Never say never...

Yes, I realized it a while ago.
I have been restless for a while and that is spilling into all aspects of social life and interactions.
I am unable to fathom what is causing it.
1) To some extent I think it's the fear of running out of money and getting into trouble. I don't think I want to face it, though we've done it before. I don't want to get to that state.
2) I think I am going nowhere. My gym, my pursuing passion - etc.. are not giving immediate results. I have found a huge bracket of things to do.
My major interest is observing human behaviour. This is what most authors and poets do.
I could pursue sociology.
To complement that, I could also pursue history, mythology, philosophy.
I want to read the vedantas.
I want to also read about education - child education.

http://www.annauniv.edu/MediaScience/programmes3.html
http://www.ignou.ac.in/ignou/aboutignou/school/soss/programmes/detail/124/2
http://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/teaching/msc/courseinfo.cfm
http://www.lse.ac.uk/philosophy/Study/mastersprogrammes/mscpss.aspx
http://www.ignou.ac.in/ignou/aboutignou/school/soitds/programmes/detail/508/3
http://www.ignou.ac.in/ignou/aboutignou/school/soss/programmes/detail/121/2
http://symbiosiscollege.edu.in/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=137&Itemid=118

I want to do reading and writing as a hobby. Any of the above courses would entail a lot of writing. I have no idea why I read so less. (novels). I love short stories. Novels demand too much time and they are filled with useless details - for me. I like plots but I don't like empty pages that are just added to make big books. Also, I have read some novels which I did not like - which deterred me from reading further - Midnight's children, A Museum of innocence, Shantaram.


The whole purpose of art is to make life beautiful - as escapism from reality - from the mundaneness of everyday life.. from the dullness.. from the lack of new things (debatable).
An artist is one who views the same thing you and I do, with different eyes and present it to us in a beautiful form - paintings, poetry, music, movies, drama or literature.

So, back to restlessness. I want to do something and achieve results - in order to keep going. If I pursue literature I need to be in hibernation for 10 years atleast. I don't have the luxury of that much time and money, why I say time - because I may go mad. I am already mad now..because I want to start producing. Last 2 years I have been in silence or been consuming things. I want to produce now. Either I buy a farm and do some plantation.. or do something that yields fruits and flowers :-)
I am eager to contribute. We all forget that the month end paycheck is a form of success.. It's an achievement.. an acknowledgement delayed by a month. I need that.. not the paycheck but appreciation and acknowledgement. Right now whatever I am doing, it's in silent mode. I have nothing to show.. nothing to be cheered for.. nothing worthy of appreciation. If I take the long route of literature I need to have the patience of 10 years, before I see some appreciation. I don't know if I have that energy and courage.

My courage is dwindling - not my convictions. I should do a day job which gives me some amount of satisfaction. I should also pursue the above said things so that after 2 years when I feel like taking a break - I have something to pursue.. and maybe following up on these, on long term along with a job will get me somewhere.. I don't know. It looks as if someone is playing a game with me. I am no longer in control of my thoughts. Someone is driving my thoughts and driving me crazy. They don't let me rest in peace. They plant so many thoughts - contradictory ones.. One says - just stay and home and work peacefully for the next 10 years.. you will produce something great for sure.
Another says - no.. you have to take a job. You don't have the money to sustain.
What a life? It's leela - someone's leela for sure!

So, I guess over the next few days, I will brood, dust my algorithms and C books and start picking up.

The Happiest Words in the English Language solicited

Schott has asked for the "happiest" and "sadest" words :-) Abt Schott.

About Schott's Vocab

Schott’s Vocab is a repository of unconsidered lexicographical trifles — some serious, others frivolous, some neologized, others newly newsworthy. Each day, Schott's Vocab explores news sites around the world to find words and phrases that encapsulate the times in which we live or shed light on a story of note. If language is the archives of history, as Emerson believed, then Schott’s Vocab is an attempt to index those archives on the fly.

Ben Schott is the author of “Schott’s Original Miscellany,” its two sequels, and the yearbook “Schott’s Almanac.” He is a contributing columnist to The Times’s Op-Ed page. He lives in London and New York.

