The dark night of the soul

I was reading Osho and he mentioned "the dark night of the soul".
It has been a wonderful journey, reading some portions of this book.
I will jot down the best points from the book later.

Eckhart on the Dark Night of the Soul

Q: Have you ever experienced the dark night of the soul?  Your teachings have been so helpful through this difficult period.  Can you address this subject?
A: The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time.  Yes, I have also experienced it.  It is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.  The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression.  Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything.  Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level.  The death of someone close to you could trigger it, especially premature death, for example if your child dies.  Or you had built up your life, and given it meaning – and the meaning that you had given your life, your activities, your achievements, where you are going, what is considered important, and the meaning that you had given your life for some reason collapses.
It can happen if something happens that you can’t explain away anymore, some disaster which seems to invalidate the meaning that your life had before.  Really what has collapsed then is the whole conceptual framework for your life, the meaning that your mind had given it.  So that results in a dark place.  But people have gone into that, and then there is the possibility that you emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness.  Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain.  Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.
They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind.  A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer.  It’s a kind of re-birth.  The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die.  What dies is the egoic sense of self.  Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.  Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening.  Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.
The first lesson in A Course in Miracles says “Nothing I see in this room means anything”, and you’re supposed to look around the room at whatever you happen to be looking at, and you say “this doesn’t mean anything”, “that doesn’t mean anything”.   What is the purpose of a lesson like that?  It’s a little bit like re-creating what can happen during the dark night of the soul.  It’s the collapse of a mind-made meaning, conceptual meaning, of life… believing that you understand “what it’s all about”.  With A Course in Miracles, it’s a voluntary relinquishment of the human mind-made meaning that is projected, and you go voluntary into saying “I don’t know what this means”, “this doesn’t mean anything”.  You wipe the board clean.  In the dark night of the soul it collapses.
You are meant to arrive at a place of conceptual meaninglessness.  Or one could say a state of ignorance – where things lose the meaning that you had given them, which was all conditioned and cultural and so on.  Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning.  It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything.  That’s why it’s so scary when it happens to you, instead of you actually consciously embracing it.  It can bring about the dark night of the soul – to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence.  You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness.  Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore.

How do we go to the next level

I feel I'm stagnating. I don't see much progress.
One wonders, how do you use the 24 hours to become a better self?
I try to be mindful. I try to give things my 100%.
Yet, there is this dissatisfaction. I feel I have not achieved anything.
I wonder when this feeling would go.
Why can't I just accept that all is well and is exactly the way it should be?
Every small change takes a long time to incorporate and it can be painful.
You will slip back and go round and round.
It happens.. That's why most diets fail. The bad habits have us hooked so badly that it's so difficult to bring in good changes.
Changes happen sooooo slowly. I don't even know when they fully get installed.
Aah..painful painful...Sigh.. Sigh!
 

Romcoms

There are those times when u seek solace, to be left alone - you and your romcom playing - and those are the exact moments when the whole world chooses to disturb you.
I find it extremely irritating to be bugged with a thousand questions exactly when you're beginning to sit down and enjoy your favourite serial or check out the paper.
Can't things just wait?
Or is it that people don't like that thought of us having time for ourselves?
For all I know, romcoms saved more lives than CPR.

Becoming boundless

There is something within you which is longing for the Ultimate – always.
So if you want to become boundless and you are trying to attempt it through physicality, you are essentially trying to go towards boundlessness in installments.
Something you might have touched when you jumped into the ocean, when you saw a mountain, when you sang a song, when you danced, when you closed your eyes, in so many ways it could have happened to an individual. You touched it, but now the question is of sustainability.

My take:
So, as someone who's trying harding to grasp some fundamentals and cross the physical plane and experience a higher self, I was thinking what all one could do.
Foremost, one needs to be a keen observer with tremendous patience.
This is probably where an artist is better off. He observes things with tremendous care, love and patience. That quality, in itself is worth the effort. So, if you're a keen observer probably you will succeed easily in your spiritual pursuit.
Other thing is bhakti - if you're so devoted that you eventually dissolve yourself, that could be another path.
Sadhguru himself has told that kriya and karma and jnana are long wound paths.
It's essential that we are taught to be aware... and attentive and mindful.
It could make a world of difference.

http://blog.ishafoundation.org/yoga-meditation/demystifying-yoga/what-is-spirituality/
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/sadhguru/masters-words/from-creation-to-creator/
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/lifestyle/relationships/building-relationships/

Does teaching quality degrade as you spend more time teaching?

