no such thing as now and then. Everything is here and now.
If you rise above all the modifications and manifestations of the mind, then you can play with the mind whichever way you want. You can use your mind with devastating impact in your life, but if you are in it, you will never realize the nature of the mind.


The mind is essentially talking about a certain bank of memory. It is this complex web of memory which gives you a certain character. This memory is being gathered every moment of your life, in wakefulness and sleep. You are unconscious of most of the memory that you gather because it is being gathered in such heavy quantities. So many things that you do so easily, something as simple as walking on two legs for example, is possible not just because of your bone and muscle, but because of the memory that you carry. The body remembers how to walk. If you forget, you cannot walk.

Karmic Impressions

When we say memory, people tend to think of the mind, but the body has much, much more memory than the mind. Your great, great, great-grandfather’s nose is sitting on your face because something inside your body remembers. Your body still remembers how someone was a million years ago and it is still acting that out. So the memory of the body is way bigger than the memory of the mind. This memory is what we refer to as karmic impressions. There was a time when in India, society was trying to manage your karmic impressions. It is for this purpose that jatis, gotras and other things were started. But that has all gone now. So you have to manage it within yourself.
What kind of thoughts you have, on the conscious level, is just the memory that you have gathered on the conscious level in this piece of life, from your birth to now. This conscious memory is called prarabdha. But what kind of emotions these thoughts generate within you is coming largely from an unconscious process of memory. That memory is way bigger than the conscious memory and is called sanchita. Sanchita means the unconscious accumulation of karmic mass, which keeps on acting in its own way. It is not active in terms of manifesting itself but it is active in terms of influencing you in a million different ways. Does that mean you are all fixed and there is nothing you can change? No. It is only because of this basis that you exist. What you want to make out of yourself is still you. Destiny is not a done thing. Destiny is like the skeletal system of your body. It decides your stature but it doesn’t decide everything. How much you put onto this skeletal system is upto you.

A Question of Perspective

Instead of looking at what kind of thoughts or emotions you are getting, just see that in the larger perspective of life you are a tiny speck of dust. In this cosmos, our galaxy is a small happening. In the Milky Way, this Solar System is a speck. In that tiny speck, planet Earth is a super-tiny speck. In that, your city is a micro-tiny speck. In that speck, you are a big man! People have lost perspective of who and what they are. A spiritual process means, even if you cannot experientially see, at least to intellectually understand your place in this existence. This is the simplest thing to get. If you get this much, a new possibility is open – you will walk differently, sit differently, breathe differently and experience life differently.

What this tiny speck thinks and feels is not important. But for most people, what they think and feel is more important than the fabulous cosmic dance that is happening. The whole cosmos is going on phenomenally well today, but just one thought can bother you and put you in the dumps. If you just see “What I think and feel is not so important,” if you bring this distance between you and your thought and emotion, they will become a conscious process. Once your thought and emotion become a conscious process, you are free from the karmic process in many ways. Right now, both your thought and your emotion are a compulsive process. Once it is a conscious process, suddenly you are empowered in such a way that people think you are super human. This is not superhuman, it is just being human.

Suffering is happening essentially because most human beings have lost perspective as to what this life is about. Their psychological process has become far larger than the existential process, or to put it bluntly, you’ve made your petty creation far more important than the Creator’s creation. That is the fundamental source of all suffering. We have missed the complete sense of what it means to be alive here. A thought in your head or an emotion within you determines the nature of your experience right now. The whole creation is happening wonderfully well but just one thought or emotion can destroy everything. And your thought and emotion may have nothing to do even with the limited reality of your life.

What you call as “my mind” is not yours actually. You don’t have a mind of your own. Please look at it carefully. What you call as “my mind” is just society’s garbage bin. Anyone and everyone who passes by you stuffs something into your head. You really have no choice about whom to receive from and whom not to receive from. If you say, “I don’t like this person,” you will receive a lot more from that person than anyone else. You really don’t have a choice. If you know how to process and use it, this garbage is useful. This accumulation of impressions and information that you have gathered is only useful for survival in the world. It has got nothing to do with who you are.


When we talk about a spiritual process, we are talking about shifting from psychological to existential. Life is about the creation that is here, knowing it absolutely and experiencing it the way it is; not distorting it the way you want. If you want to move into existential reality, to put it very simply, you just have to see that what you think is not important, what you feel is not important. What you think has nothing to do with reality. It has no great relevance to life. It is just chattering away with nonsense that you have gathered from somewhere else. If you think it is important, you will never look beyond that. Your attention naturally flows in the direction of whatever you hold as important. If your thought and your emotion is important, naturally your whole attention will be right there. But that is a psychological reality. That has nothing to do with the existential.
Suffering is not showered upon us, it is manufactured. And the manufacturing unit is in your mind. It is time to shut down the manufacturing unit.