His Web site can be viewed at benschott.com, and his Opinion pieces here.

Funny anecdotes from BLF

WD was taking about how Rushdie lives on in the US on a "culture" visa and how he (WD) needs to arrange for accreditation as a journalist to stay in India. I hope our government begins a culture visa program too. (Shashi Kolar - https://www.facebook.com/shashi.kolar.7)

From Farah: https://www.facebook.com/farah.dailystar
Day 2 at the Bangalore Lit Fest has been hectic, eventful and in parts, rather wonderful. One of the highlights, for me, was the session with the amazing novelist Shashi Deshpande (onstage alongside two best-selling authors and two publishers, as part of a discussion ably moderated by Karthika). I especially loved Shashi's response to all the conventional wisdom about the necessity of social media hype for authors, tracking sales through spreadsheets etc, making sure your story 'hook' was up by page 12/18/36/whatever, and the various horror stories about authors who send laddoos to book-store staff, and buy up thousands of copies of their own books in order to beat the numbers game and make it to the best-seller lists. She spoke out robustly, pointing out that she DIDN'T use social media, and had never even sent anyone laddoos, *let alone* bought copies of her own books to boost sales - and yet people were still buying her books! Yay for those writers who just write so beautifully that people buy their books because of their talent rather than their social media profile/performance skills Another highlight for me came while I was lining up to have her new book signed by Shashi-ji, and someone actually approached *me*, while I was in the queue, to sign a book for them, following it up with an impassioned feedback on my panel earlier in the day!

In fact, our panel - supported by HIMAL Southasian - was surprisingly lively and well-attended, especially given that it coincided with not only lunchtime, but also a simultaneous panel of very talented Indian writers, which I would have liked to have attended myself! The five of us onstage represented Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka and Pakistan, and our moderator was there as, in her words, the token Indian! Some interesting issues were raised in the discussion on "The South Asian Voice: Writing for Ourselves": among other things, on who defines identity (Ashok Ferry from Sri Lanka said that he considers nationalism anathema to creativity), how the wider issues in the region impact individual countries (Babar Ayaz talked about the politics of terrorism and his book "What's Wrong with Pakistan?") and who writers write for as an audience (I suggested that it might be best to write for oneself, and think about who might want to read it afterwards ).

The atmosphere at the festival today was lovely - the fragrance of freshly-spun cotton candy mingling with deshi street food (phuchka, different kinds of chaat, dosas etc), people scattered over the emerald green lawns listening intently to their chosen set of panellists while a gentle breeze took the edge off the unseasonal heat, eager questioning - and occasional fireworks - from the audiences, and children running around with broad grins on their faces and books in their hands, while smiling adults browsed through their own recently-purchased treasures. Wish you were all here! 

=======================================================================

Day 3 at the Bangalore Lit Fest ended on a distinctly high note. Some of the highlights of this festival (for me) have included the following:

Sessions where you were given important insights into the minds of authors - albeit not always the kind of insights you might have expected. For example, at a panel of the crime and fantasy writers, Anita Nair revealed that her preferred method of knocking someone off would be cooking them a mushroom omelette; Madhulika Liddle went wider and more non-specific, perhaps in order to insure against the discovery of future sins, saying simply that she would go for a plant-based method - perhaps something like oleander, widely available and highly effective; but the wickedly funny Nilanjana S Roy as usual took the cake, saying that as an animal-lover, she favoured feeding enemies to the crocodiles at the ghariyal reserve near her home - thereby making the animals happy *and* getting rid of the evidence

Spot-on observations were forthcoming from Ashok Vajpeyi, who said that literary festivals are an easy way of making writers feel important and noticed - and that this is particularly helpful, given that most authors' sense of unimportance is so deep that the opportunity to participate in a lit fest provides an important morale booster! William Dalrymple took this argument even further, helpfully pointing out that authors are also cheap, relative to say rock stars, since they will come to a lit fest just for the opportunity of being heard, and without expectations of significant remuneration

One of the nicest things in Bangalore was meeting old friends, making an unexpected number of new friends, and crossing paths with Facebook friends, family friends, friends of friends and *relatives* of friends! This might go down as the friendliest festival yet

Add to that opportunities such as the meeting with Lavanya Sankaran, whose book "The Red Carpet" I read and loved years ago, and hitting it off with her unexpectedly well - or realising that Jahnavi Barua whose novel I just bought on a whim, is in fact the author of an excellent collection of short stories "Next Door" I read and loved a couple of years ago - and the serendipity factor at BLF will become apparent.

