That thing abt confidence

So, today was one of those unusual days when I was very confident while stepping out of the house. There was a silly thing which might have contributed to it...donno.

I have heard people say, "When you dress well you feel confident", "When you look great you feel confident".. many weird statements also..like "My Jimmy choos make me feel confident"...
So, my guess is sometimes these clothes or makeup or shoes make people feel confident.
If we use the external appearance as a major guideline to confidence, there will be days when you feel your skin is bad,  or you look bloated or your dress doesn't fit well, etc etc. There will be a thousand reasons not to feel confident. But, truly, we don't need a Jimmy Choo or Louis Vuitton to make us feel confident. These things cost a bomb and that kinda confidence is truly a costly luxury!

When we feel relaxed, content and good about ourself we do feel confident. That is an armour for anyone stepping out of the house.
I was wondering, if I could feel confident just like that, for no reason, without spending a bomb, that's the best thing you could truly wear. I have heard many actors say this "Wear your confidence".
I used to wonder what that meant. I truly understand how one feels when one is confident. It feels so great. You don't feel inferior or little. You feel you can handle the world. So why don't we feel confident always? What causes us to feel less confident? That will be my next observation.

Why do we need to feel superior?

I don't know if my observation is right, but we do certain things because of certain reasons - known or unknown reasons.

Why do girls have this constant need to look beautiful? Why do men crave success?
Why do we feel proud of some things?

How it all started...

One of the conversations with a friend...went in the wrong direction and started to hurt me.. things which I wanted to bury, were nudged and I started feeling resentful and angry. I wanted to be on the other side.. the one giving advice, not the one being adviced. I had tried something and it did not work for me, but for that person, without working that hard, it materialized. It made me resentful. It made me appear like a failure (atleast for sometime). I didn't like it that someone was making me feel miserable, for something that I had given up!

There is nothing wrong in taking advice. I have sincerely taken advice from so many people, but sometimes like this, I feel like tearing my hair.

Why?

On deep thought we all want to feel superior. Many of the things that we do, are to ensure that we are at the top, so that we don't have to "listen" from others. My parents have told this to me in many ways, many times. I never got the point. Now, it just struck me. We don't want to feel that we are inferior to anyone. For example, why do most people want to slim down? To look good.. to feel accepted.. to feel superior. A fat person is an easy target to shoot. Unknowingly we aspire to be thin because we associate beauty and slim with "superior". We want to be first in class, because it makes us superior. Most of these chases are for that.

But, if we are so rooted in ourself and we know what we want and where we are going, there is no comparison because all of us are unique and our paths are also unique. There is no superiority or inferiority there. Right? Atleast I learnt a lesson that day.

Stand by your man...

This is a really nice song.. and as usual, I listen to songs without paying attention to the lyrics.
But, what I want to write about is - standing for yourself..for the choices we make.. for where we are in life..owning up..and not feeling awkward or sympathetic.

Suddenly why this post?
I have been going to some place where I meet a lot of women. There are all kinds of women there - working, non-working, etc. Some of them were super ambitious and it was very difficult talking to them being on the other side "non-working" without sufficiently injuring one's ego. Why is a job so important? I have no idea. We are conditioned so much that we pity ourselves if we do not work for someone else...for the paycheck.

I realized that I feel so inferior to even tell that I am a housewife. It is a choice that I should accept. Why do I not accept it? There are dozens of things that I have done, which I have felt awkward explaining to people. I realized that I do not have the courage to backup my decisions. I realized that I let myself down, more than others doing so.Why is it so difficult? When we make a choice that is a little unusual, what is wrong? Why should we feel awkward and sympathetic? Why can't we just stand by that choice? If we don't stand for our choices, who else will? I am not saying that justify all the wrong things you did.. It's ok to commit mistakes, but it's ok to accept that it was made and stand by that decision still. This is going to be New Year Resolution 1.

To stand up for myself.
Whether I work, or sleep or laze around...
Whether I choose a low paying job or choose to study..
Whether I wear a torn dress or a well fitted one
Whether I am out in shabby hair or not..
I will stand by myself. I will respect who I am and my choices.
I will not feel apologetic for the choices I make.