This question is applicable to every field.
But, for me, I ask this with respect to a specific situation.
In New Acropolis, I see many Level 3 students so much in love with the school.
I asked many of them whether it is the volunteerism part of what is it that drives them.
They all unanimously said that it's the course and its effect on them, more than the volunteerism.
So, I was wondering, why is it that I was not wowed. What could be the issue?
Am I totally missing something?
One thing is - we were merged twice into new batches. Our classes were rushed into.
My old classmates left. They were a pillar of support for me.We were kind of the same wavelength and we had good quality discussions. Whereas the new group is more individualistic and we never meet or discuss. So, it got a little boring for me to adjust.

But on the other hand I was wondering if the content seemed boring or too esoteric.
The delivery, definitely could be improved.
But, I was also wondering, is it that these people started with a lot of enthusiasm and somehow due to constant repetition some of the teachings got watered down? Has the quality of teaching gone down? When I look at the 3rd level students I wonder, what keeps them so glued?
What happens when someone teaches for 15-20 years? Can they maintain the same level of enthusiasm? I have seen that the topic which my teacher understands well or probably likes, she delivers it much better than others. The delivery is a whole new level. That time I understood that because the content is so big and probably they themselves do not have reference texts, the quality cannot be improved beyond a point. Also everyone has personal preferences and we do give more time and attention to some things than others. So that covers the difference in impact between certain classes.

I don't know. Can we ever completely know why someone likes something? There maybe 1 or 2 obvious reasons but a million hidden reasons that support his decision. We will never truly know.

Reasoning and being sure

For the last few months I have contemplated quitting my philosophy classes as the classes don't make much sense to me. Also the delivery is not great.

So, we finally had a talk and I did tell them honestly that the others books that I am reading now are helping me more than the classes.

Along this introspection I realized that I crossed level 1 simply because I wanted to socialize and somehow my team was very helpful and close. We helped elevate each other. But that alone cannot be the reason for attending classes.

I realized that you can do some things just like that but for certain things you better have the right reasons. It's good to know why you're doing certain things or why you don't want to do certain things.

If you're strong and centered, you'll do things for the right reasons. There will be no compulsion or half hearted work or confusion. I realized that as I become more strong and centered I will make better choices.

Right at this time, I read this yday. Very appropriate.

"Only if you are an individual by yourself, you can hold a relationship. Otherwise, because of compulsive needs, you hang on to someone. That’s not really a relationship. This is just clinging. You would actually cling to anything. Right now it happens to be human beings. If you are not okay by yourself, if you are using the other person to fill in the gap, it will be constant trouble. If you really want to have absolutely fantastic relationships no matter where you go, first, you need to establish yourself as a joyful human being."

http://blog.ishafoundation.org/lifestyle/relationships/building-relationships/

Moods

A lot of our experiences are shaped by our mood.
So, we're in mood A and another person is in mood B.
When we interact the whole experience is going to be driven by our moods.

Our moods are shaped by incidents themselves. We all carry so much left over emotions that it's almost impossible at approach a moment in its own - without a previous mood affecting the texture and experience of the current moment.

Nice post on self esteem

Wonderful quote on self-esteem:

Self-esteem cannot really be built from the outside. You begin to see the real evidence that you can, in fact, affect the things around you. These experiences ultimately integrate themselves inside — if that foundation is there. Self-esteem does not come from surrounding yourself with people and things that seem to increase your value. Real self-esteem is an integration of an inner value with things in the world around you.
It’s about your worth. Your self-worth… You — and only you — can ultimately put the price tag on that. Your tag reveals not only how you value yourself, but how imaginative and original you are about valuing others. In my experience, happier people are people who have not only a high price tag on themselves, but a high price tag on the people around them — and the tags don’t necessarily have to do with market value. They have to do with all the sense that adds up to human value.

“Little triumphs are the pennies of self-esteem.”



Source: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2014/05/01/letters-to-a-young-artist-anna-deavere-smith-confidence/

Couple image

Each of us has distinct personalities. We have identities and image, which we tell ourselves and portray to others.