My one objection is that we were lured here with promises of 'salubrious' weather, and it has been insalubriously warm, not least today! But to complain about that would be utterly graceless, so I must let it pass. Besides, the heat gave me some of the most memorable mental 'snapshots' of the day: the little girl sitting spellbound under one of the canopies with her parents, while her father read to her from a new book (presumably part of her festival haul); the people sitting happily with their delicious snacks under a tree with heavy foliage and dense lower branches hanging some three feet above the ground, thereby ensuring coolness for those who sought shelter underneath it; and a young mother with a lovely three year old boy, sitting on the grass with their paper plates of chhola batura and dosas, and conversing animatedly with each other about the activities at the festival Thank you, BLF, for all of this!

My milk talks to me

You can hear my grandma crib most of the days - about the same problem. I leave the milk to boil, forget it and it dries and gets burnt!

Nowadays, that does not happen. Why? I have developed a strange love affair for everything in my kitchen (especially food). So, they all seem to care for me. When the milk has boiled sufficiently long it hisses to me with its smell. It's like "Come come.. time's up. I'm ready". So, never once has that black milk phenomenon happened again. It looks like the things I pay attention to and care for, care back! They let their presence be felt! They aid me everyday. It's a nice symphony between us.

Light music and classical music

I was wondering why I can appreciate film music more than the concert music.
I don't know music, is that the reason? Is it that my mandatory 10,000 hrs have not gone in? What is the reason?
I then remembered Chetan Bhagat Vs Classics. Some art is simplified for the masses. You start with simple, due your due diligence and evolve to complex. So, maybe someday I will understand classic/ concert music.

Meanwhile, read this funny but insightful article.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/richard-dare/classical-music-concerts_b_1525896.html


But this was classical music. And there are a great many "clap here, not there" cloak-and-dagger protocols to abide by. I found myself a bit preoccupied -- as I believe are many classical concert goers -- by the imposing restrictions of ritual behavior on offer: all the shushing and silence and stony faced non-expression of the audience around me, presumably enraptured, certainly deferential, possibly catatonic; a thousand dead looking eyes, flickering silently in the darkness, as if a star field were about to be swallowed by a black hole.
I don't think classical music was intended to be listened to in this way. And I don't think it honors the art form for us to maintain such a cadaverous body of rules.

To begin with, like many living composers, Beethoven was not universally understood or even particularly well liked -- nor did he care to be. Of his Third Symphony, the Eroica, critics who attended the 1805 premier wrote, "If Beethoven continues on this path, both he and the public will come off badly. Music could quickly come to such a point that everyone will leave the concert hall with only unpleasant feelings of exhaustion."

To his contemporaries, the sheer primal suspense in the Third was deliberately jacked up to such an unbearable degree that by measure 394 the first horn famously goes berserk, acting out the listener's agony of expectation by breaking in on the violins prematurely. So unprecedented and unruly was this bold psychological stroke that it was at first mistaken, even by the composer's close friends, for a sort of prank. His pupil Ferdinand Ries, thinking a blunder had been made, cried out, "Can't the damned horn player count?!" for which he came pretty close to receiving a sharp box on the ear.
Beethoven, it turns out, was not a follower of tradition. And no one was expected to keep quiet during his performances either. The music was much too wild, too complex, too dramatic and demanding. If it was gauche, the audience complained or praised at will just as they do today in non-classical concert experiences.

Nowadays, however, Beethoven it seems in spite of all his revolutionary fervor has along with the whole kit-and-caboodle of classical music become something of a rather dull commodity -- so perfect in every way that his music displays not really greatness or excitement anymore, but (I am sad to report) only "packaged greatness." Smugness, dullness, an over abundance of ritualism ... everything, in fact, that Beethoven hated.