Monday, October 21, 2013

All about Hindusim

I had jokingly remarked to my aunt during Navrathri that "Don't make fun of me mami - In 10 years I may end up being a foreknown Hindu than you". That was a casual remark uttered without much thought, with just some good intention.

As I am browsing through The autobiography of a yogi and getting lost in it, I also googled about Hinduism and found a fantastic page here.
I feel that one should know these philosophies before starting to live.
Else, life becomes stressful and meaningless. These scriptures lend concrete meaning to life and how to lead a good life and mould one's character.

Hinduism as stated here, is the mother of all religions. It has aspects to suit every type of individual.
It is all inclusive. There is not a single thing that is not covered in this religion!
And - I have been born a Hindu without knowing any of this. The idol worship and meaningless stuff we do, has put off so many potential devout Hindus. I am so proud of my Indian lineage and hindu scriptures today. Everything had a meaning. Every mantra, every symbol, every myth!

http://www.dlshq.org/download/hinduismbk.htm#_VPID_6

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Maryan and one of the most talented actresses.. Is anyone better than her?

P.ANIMA

CINEMA Parvathy’s Panimalar in ‘ Maryan’ is her attempt at unravelling a character — flesh, blood and soul

Panimalar is fresh in mind — earthy in colour-soaked clothes, long hair, glistening nose ring and kohl-rimmed eyes. That image in the head will never lead you to Parvathy. The young actor has shaken Panimalar off her. With her hair cropped short, thick glasses, checked shirt, black skirt and a bag slid carelessly across the shoulder, she is every bit just Parvathy. “I wanted to get back to being myself,” she says gloriously winning back her anonymity.
Panimalar has vowed critics and ardent movie-watchers. She is real, solid and Parvathy’s sweat and blood. The actor, who has done a mere 12 films in seven years, dedicated months to knowing Panimalar. And she was daunting. “She is brave and vulnerable. Pani taught me a lot. She was always putting herself out there, emotionally and physically. She drained me.”
The 25-year-old might be getting back to being herself, but not to the self she was before becoming Panimalar. According to the actor, every character she plays nourishes the person she is. Panimalar taught her love and its aches. “People talk of the look in her eyes. At that moment I felt it,” she says.
Being Panimalar
Equipping herself to feel Panimalar’s pains was long drawn, but one that Parvathy insists upon. “Spontaneous acting is rocket science to me. I have seen actors taking a puff and becoming the character before the smoke went out of their mouth. But I have to get into the character’s groove,” she says.
She pieces together the character by living her life in her environment. “I have to know the clothes she wears, how crumbled they are. Does she cook? If so, how does she cook. These become my bag of tricks. For me, a scene just doesn’t happen. It has to have a before and after.” So Parvathy became Panimalar amidst the fisher folk, attending Sunday masses, singing in the choir and learning to weave palm leaves at the craft society. “If I don’t do that a lot of Parvathy will seep into Panimalar. Many from the fisher community will watch the movie and I have to be honest to them.”
Acting and films are not a pastime for Parvathy. It is passion and vocation — one in which she sees a greater purpose. The motive of a film is significant to her. She refused good roles in movies which she thought did not exude a positive purpose. “We are underestimating the power of films. It is important to see how the society shapes up through this art. Films are a big responsibility. It should make a wee bit of improvement. That is what books, art and dance do. So why not movies?”
Sticking to these convictions, she knows she cannot be prolific. “But ethics can’t change. The actor in me and the person I am have to go hand in hand or we will die fighting,” she says.
“I have not done a single character I won’t stand by. That clarity is everything to me,” she says. After her last Malayalam film City of God released in 2010, Parvathy was jobless for a year and a half.
“I call that my golden period. It made me sure why I want to be here. But it also gave me a sense of detachment. I know I cannot compromise on my dignity and my art. This is the result of my arrogant faith,” says Parvathy. Prior to Maryan , there came Andar Bahar in Kannada and Chennaiyil Oru Naal in Tamil.
Quite a few of her films in Malayalam, Tamil and Kannada were not box-office hits. But that helped her love her craft irrespective of chimerical success. “I learnt the hard way. Of course, I want the producer who spends to make money. But my happiness comes from each day of my work. I can have the plum cake, I don’t need the icing.”
The actor also diligently spurns the frills of stardom, beginning with immaculately made-up public appearances. Make-up, she says, “is like sticking pins into my eyes. I just washed my face and went to the premiere of Maryan . I was comfortable, happy and liberated. I cannot be a poster girl. So why try.”
Surviving time
“I will be happy if 20 years later someone watches my movie and says, ‘That girl did a good job.’ The immediate doesn’t matter. It is about that which remains,” Parvathy says. For an actor weaving away from the trappings of a star, anonymity is important.
The actor in her learns through casual interactions. “I am scared of being recognised. When you are looked at, you lose your freedom and that is a huge loss for an actor,” she says.
Even after Maryan , the actor has not far signed any new films. “If I don’t share the passion of a director, I do not want to cheat him by being in it... If I go away nothing is going to happen. You are not indispensable. So what is the hurry?” she asks.
Meanwhile, she makes sure her craft is intact. The arts, music, painting and dance, lure her. “Painting sharpens my sense of colour, music sharpens my ears and when I dance, my body is sharpened. That is my tool. I have to groom myself or else I will become rusty.”
P.ANIMA