When we were going through this unemployment crisis a while ago, this this struck me.
Do we appear as a lazy, failure to others? Somehow this thought bothered me for quite some time.
I was thinking of other couples and could see that each couple has a "couple" personality as well.. an image they portray to others.

And last few days I have been thinking a lot about Brad and Angelina. Brad comes across as such a great guy. I looked up a few links about them and they seem to be an awesome couple.
When I read a line here http://lprnoticias.com/2014/02/13/brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-fiery-love-story/ it made me think.

"Speaking of Brad and Angelina is synonymous with family, altruism and many, many children."

It sounded so nice to me.
So, I am gonna make an effort henceforth to give a good image to the world about us.
We may be one of those rare couples who are much more beautiful inside, than the outside. I mean, people may not really know what a great couple we are.. how much we understand each other and support each other.

So whenever I go out I am gonna remember this couple and keep working on that image.
What an awesomely good looking and large hearted couple!

How to refresh - Daniel Pink

Yesterday I was thinking that all my worries and suffering are because nowadays I am increasingly living in the past. The pains of the past keep me chained. Unless I forgive, forget and let go, I am going to get stuck here.

So, I was thinking that I should do more new things and shake myself up so that I have no time to think of the past.

Right at this moment Gretchen shared this post by Daniel Pink. How apt!

http://www.danpink.com//2011/01/3-ways-to-refresh

Relationship rants

So, today I had a bad day. Last week I felt that some people had taken me for granted and caused me a lot of inconvenience. I think I have a linked list for such people. It brought another recent incident where despite knowing my financial and emotional state, someone came to stay at my place.
I was not happy, but I was ok with it. These were people who had taken some care for me in earlier times. We even had a nice conversation about spirituality and we exchanged a lot of info.
Suddenly when the lady started probing abt my parents and others and made me feel a little down about my financial status and the status of my in-laws, my guards went up. I became very defensive. I don't know what I said but she was very hurt. There is a high chance they will never come to my place, which is fine with me. I want to keep a distance with such people who gossip a lot and who are very negative about others. Being in such company has put me in huge danger. I have become quite cynical myself about relations. A slew of bad relations and I feel hurt and my trust has waned.

So, I had called the father, the mother and the daughter to inform abt hubby's new job. Not even one of the three called to wish him. I suddenly remembered that these people, who had called me a thousand times when they had work with me, never bothered to wish H. It felt rude. It showed their selfishness. I had been hearing time and again about their selfishness but never believed it but now I saw it first hand. I felt extremely resentful and angry. All their relations seem like transactions. Only if they have work they will call. H getting a job was a huge thing for us. No need to celebrate but if someone had been concerned at all, they would have called us to wish. I don't know why such thoughts come to my head. I have become polluted. I accept that. Earlier such thoughts would never come to my mind. Now I don't know what to do with such bad thoughts. I feel ashamed really. So, it took me a whole half a day to cool down. I understood how relations sour over time. We have so many grievances - instances when people take us for granted, when they do not respect us, when they try to cheat us, when they say hurtful words, etc. We spend a lot of time with people and those with whom we spend a lot of time, we will hurt them also. If we can love them as our own brothers and sisters and children and parents, we can forgive them. That's what I should do. I should just forgive and ask for forgiveness.

I thought of pointing it out to them, but at the insistence of divine intelligence dropped the crazy idea.
I then thought, I feel good only when I love people. I feel good when I am a nice person. I feel good when I am compassionate and forgiving. I will try hard to forgive them. That is the image I need to follow. It's an uphill struggle now. To have all these thoughts and misgivings and yet become a Buddha. Meanwhile Guruji has left a beautiful quote for me. Thanks Guruji!

Don't concern yourself with the faults of others. Use the scouring powder of wisdom to keep the rooms of your own mind bright and spotless. By your example, other persons will be inspired to do their own housecleaning.

Paramahansa Yogananda

So, in the upcoming wedding, I should put up a nice act..better still, be a nice person. 

New blogger I liked

Some posts from her.

http://thepoisedlife.com/882/poised-we-dont-stand-in-the-middle-of-the-road-and-get-run-over/

Sadhguru on the reptilian brain

Habits and identities or image

It's fascinating to read some of Reuben's posts.
http://www.gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2014/07/finding-it-hard-to-change-a-habit-maybe-this-explains-why/

I think this applies to me too.
I always wanted to be someone who is polite, warm and caring, respects people and never hurts people. I did not like to have confrontations.
Many times I hesitated to tell people they were wrong or tell them that they hurt me. I was ok to be an idiot. I was ok to be a victim.