One step therefore we might take to make classical music less boring again is simply for audiences to quit being so blasted reverential.
The most common practices in classical musical venues today represent a contrite response to a totalitarian belief system no one in America buys into anymore. To participate obediently is to act as a slave. It is counter to our culture.

The living composers I know though are real people. They bleed just like the rest of us -- or more accurately stated, because they are artists willing to put their thoughts into action for our review and criticism, they bleed publicly for us. They drink beers and feel tired and ride subways and dream about a better life. They are human and they want us to share a deeper, richer human experience together with them. They want, in effect, the same things Beethoven wanted. 

Perhaps it's because of trying to keep classical music audiences living in the dark, in perpetual fear that they might not understand the secret and elite codes of long-term insiders, brainwashing core subscribers into an irrational hatred of anyone who dares to disrupt their peace-and-quiet even if accidentally, regimenting the experience with a coerced and inculcated rigidity that would be abhorrent to any composer worth his or her salt: This is how we have made classical music so awful.

Perhaps it's time to tell our own darling leaders to bug off and in place of their formalities simply allow ourselves to react to classical music with our hearts just as we do when we meet other forms of art. Classical music belongs to the audience -- to its listeners, not the critics, to the citizens, not the snobs.
Why not reclaim your music today?

Usha K.R and Shashi Deshpande

Some good interviews:
http://monideepa.blogspot.in/2011/02/conversations-with-usha-kr.html
http://readinghour.in/articles/issue1/interview/story.htm
http://www.museindia.com/viewarticle.asp?myr=2007&issid=11&id=562

I really liked the sincerity and depth of the interviews. They talk about their favourite authors, research, the bestseller thing, the agony of not reaching some readers, the pain of malicious interviews..

Gulzar saab and Rekha

Lovely anecdote from Gulzar saab: When he was working with Rekha on a movie she turned up very late to the sets. She came at 1 PM. The original director was ill and Gulzar saab played his role for a while. He thought, maybe she assumed that he would not be serious and hence did not turn up. Later when she arrived he asked her why she was late. She said "Can we have lunch first?". During lunch he probed her again and she reluctantly said "This is the first time I am working with you. On the way to the set I saw Aandhi playing in that theatre. Socha ki aapki kaam ki baare mein jaan loon pehele". He said she is one of the most honest people he's met.

Content

“The fountain of content must spring up in the mind…he who has so little knowledge of human nature, as to seek happiness by changing any thing but his own dispositions, will waste his life in fruitless efforts, and multiply the griefs which he purposes to remove.”
– Samuel Johnson, The Rambler, No. 6

BlrLitFest takeaways

So, I am pretty busy for the last 2 days.
The usual routine of cook, clean, wash, dry, sleep, gym, sleep has gone for a toss.
Not a single meal cooked. Yday husband cooked dinner though. No boiling milk! 
Of all the senses and organs, my stomach and head are revolting against this new routine.
I am unable to get a decent,soothing lunch - on time and my stomach revolts by giving me acidity, which is why I am awake at 2:00 AM despite having slept at 12!
My head is a little better off - it is solving the migraine on its own. It knows that it cannot burden me with this issue while I am soaking in Gulzaar saab and other literary figures.

Back to Lit Fest.
Saw and impressed by Gulzaar saab, Prasoon Joshi, Rakeysh, Farhan, Shashi Deshpande, Ashok Vajpayee, William Dalrymple, Nirmala Lakshman, Karthika.

Learnings:

1) As fans, do not take your fandom easily. When you buy an author - you're buying a part of the author's thoughts and the author. Read everything with care. If the author is incomprehensible or not to your taste, it's ok to leave it. But otherwise, read it with utmost care. It's with such care, reverence and attention that a good reader is born - one who understands what the author writes and what he has not written too! A good reader is essential basement for a good writer.
2) Be on time. Be punctual. Else skip (unless u got late due to extraordinary circumstances). Value time.
3) I am increasingly believing that authors find you... the book or poetry finds you... Just when I was feeling overwhelmed at how to complete so many profound authors.. and whether I will miss most of the canonical authors.. given the number.... and my own limitations at completing books - I got this thought. It's essential to make your foundation first. Learn to observe, think, analyze. Be philosophical. That's required for everything in life. Once you have a reasonable answer for who you are, what you like, why you act this way, etc - and a sound thinking/rational mind.. start exploring the world. It's ok to miss a few authors. Most people just observe the world in a new way. If the billion of us became good writers, how can we read each other, right? So, don't despair. The books that you have to read, will reach you. I firmly believe that. Do not fear missing out.