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

mini reunion and surrogacy

So, last weekend we had a fabulous mini reunion of college friends at Novotel. Me, Adi and Suman.
We spoke about a lot of things. It was so good. I don't know them well enough but it felt good.
We spoke about our interests - food, travel, etc, our fears and struggles - the baby issue and weight gains...business losses, etc.

Adi strongly felt that I should go for surrogacy and the moment I have a baby in my arms, I would turn into a wonderful mother and all the pain of not having my own baby would vanish. This is exactly what Chaitra also said. But, I still feel the same as I felt during the time I posted this.

I think, so far it has been a great decision to not get into it. I have time for myself now. I don't want to keep shuttling between hospitals. I don't want to go through that trauma. I don't think I can take it.
I am pretty upset with god that he has put me through this in-necessarily. I am not going to fight him and prove that I can upset his plans using IVF and technology. I am going to live and prove that I will lead a very fulfilling life even without having children. If he keeps throwing unwanted things at me, all I can do is, make fun of him and take it all as a joke. I want to be strong enough to survive everything. Right now, I don't think I can ever forgive him for this. It was unfair and I do not deserve this at all.

What do I want to do about babies?
I want to do nothing. I have tortured myself enough and I want my own time. I think I can reach god through other ways than by having a child and growing it up. I do feel better. Last few days The Ganges and The himalayas have been torturing me. I feel like going and doing some yoga class there. I wish this urge sustains and by next year summer I should be able to do a trip to Badri.

Last week, my other best friend who was 7 weeks pregnant had terrible bleeding. She thought she had lost the baby. She spent a night of turbulence, unable to reach the gyn. Atlast, the baby seems ok and she's been advised bed rest. But, I started panicking and got irritated with the whole thing. Why should someone go through this? It's so painful and it does leave a scar. Why didn't the doctors find out the issue? I am sure if they had paid attention they could have found out the cause. It's happened twice already. So, maybe our lady has some problem which causes this. To make things worse, she felt that I was being too bitter and negative and the way she spoke ended up hurting me. She made me feel like I was a bitter and negative woman, which I am not. I was just frightened.. and I felt that personally I would not want to handle this or go through this and I wish this is the last time she goes through this. It does hurt when your best friend misunderstands and judges you. I know that she was going through a bad phase and normally she is too understanding of me. But, somehow I felt bad that day and I don't want to call up till the baby thing settles.

Then, today I was reading about what could be the possible causes of bleeding during pregnancy. I read abt a woman, who had her first pregnancy and she bled so much and probably lost the baby. I felt so sad for her. Women go through so much trauma, no wonder they get irritated. Pregnancy changes your body so much. You no longer seem to be your old self. Hats off to all those women who bravely accomplish such a journey. Also bringing up a child has its own set of problems.