But now I think I want a different identity for myself. I want to be someone's who's strong and assertive, confident, well planned, not too emotionally plagued, yet someone who should not be messed with or taken advantage of, who is still kind and caring and warm and welcoming, who can argue and still be friends.

So, this is the image I am working towards.

Virtues

In this constant battle, one of the recurrent themes is virtues.
Time and again, my mom feels extremely bad that I am this simple and not cunning. It's almost like she hates me having good qualities :-)
After a recent episode when someone took huge advantage of us (which I knew they were doing) - I had to analyze this theme again. What does it mean, in today's world, to be caring, hospitable and generous.
After a lot of thinking I felt - God has actually endowed me with good qualities. In this world - these qualities don't hold value nowadays. People praise you if you're selfish, cunning or opportunistic. My own family unknowingly promotes these qualities in us. But, that does not mean these people are right. Don't we know of cases where masses approved of horrendous behaviour? Just because the mass approves, does not mean that is good.

So, I am going to continue holding these qualities. I shall feel proud about it. If someone tells me I am a fool, I'm gonna just take it without feeling hurt.

Balancing your passion for work while demanding a good pay

A heartfelt article, which U truly second.
http://www.passionatereason.com/2014/06/writing-like-hemingway-for-sweatshop.html

Startling discoveries

I had already talked abt personality spilling and transformation and old and new structures. These are fascinating discoveries in themselves.
Actually I dug and found more!
http://paadhiyogi.blogspot.in/2014/05/the-axis.html
http://paadhiyogi.blogspot.in/2014/05/knowing-how-far-you-actually-progressed.html
(It's interesting that I have repeated the same thing, so unknowingly in multiple posts! Atleast shows I'm consistent)

It would be most appropriate to add a course in Jungian psychology at this point of time. I could atleast get a degree in psychology or neuroscience as these are 2 things I have been reading a lot about. Anyway - philosophy, psychology and science are all just different microscopic versions towards the same final goal.

Actually one could get so fascinated by these phenomena that they may not make progress but just sit and admire what a complicated piece of machinery or creation (if I may call so) we are.. our conditioning, beliefs, values, our emotional baggages - the vasanas and skandhas.. the unconscious mind - all are beautiful entities in themselves.

But, the real painful part is transformation. I don't know how many people work hard towards transformation. The problem with me is, I have an unwantedly huge conscience and most people manage with just 1% conscience. A conscientious man cannot sleep well. It's an acknowledged truth.
People who are brutally honest with themselves are not as happy day to day as people with unrealistic assumptions about their abilities.
-David McRaney in You Are Now Less Dumb (this is called the self-enhancement bias).

I totally agree with this. The only reason most people are so happy is ignorance. If they were to see their flaws day in and day out their conscience would kill them. Just because I keep looking at my negatives and try to improve myself, I may look stupid. If I behaved like an ostrich and refuse to acknowledge my flaws, I would feel extremely superior about myself. It's important to acknowledge one's flaws but it's wrong to let that pull you down. You just treat it as something that needs improvement rather than look at yourself as imperfect or as a failure. That attitude is bad. It leads to self hatred and self hatred is the mother of all problems.

This is where I fit in. I have no clue why I expect myself to be perfect, free of flaws. So mistakes done by me are not tolerated. I really don't need enemies. My mind is more than enough. It can make the "real" me a villain, a victim or whatever pleases it. My mind does not tolerate any mistakes. So it has accumulated a whole lot of pain body. Every cell in my body probably undergoes enormous pain.
So, the body itself is in fight or flight mode mostly. I can sense it... a stiffness.. an inability to be free, an inability to laugh child like, an inability to be at ease. Unless you feel at ease and a free flow of energy happens, you're done. So, that's the major thing that needs working. I think a very unconscious childhood, lack of mentors and close friends in early life, unknown negative conditioning by my society - all have led to certain wrong beliefs that have killed the spontaneity. I think I was on the right path, with the right mix of curiosity, courage and innocence. That is the perfect formula for life...to be adventurous.. to love.. and then somewhere society caught up with me, influenced me with "fear", "fear of failure", "societal norms" and dumbed me down and made me dead. All I want now, is to just feel alive. Get back to the same old me.. be a little courageous.. take some risk...love freely.. love myself however I am.. take failures lightly.. work persistently and constantly improve.
 