Can you believe? I bought a Gulzar saab's book yday. I was thinking ki, maybe on the last day, I will get it signed. I just opened the book and saw that it was already autographed! I was thinking - is it a printed autograph? I donno. I felt it was a miracle. Gulzaar saab in my house.. with me.. teaching me to read. I now believe in miracles and divine power of the cosmos and blessings of the great teachers and sages and divine people.
4) Plz don't forget the guru shishya parampara. Please respect your guru or your favourite author. Stand up when they come. Touch their feet. Cry for them. Never let them down.
5) It takes 10,000 or more hours of reading - to become an eligible writer. Forget "achieved" writer. Be willing to take that effort.
6) All accomplished artists are spiritual beings. Their art is meditative. They all write for different reasons, but they all put in their 100 or 200%.
7) Artists have pet peeves too! They mourn. They mourn the lack of discerning readers. They mourn the lack of publicity / readership for good books. They mourn the loss of local language. They feel bad when their books do not sell. Classics do not make money for the author. The author is dead before it churns money! In today's world of fake bestsellers, when mediocre writing fetches a fortune, their hearts cry.
8) Nobody wants to publish a dud but an unworthy candidate, through massive promotions, etc can be made a bestseller.
9) Do not focus on too many things. You achieve none. Decide a path and dedicate yourself to it. Do not allow yourself the luxury of distraction. In this world of internet, we're filled with distractions. We are losing time and focus. We're lost. Don't let that happen.
10) Beauty is a distraction (I mean physical beauty). Why are the page 3 here at the LitFest? I find it distracting. Till I overcome this weakness, I need to work on it.
11) Our physical form is quite limiting. I imagine Baradwaj Rangan to turn up in a particular way.. and look in one way. When he doesn't look like that, I am minorly disappointed. Sadhguru said - thank god, the dhyanalinga does not have a physical form, else we'll put so many prejudices and limitations on him. What if we never saw Gulzaar saab's face or Hariprasad ji's face and just their work? (Think the era of radio and newspaper only). How u felt when u saw them some day.. and in today, when they are all over youtube?
12) Secret of polymaths : How can these people excel in so many things? First - start by being a philosopher (I guess most of them have a divine gift pretty early on). Then focus on one interest, Master it. Pay it all ur attention. Be aware of yourself. Even peeling the skin of a carrot can lead to interesting poetry when done with utmost reverence to the art and attentively. That';s the only way to master an art form. When your foundation is strong, you can shift to other interests with ease. There are some basic principles to excelling at anything. They hold good across domains. It's when we do not make these foundations and get so wildly distracted that we stumble. I can see the same in my husband. He made a solid foundation. He pays huge attention to everything he does. So, I see him excelling in many things like - cooking, gardening, coding, singing, driving, etc. The principles are the same. He hardly reads fiction - he hardly reads.. but his basics have delivered him well.. Else, you'll be left wondering how he's such a genius. He uses every bit of time to think abt things, analyze, come up with the theory of working. You cannot read books abt how everything works. You'd go mad. You can observe.. think.. make your theory.. validate. If your interest level in it is high.. u dig deep. Else u skim the surface.. understand a bit and move on. You cannot dump ur brain with too many things. It's unproductive.
13) When you do something with utmost reverence, attention, enthusiasm, prepare your ground work well.. know ur audience and try to satisfy them - everything rubs off. That's how u engage an audience. William Dalrymple's sessions.. Gulzaar saab's sessions..Prasoon, Rakeysh, Shashi Deshpande  - all these people taught that. I was thinking why Grace hopper was such a dud.. People do not have that conviction.. the enthusiasm, the attachment - to what they are doing, When there is this disparity, it shows. The session flattens and bores you. Despite having a good panel, it flattens.. So don't do that. Do not do anything where u are not a 100%. On the other hand, do not give up. If 3 or the 4 panelists are driving away from the topic and making it tastless, u stick to the theme.. give it ur best, so that u can rest in peace. So, 3 people could have ruined ur day.. and ur session.. but u would have worked to save it, as much as you could.
14) You need to overcome the ego and obstacles. William, Nirmala and Anjum told how the initial JLF had just 4 people.. what a shame. no sponsors.. no audience.. and yet they continued with their conviction. Today, they have succeeded fairly, with JLF being a super duper hit! William mentioned being foolish abt inviting Rushdie n putting his name in print. It was heartening to note their mistakes, their agonies, etc. What happens behind the scenes.. probably tears them. They need a separate shield to protect themselves from these unwanted criticism.. and concentrate on their books.
Hats off! Learnt abt why many lit fests piggy back on JLF - authors from abroad want to cover India together and leave.. not come again and again.. Also each litfest has a different group of struggles.
Dailt writing too has so many takers. The venue of a lit fest is chosen for multiple reason - weekend travel being one of them!!!! Weather too plays an important role to choose a season.. Also chennai lit fest piggy backs on carnatic season! It's a given that some authors are good performers or are popular among crowds. The media does a shameful job of reporting. They report page 3 on lit fests, so much that people think that lit fests are a cocktail party! They do not cover minority artists...Shameful...Media shapes perceptions of the society and its shameful that such mediocre people work in the media and our perceptions are being shaped by horrible people. If we knew the right things abt a lit fest, we'd be enlightened  n encouraged to attend it!