While looking at this, I also remembered Manju. The lady who had gone through probably 8 IVFs!
I suddenly thought of her and God! I was just wishing she had had her next IVF and conceived. This woman has gone through hell so many times and I don't know how she does it. So, I checked on her blog and wow.. she seems to be pregnant. I started reading about her pregnancy from the beginning and when I came to the last post I was devastated. No, she should not be going through this. Her babies need to come out fine. God! Why are you doing this to her?
She must have prayed so much! You have answered the prayers of so many less deserving people.. why not her? Why do you make her go through this? I am sincerely praying and I can see so many people praying for Manju and cheering her. That's the spirit of humanity. I can understand what she is going through now. It's probably going to scar her. I will take the lesson from her and not undergo all this trauma. Totally not worth it for me, but for her, she is willing to die for her children. She has that much hope and interest to own her babies. God! I wish some months from now, she is happy - holding her twins, having forgotten this gory episode. Heartfelt prayers for Manju.. But still, God - this is unfair. Why? Oh WHy?


Neil Gaman on where he gets his ideas from

http://www.neilgaiman.com/p/Cool_Stuff/Essays/Essays_By_Neil/Where_do_you_get_your_ideas%3F

AR Rahman on ego, fame and money

"I was a common man and I will always remain a common man. No amount of stardom will ever consume my soul. Money comes, money goes. Fame comes, fame goes. I believe every human being is a celebrity in their own right".
"To be successful, it is also very important to be humble and never let fame or money travel to your head. Ego is 'Edging God Out'. Success is important, but it doesn't always drive creativity. The integrity and passion of music is what ultimately drives me, with the unconditional blessing from the Almighty of course," he said.
Rakeysh Om Prakash Mehra told that Rahman says "Getting from 0 to 90 is an uphill task, but 90 to 91 is as difficult as 0 to 90 and 91 to 92 too". How true!

Read more at: http://entertainment.oneindia.in/tamil/news/2013/interview-ego-edging-god-out-ar-rahman-121534.html

Being constantly spiritual!

One simple thing every human being has to do is, make your sense of involvement indiscriminate. If you look at a person, a tree, or a cloud, you are equally involved. You are equally involved with your own body and the breath. If you have no discrimination as to which is better, and you are equally involved with every aspect in life, then you will be constantly spiritual. Nobody needs to teach you anything about spirituality.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Sattvic and Tamasic

The seventh, eight and ninth days of Navaratri are the time of Sarasvati and the quality of sattva. Today, Sadhguru speaks about this quality.
Sadhguru: There is no physical entity without all these three dimensions – sattva, rajas and tamas. Every atom has these three dimensions of vibrance, of energy, of a certain static nature. If these three elements are not there, you cannot hold anything together. It will break up. If it is just sattva, you won’t remain here for a moment – you will be gone. If it is just rajas, it’s not going to work. If it’s just tamas, you will be asleep all the time. So, these three qualities are present in everything. It is just a question of to what extent you mix these things.
Moving from tamasic nature to sattva means you are refining the physical body, the mental body, the emotional body and the energy body. If you refine this so much that it became very transparent, you cannot miss the source of creation which is within you. Right now, it is so opaque that you cannot see. The body has become like a wall blocking everything. Something so phenomenal – the source of creation – is sitting here but this damn wall can block it because it’s so opaque. It’s time to refine it. Otherwise you will only know the wall, you will not know who lives inside.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Consecration and temples

“If you transform mud into food, we call this agriculture. If you make food into flesh and bone, we call this digestion. If you make flesh into mud, we call this cremation. If you can make this flesh or even a stone or an empty space into a divine possibility, that is called consecration.”
Today, modern science is telling you that everything is the same energy manifesting itself in a million different ways. If that is so, what you call the Divine, what you call a stone, what you call a man or a woman, what you call a demon, are all the same energy functioning in different ways. For example, the same electricity becomes light, sound and so many other things, depending upon the technology. So it is just a question of technology; if you have the necessary technology, you can make the simple space around you into a Divine exuberance; you can just take a piece of rock and make it into a God or a Goddess; this is the phenomenon of consecration.
- Sadhguru

The ancient cultures have always centered around powerful energy fields or places of immense spiritual significance. In these cultures, every aspect of life was carefully studied with a view to assisting the individual’s inner growth. Temples or consecrated spaces stood at the very heart of these early societies. Living in a consecrated space nurtures human well-being and brings benefits in various aspects of life. Because it does not matter what you are eating, how you are or how long you live; at some point, a need will come that you want to get in touch with the source of Creation. If that possibility is not created across the planet and is not available to every human being who seeks, then society has failed to provide true wellbeing for a human being. It is with this awareness that in our culture, every street had three temples; because even a few metres should not pass without there being a consecrated space. The idea was not to create one temple versus the other; the idea was that nobody should walk in a space which is not consecrated; nobody should live in a space which is not consecrated. The temple was always

Consecration is the process of utilizing life energies to create human wellbeing and bring benefits in various aspects of life. It is a process where a material substance is energized into the highest, subtlest possible reverberance. It is a science of transforming a stone, an empty space, or even one’s own body into a Divine possibility.
In today’s world, it is still possible for you and your family to live in a consecrated space through the powerfully energized yantras.