There are some deep patterns in us that will take forever to change. In the meanwhile we need to ensure that the old habits do not get a chance to rise their head. If you keep triggering the old self frequently you'll take forever to change.

We keep a linked list for every event, every person and the sound of the person can trigger a million thoughts and if you have a million nodes for that person it's no longer just the mind - your body recognizes the person and responds automatically - let's say you see your mother after a long time. Your body, physical cells recognize the loving person in front of you.

I recently spoke to 2 of my girlfriends, both of who had had a bitter breakup. They had somehow gone to their exes facebook page and found that their ex had gotten married. It triggered a huge downspiral for both of them. Here - the mind is nowhere in picture. You see your ex's pic and the body remembers. The mind doesn't have to think. The damage is already done. Supporting evidence:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/sadhguru/masters-words/the-body-remembers-all/

Based on a couple of sources, here is what I feel:
We know for sure that the mind influences and drives the body. Evolution tries to automate many things. We were a single celled amoeba. We probably needed to do some steps often and frequently. So, evolution automated it for you. Today the most important things for survival are breathing, proper blood circulation, digestion, etc. Evolution of humans - or nature, has automated these for us, because if we screw up, we lose our lives. All essential stuff and those that require fast response are automated, pretty much like today's computer networks and complex systems. Look at a habit.. something that we do in autopilot mode.. are we conscious at all? There have been so many times that I have reached my destination without a clue how I drove. There is certain intelligence here - a primitive intelligence - which happens without conscious mind usage.
It did the thing for me. It maybe the subconscious mind or the physical body. I don't know.. But the thoughts and emotions feed some entity who is more faster than the mind, who responds so fast that there is no auto correction or rationalizing possible. Also, that entity knows the triggers which is why going to some places or seeing some people, automatically puts us in a bad mood or shuts you down. I think your cerebral cortex gets cut off so that you cannot use your intelligence to recover from the bad situation. The reaction happens so unconsciously that you don't even know what hit you. This is why mindfulness is such an important part of Buddhism. It makes sense. You notice what is happening and when you notice more you know the reason.. the causes for such triggers and then you can reason out and bring in change. This seems like a very interesting and important theory. It explains why marketers can successfully make fools of us by placing succinct messages or pictures.. it proves the decisions we make on the go - how we choose to cut through traffic when traffic is high, how we behave when our guards are low, how we make instant choices at the grocery store or shopping mall and later regret. A lot seems to be programmed and the loophole is what marketers use to trick the rational person in us.

Below is a small body of work which may prove the above.

Osho:
Intellect is the functioning of the head, instinct is the functioning of your body, and intuition is the functioning of your heart.

The body cannot rely on your intellect, because the body has to live. That's why all essential functions of the body are in the hands of instinct--for example, breathing, heartbeat, digestion of your food, circulation of the blood. A thousand and one processes are going on inside your body in which you have no part at all. And it is good that nature has given body its own wisdom. Otherwise, if your intellect were to take care of the body, life would have been impossible! Because sometimes you may forget to breathe--at least in the night, how will you breathe while you are asleep? You are already so confused just with thoughts; in this confusion, who will take care about the blood circulation, whether the right amount of oxygen is reaching your cells or not? Whether the food that you are eating is being analyzed into its basic constituents, and those basic constituents are sent where they are needed? And this whole, tremendous amount of work is done by instinct. You are not needed. You can remain in a coma; still the body will continue to work.

Nature has given all essential functions of your body to instinct, and it has left all that makes your life meaningful

Blink:
Blink is a book about how we think without thinking, about choices that seem to be made in an instant-in the blink of an eye. Blink is about the first two seconds of looking--the decisive glance that knows in an instant. The key is to rely on our "adaptive unconscious"--a 24/7 mental valet--that provides us with instant and sophisticated information to warn of danger, read a stranger, or react to a new idea. Marketers can manipulate our first impressions, high arousal moments make us "mind blind". He presents examples where the mind works based on biases that don't necessarily enter the realm of conscious thought, but are nevertheless there (age, race, height, and so on).