15) Preserve the local language - Ashok Vajpayee, Navneeta, Gulzar. Middle class - confused class? In our race to ape the west and earn more.. we're losing everything. We have 50 yrs of unproductivity! No significant improvement in society! English - some say is an urban phenomenon. Rural people buy local books in millions - especially Patna! We shud expand the scope and breadth of a language. Give it more ground by imbibing the best in other languages. We shud not lose the language. because with language, a whole generation and many centuries of culture is lost forever!
Imagine english swallowing 700 Indian languages!
If our childhood is in english - our thoughts will be in english.. and our writing too. So, learn ur mother tongue.

"Our middle class is guilty of the biggest betrayal of their respective mother languages" Ashok Vajpeyi at #MysorePark #BlrLitFest

16) Ethical fashion. Don't go by trends. Buy handmade. Buy minimal clothes.
Khadi gave us this freedom so that we could abandon it to wear wool..Ironical. Hinduism is going thru the same trauma. We're giving us a religion which freed and empowered us.

17) Unknown parts of Delhi and mughalism. Why do we need foreigners to research n archive us so well? Don't we have the skill?
18) English is my skill like my computer skill - Hindi is my language - Prasoon!
19) Anytime is good to pick a new language.. I want to learn Hindi/ bit of urdu, Tamil, Assamese and Bengali (For Gulzaar saab, Mirza ghalib, Manto, Ashokamitran.
I want to keep the sahitya writers, etc from each language.. get a flavour of each language's greatest writers.
20) It's fascinating how - so many people could ruin a movie's vision. Rakeysh beautifully highlighted the essence of communication, how art is collaborative.. how art heals.. and how his vision needs to be carried by the lyricist, screenplay artist, the actors, the music, the editor! Hats off.. All of them - sharing a vision.. sharing a dream.. A movie is a lot of work compared to books! Solely because so many people can break the vision and dilute it.
21) Storytelling to children creates fertile imagination. There could be a 1000 chudels but if u show a TV program of chudel and say to ur child that it's a chudel, we'll be left with one chudel. We need to change with times..our story. Also grow with the child. Talk the same language to him as  u talk with ur other adults.
22) Did the poem create the poet or the poet created the poem?
Behnen hamesha badi hothi hai. Rakhi si dhaage se bada banna chahtha hoon.
Different moments encapsulated.. pregnant with other moments.
Ageing - greying - weighing more.
Dad vs Mom.. chup jaatha hoon maa ke liye.. chupatha hoon dad ke liye. Mom's world..vs Dad's world.
Whom I want to marry - not the king or goldsmith but the ironsmith who can break my chains and set me free.
Let the small girl grow slowly. Let her play with purple marbles. Let her wear her dupatta later, not now. Do not steal her childhood.
Terrorist: He would be ok if you stole his aam. He would be ok if you stole his kite/ manja. He will be upset but not angry. But u stole his childhood and changed his life forever.. How will he forgive?
You can use two languages, but stitch it in such a way that the seams do not show :-)
Fan: Sir, I carry u on my iPod everyday.
Gulzaar saab - Now, I know my real size!
Prasoon sings awesomely. Soulful music.
23) Indian movies and movie making, etc are not well archived.
24) Each writer has his/ her constraints. What time they can write, where they can write.. their need to get away from the writing.. and introspecting.. gestation period before writing.. Some of them fear travel.. they go thru the humane issues like all of us.