At some point, a need will come that you want to get in touch with the source of Creation. If that possibility is not created across the planet and is not available to every human being who seeks, then society has failed to provide true wellbeing for a human being. It is with this awareness that in this culture, every street had three temples; because even a few meters should not pass without there being a consecrated space. The idea was not to create one temple versus the other, the idea was that nobody should walk in a space which is not consecrated; nobody should live in a space which is not consecrated. The temple was always built first, and then houses were built. 

Agastya muni was sent to South India by Shiva – the Aadhi Yogi, or the first yogi. He consecrated every human habitation south of the Deccan Plateau in some form and made sure that a live spiritual process was on. He did not spare a single human habitation. They say it took him 4,000 years of work. We do not know whether it is 4,000 or 400 or 140 – but looking at the phenomenal amount of work and the amount of travel that he did, he obviously lived an extraordinary lifespan. 
 
The whole state of Tamil Nadu is built like this. Every significant town in Tamil Nadu had a grand temple and around that, a little town. Because the kind of dwelling you live in is not important. Whether your house is 10,000 square feet or just 1000 square feet is not going to make an ultimate difference in your life, but being around a consecrated space is going to make a phenomenal difference in your life. With this understanding, they built human habitations like this: if there are 25 houses, there must be one temple. Whether you go there or not, whether you pray or not, whether you know the mantra or not, is not the point. You must be in a consecrated space every moment of your life.

As life is just energy manifested itself in various forms, a whole science of consecration is also about using these life energies and the manifested forms which could be of immense benefit and serve human well-being on various dimensions. The Linga is one such form and the science of manifesting energy in the Linga form is an ancient science, which has been mastered in this part of the world and been prevalent for thousands of years.

Here, in India, people did not believe in god. You need to understand there were never any prayers in India till a few centuries ago. Only invocations, no prayers. Even today, nobody is leading a prayer in the Indian temple. Nobody tells you you must pray, but the tradition is you must sit there for a while. It’s very alive in South India even today. These places were created as energy centers where people could go, recharge themselves, reverberate with the energy and come out. For different types of requirements different types of temples were created. Now if you are suffering from fear you go to one kind of temple, lack of love you go to another kind of temple, lack of prosperity you go to another kind of temple – they created different types of energies. This whole science is called as the science of consecration. You consecrate a certain space with a certain reverberation where people can go and benefit from that.

For different purposes they created different types of temples where you need not go and appeal for anything. You just go sit there, imbibe that and come. This is a kind of technology. But when the bhakti movement swept the country, this technology became diluted. When the bhaktas or devotees came – a devotee is not interested in any science. He grows from the strength of his emotion – his emotion is everything for him. Earlier all the temples were built by the yogis and the siddhas, but later on devotees started building the temple. When the devotees started building temples, they started making them whichever way they like because these are romantic people. They are in love with something, so they just do it whichever way they feel like it – for them science and technology means nothing. Because of this, so many things got distorted.
So your ideas of God, whatever the idea, is just a social influence upon you, isn’t it? If you really want to know, you should not assume anything, that’s the first thing. From where did this idea of God come to you? Because there is creation, you assumed there is a creator, isn’t it? So the only reason why you thought of a creator is because of the creation. The creation is definitely the doorway and which is the most intimate part of creation to you in your life? Yourself, isn’t it? So this is the easiest and simplest way.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

My Valrhona experience

I got my hands on the Grand Cru bars! Thanks Lachoo for making it possible. The chocolates set me back by many thousands of Rupees but when I read that there is a huge shortage of cocoa and there will be a chocolate crisis by 2020, I commended my decision to order the expensive Valrhonas.
Who knows for how long I'll get my supply of chocolates?

So, I tasted the world famous Manjari and - can chocolate taste so different? It has so many layers to it.. berries and what not! I was amazed.The milk chocolate was ok ok.. somewhat comparable to Dairy milk. But the darks were really good. I could not get the tastes mentioned in the pamphlet but I could find the difference.

One lady blogged abt chocolate tasting!
http://chocolatecouverture.co.uk/an-evening-with-valrhona/

Cheers!