What Gladwell probably states here could be that there is an automatic mechanism to respond to events. It probably does not involve the conscious mind or conscious thought. Something mechanical.

Eckhart Tolle:
The pain-body is a live entity. It's a semi-autonomous energy form that lives in most human beings.It has its own primitive intelligence, not unlike a cunning animal, and this intelligence is directed at its survival.

The mammal brain and reptilian brain:
Many human behaviors originate in the reptilian brain.

• obsessive-compulsive behavior
• personal day-to-day rituals and superstitious acts
• slavish conformance to old ways of doing things
• ceremonial re-enactments
• obeisance to precedent, as in legal, religious, cultural, and other matters
• responding to partial representations (coloration, "strangeness," etc.), whether alive or inanimate
• and all manner of deception

An enormous change took place as mammals evolved from reptiles, the mammalian brain containing organs {11, 12}:

• For the automatic control of body functions such as digestion, the fluid balance, body temperature and blood pressure (autonomic nervous system, hypothalamus)
• For filing new experiences as they happen and so creating a store of experience-based memories (hippocampus)
• For experience-based recognition of danger and for responding to this according to past experience. And for some conscious feelings about events (amygdala)

We saw that with the mammalian brain emerged feelings such as attachment, fear and anger and associated behavioral response patterns. And human emotional responses depend on neuronal pathways which link the right hemisphere to the mammalian brain {4} which in turn is linked to the even older reptilian brain.

MacLean argued that all the old structures are active in determining behavior, and that from these different-but-connected brains come not only different behaviors, but also many of the problems human beings face every day.

Human behavior is similar to behavior observed in animals because it arises from those parts of the brain system, like the reptilian brain, that humans and animals share. 

====================================================================

Related: Evolution, instinct, adaptive unconcious, habits, auto pilot, cerebral cortex (reptilian, mammal brain).

“The pain-body is a semi-autonomous energy-form that lives within most human beings, an entity made up of emotion.  It has its own primitive intelligence, not unlike a cunning animal, and its intelligence is directed primarily at survival. - See more at: http://livingwithtolle.com/podcasts/lwt34-anxiety-depression-pain-body-tolle/#sthash.9g8URhpB.dpuf

“The pain-body is a semi-autonomous energy-form that lives within most human beings, an entity made up of emotion.  It has its own primitive intelligence, not unlike a cunning animal, and its intelligence is directed primarily at survival. - See more at: http://livingwithtolle.com/podcasts/lwt34-anxiety-depression-pain-body-tolle/#sthash.9g8URhpB.dpuf

"past emotional pain alive in your life today". It is a living entity or energy field and like a parasite, it stays alive through feeding on your energy. Without your energy and attention, it would starve.
- See more at: http://www.personal-development-inside-out.com/eckhart-tolle.html#sthash.D69gYp3h.dpuf

"past emotional pain alive in your life today". It is a living entity or energy field and like a parasite, it stays alive through feeding on your energy. Without your energy and attention, it would starve.
- See more at: http://www.personal-development-inside-out.com/eckhart-tolle.html#sthash.D69gYp3h.dpuf

"past emotional pain alive in your life today". It is a living entity or energy field and like a parasite, it stays alive through feeding on your energy. Without your energy and attention, it would starve.
- See more at: http://www.personal-development-inside-out.com/eckhart-tolle.html#sthash.D69gYp3h.dpuf

"past emotional pain alive in your life today". It is a living entity or energy field and like a parasite, it stays alive through feeding on your energy. Without your energy and attention, it would starve.
- See more at: http://www.personal-development-inside-out.com/eckhart-tolle.html#sthash.D69gYp3h.dpuf

Purpose of your life and events

All the things you pursue - music, art, science - all that you love - every relation - everything in the world exists to make you know yourself - a part of yourself - a strength - a quality - that was always there in you!

All the things that we experience whose purpose we do not know, is to introduce you to yourself.
We're not aware of our potentials. Work not to achieve or be something special, but so that you can be revealed to yourself.
When you transcend the - I can't - you flower.
Use denial, use loss, use pain, loss of support - to transcend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvRbcSO6mH0

Does the body have a mind?

I have been wondering. There have been times when my body has acted on its own.
In situations which it perceives as a threat it freezes. It goes tight and I start behaving differently.