25) Art - is an escapism from the mundaneness of reality. Everyone's life is mundane.. but once in a while when u change ur lens and become an artist, you pen beautifully abt relations.. and people.. and the things around us. We imagine them in new light. We bring a different - beautiful/ enlightening perspective to mundane things. Art is necessary for life. We need this beauty to escape life! Wondering - if reality is grim for even the artists?
26) Ashoka mitran - I can pardon the standard of his writing - he wrote at a very early age (published) or 42! It's assumed that u can produce good works only when u retire! Have patience and pursue!
27) When u do ur job well - audience is automatically created.
28) There are the 10 bestsellers and 1.5 million - long tail of books - many of which are classics.. which don't sell much! Shashi - I just write, do my job well.. and work with my editor and I do not do anything for marketing.. and I am still here! She was hurt at Sanghi rattling off statistics of bestsellers like crazy - she said " I am going home". Loved the woman's conviction. Need to read her. Shoba De amused herself with some "playing to the gallery". I cannot take her seriously and Shoba if I shud have read some book of yours which I haven't u have urself to blame. Ian Jack - there isa lot of mourning in the publishing industry. I was amazed at how much effort and unwanted meetings I had to go through, in the name of marketing. I thought I had written and my job was done!
Shoba's only good point was - a french editor pointed out a glaring mistake where some character was mentioned in one page and never found closure or was forgotten ever after! Karthika proved to be a woman of strength too - talking for good editing, good writing and refusing to buy into bestsellers... Shoba was musing if authors will be sold like IPL cricketers. Sanghi said he's eager to see that day. Both of them disentangled themselves from serious readers.I have 2 less authors to read. Also Sanghi had some big XL sheet, tracked his target audience, and did funny things - things an author shud never be doing. I am sure Chetan and Amish and others have done this - manipulating the bestseller lists, buying reviews, buying their own books, posting on twitter etc. Cheap. Thanks for exposing yourself.
29) There can be a 1000 perspectives to the same thing - thats why we have so many authors. Accomplished, realized people do not compete. They co-exist. They root for others. They learn from newcomers. Gulzaar saab praised Prasoon so much! I was wondering, my parents never gave me a literary heritage but I can probably lead them in that path. Age is not a reflector of wisdom. You can learn from someone younger than you.
30)There are no permanent winners/ losers in history! Same with historians.
History went from being entertainment/literature focussing on hero worship to psychoanalysis / social science.
History - as it is - is tweaked by the government in power. So, the history books will look different if Congress is in power or versus when BJP is in power. Historians shud have no chauvinism abt idealogies, gender, history, etc. They shud be unbiased. They should not join politics.
31) I get literature and theatre better than music. Music is probably too refined and sophisticated for me. I get popular cine music but not other forms. So, I guess till I evolve I should keep patience. There will be a day when my music knowledge will ignite. Waise, most things have music to accompany work - sowing, reaping, etc. There is a raga for a mood/ season. How beautiful. How do they do it? How do they create this image of a pahadi atmosphere.. through music. When you hear a music, how do you feel? How do u imagine it? I want to sew the ragas into a mala and make something beautiful out of it.
32) The act of being in a lawn.. late at night.. a well lit lawn with some incomprehensible music flowing around.. with so many wonderful people for company.. was uplifting!