So, let's say I am meeting a person I do not trust or appreciate, my body automatically behaves in a fight mode. I cannot empathise with that person. Even in a bodily way I treat them as a threat - an enemy. I have never observed this earlier but nowadays I do. Our fears and emotions get deeply embedded in the body. When the response is this physical, this automatic even I - my rational thinking mind has no power. The power of the body's response is so high compared to the mind. The mind doesn't have any power and speed when the body reacts this way.

So, I googled the mind body connection and found this. So apt.

A book by Deb Shapiro:

"All your thoughts and feelings get translated into chemicals that fire off throughout your body, altering the chemical composition and behavior of your cells." ~ Deb Shapiro

If you have ever wondered how emotions affect the body, then "Your Body Speaks Your Mind" is an excellent place to start. Not only will you be able to understand your symptoms, you will also know how to eradicate them. This book contains many answers, especially to the following questions:

How do neuropeptides carry information from the mind to the body?
Do all diseases have their origin in the mind?
How do unresolved emotions affect your health?
Why are certain feelings linked to specific body parts?
What are the specific steps you can take to heal the body with your mind?

Your emotions and past experiences affect your body.
Your mind is reflected in every part of the body.
Loneliness, sadness, depression affect your body as much as happiness, hopefulness and optimism can.
Every part of the body is the mind expressing itself through that part.
All your thoughts and feelings get translated to chemicals that fire off throughout your body altering the chemical composition and behaviour of the cells.
Your body takes clues from your mind and language is the path.

So, though I have known these through word of mouth I will consciously pay attention to my emotions, thoughts, feelings and beliefs and how they affect my body.

Some more info from http://www.wakingtimes.com/2015/02/09/mind-body-not-separate/

Our energy, experiences, emotions or beliefs can get energetically stored within the body. 
Our thoughts, body, emotions and feelings are all energy related.

Also http://www.thelawofattraction.com/are-you-in-control-of-your-frequency/
Science shows that everything is made up of energy and vibrates at a certain frequency.
Words carry a vibration. If your words are negative, the vibration will be negative.

The old and new person

It is very evident now. The existence of 2 structures within me. The old, sad, wimpy, victim kind of soft person and the new assertive, bit aggressive, non adjusting kind of person.
So, when the new structures are enforced I can see the old me screaming and shouting and saying "No, what you're doing is wrong. You need to be more polite".

So, there is conflict between the old structure and the new. It will happen for sometime. Till then interaction with people is getting painful.. especially people who are not in my inner circle. I don't feel like being among people whom I do not trust, w ho do not care for me, who see me as weak. I am no mood to compromise. I feel irritated in such company.

It's fascinating.. When you deeply introspect and see these things, you're amazed. Reminds me again of Eckhart. When the old structures no longer serve the purpose a huge transformation happens.

The circle of life by Osho

Osho talks beautifully about how we start with breath and end with breath!
breath->thirst->hunger->physical activity->sex->intelligence, mental activity->love->beauty, art,aesthetics->breath.
http://www.oshoworld.com/osho_talk/talks/treas409.asp

Loss of enthusiasm!

The nature of questioning serves as a point of departure in this terse but far-reaching philosophical essay. With the help of set theory and Kierkegaard, the link between inquiry, knowledge, belief, and enthusiasm is revealed. On some level this exposition might be viewed as a lesson in spirituality for the skeptical and/or scientifically-minded.

Periodically the enthusiasm with which we exist seems to fade away for no reason. What was invigorating yesterday appears eerily empty today. The fact that enthusiasm can disappear so quickly and without warning is a cause of much anxiety. When such a disappearance occurs we are left uncertain not only of our path in existence, but also of our beliefs about existence itself. Generally this circumstance is perceived to be negative or undesirable. However, it is actually beneficial in that it forces us to reexamine the path we have chosen as well as the beliefs guiding that path. The periodic disappearance of enthusiasm is analogous to a reset mechanism in consciousness, and is effectively a recurring phase of existence characterized by our lapsing into a lower state of mind.

from:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EBRN7HG

Living on the physical plane

I was wondering...why it's sometimes so hard and difficult to deal with the events that happen in a day.

Take up traffic - when someone cuts through wrongly or drives extremely carelessly - why do we fume?
Why are we anxious about meeting people sometimes?
Why do we stay locked up when we have failed?
Why do we need to have better paying and prestigious jobs than others?
Why do we want our children to be prodigies?

When I analyze a lot of our behaviour it seems that we feel great only when we are "one up" on people. We want to feel superior to people in most ways - better job, better car, better house and then - better health, great body, good looks, etc. We feel a little bad if we are with people who seem too much above us.

Unknown to us, we do so much to just stay ahead. Right from the way we drive to our jobs to the things we do unconsciously, we do so much to stay on top.

Despite all my spiritual teachings, I do find myself trapped with this bug. There is a huge need to feel superior - to prove. Jealousy, comparison, insecurity, greed, etc.
I guess when you're in the physical plane, we are all driven by a common set of motives. Probably it is extremely difficult  to break out of that conditioning. Somewhere Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest acquires new dimensions and meanings on the physical plane.

But when you look at Tao, Zen, Buddhism, etc it seems that everything that you value on the physical plane is absolutely detrimental to your mental plane. If we're ambitious and competitive how can we be compassionate? How can we be greedy and content? Does this regular life condition us and damage us so much that we have no chance of looking at a higher dimension?

Also, very apt words from Sadhguru:
Physicality means separation, boundaries. Spirituality means unity, boundlessness. - Sadhguru

Associated books that may help:
http://www.amazon.com/Status-Anxiety-Alain-De-Botton/dp/0375725350/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404716698&sr=8-1&keywords=status+anxiety
http://www.amazon.com/Pleasures-Sorrows-Work-Vintage-International/dp/0307277259/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1GRJ4EGXMQ0Z3T7AFMWQ

Football lessons

 

"If football has taught me anything it is that you can overcome anything if, and only if, you love something enough"

- Lionel Messi

Mind cannot fulfil .. It makes empty promises

"Are you not tired enough with the mind? Then retire! Has not the mind done enough? Has the mind not created enough chaos in you? Why are you clinging to it? What hope, what promise, makes you cling to it? It has been deceiving you continuously. It said, ‘There – that goal, in that possession, in that house, in that car, in that woman, in those riches – is everything.’ And you moved, and when you reached, nothing came into your hands except frustration. Every expectation led you to frustration. Every desire became in the end a sorry affair, a sadness resulted.


Are you ready to live without hope? Are you ready to live without the future? Then simply there is no need to retire; the mind retires itself. Then there is no clinging with the mind. But you are afraid. You cannot live without promises, you cannot live without hope – this is the mechanism.

"Why not leave hoping? Why do you hope? What is the basis of it? Discontent becomes hope; this is the disguise – because here and now you are so much in discontent, so much in misery, that you need some hope in the future. That hope will help you to move. You can somehow tolerate the present; through hoping, you can tolerate the present; hope is anesthesia. The present is miserable, painful; hope is alcoholic, it is a drug, it makes you unconscious enough so you can tolerate the present. 

"Hope means here and now there is discontent. But have you ever looked at the whole phenomenon? Why are you discontented here and now in the first place? Why? – Because you hoped in the past, that’s why here and now you are in discontent. This today was tomorrow yesterday. Yesterday you hoped for today because it was tomorrow then. Now that hope is not fulfilled, so you are in misery, frustrated. And to hide this misery, to somehow pass today, you are again hoping for the tomorrow. 

mind cannot fulfill.

yesterday mind promised you that something is going to be delivered to you tomorrow. Now the tomorrow has come, it is today, and the mind has not delivered. You are in misery, your expectations are frustrated. Now the mind says, ‘Tomorrow I am going to deliver. The mind again promises. And what type of stupidity is this that you again listen to the mind? And tomorrow the same mechanism will be repeated – it is a vicious circle. 

"You listen to the mind, you become miserable, otherwise, this today is paradise! And there is no other paradise, this today is nirvana. If you had not listened to the mind… Just don’t listen to the mind, then you are not in misery because misery cannot exist without expectations and without hopes. And when misery exists you need more hopes for it, to hide it, to live somehow. Live hopelessly – then you are a religious man, then you are retired." Osho

Human response to threat situations

Wonderful articles:
http://www.strategicleadershipinstitute.net/news/you-might-not-like-it-but-bad-is-stronger-than-good/
http://www.strategicleadershipinstitute.net/news/neuroleadership-how-your-brain-fights-for-social-survival-in-the-workplace/