My busy 2 BHK life - greed, accumulation and other things

Yesterday I faced many obstacles on the way to the gym. (The gym is a km from my house.)
What obstacles? Cars... lots of cars.. parked haphazardly in lanes too narrow to hold them.. I observed how there was less road and more cars and bungalows. I was wondering, if we all were content with smaller houses, smaller cars and smaller vehicles, shop in smaller shops, we can handle the situation a bit better.

I was thinking, earlier most of us had small houses in the city. We never had a room for ourselves. I always wanted my privacy and longed for my own room. When I started earning and when I got married, I bought a decent 3 BHK in Hyderabad. It was not expensive. It's a 1540 sqft house. Big enough for me. Till day, I don't feel the need for a bigger house. Today, I stay in a 2BHK rented place. It's a tad too small for us with very less shelf space but it serves the purpose (It's amazing how 2 people have accumulated sooooooooo many things over 10 years. It took me 2 years to clear my 3BHK, throw things and pick only that which will fit into my 2BHK).

I have no complaints about my house. It's not my own. Doesn't matter. It's smaller and less decorous and less planned than my own house, but doesn't matter. It serves the purpose. Also it's located amidst parks and trees. Everyday I can see birds and trees from my favourite seating point. That is enough to cheer me. My kitchen overflows due to lack of cupboards and I am hesitant to pick up more furniture in the name of "organizing my kitchen". I feel it will be rendered useless if we have to shift somewhere.. I need to carry that unwanted burden.

Also, it is quite an effort to maintain this small house itself. When the maid goes on leave, I realize the trouble. Every once in a while, we need to dust, clean the curtains, the mosquito nets. The balconies need cleaning once every 2-3 days. The 2 bathrooms need cleaning atleast once a week. There are shelves in the balcony that need regular cleaning. The bedroom shelves need dusting and sorting. Paper work needs sorting. Medical files, official records.. need sorting. I sometimes hate this work though I do a good job at it. I wash clothes atleast 4 times a week. Many of my salwars are hand washed. They then go to the press guy to get pressed. Some go to the dry cleaner. Every week 2-3 times we get veggies. They need to be cleaned thoroughly, soaked in water, dried and packed into the fridge. Greens and coriander and mint are added worries. Since we want to eat healthy food, we take that pain but it is time consuming. For a couple of months when my in laws were here, that's all I was doing. Buying veggies, cleaning them, sorting them, cleaning the house, cooking, washing, drying, folding, checking things that need to be refreshed, buying groceries, going to the dry cleaners, picking pressed clothes, paying bills, buying medicines, doing some medical tests, taking them out, planning for the trips - booking hotels and train, reading abt the destination and noting important points, packing clothes and other essentials for the trip.. I did not read a thing useful. My life was just so busy just MAINTAINING a life and family. That itself is exhausting. It's unfair that housewives are neglected. It's so damn difficult to do the same things in a cycle and not feel exhausted. It's difficult planning breakfast each day. I break my head over it. Lunch and dinner are relatively easy but made difficult due to poor vegetable choices. My MIL was worried that I was picking beans and carrots everyday. That's what is available in the market. If you buy fruits you need to use them on time. Veggies also, need sorting and have to be used fresh. So I make a list of which veggies to use first. Then, after cooking - the kitchen needs cleaning. The dining table is set. The vessels reach the table. Then serve food. Eat, Then again clean. Whatever is left, store it in the fridge. Put the vessels for cleaning to the maid. Share food with her. Fill the water filter. (Now boil water too). Buy milk. Boil it on time lest it curdles. Make curd. Clear the fridge every now and then. Plan how to use some veggies. Plan how to use that little bit of rajma. Wash the husbands whites separately. Wash the utility clothes and dry. The polythenes need sorting. Milk covers and other plastics are washed thoroughly, dried and stored. Wash foot mats. Wash bedsheets and pillow covers. Change them every 10 days. If buckets are too dirty wash them. Recharge DTH. Pay taxes. Pay rent. Pay internet and phone bills (ok, online but I need to remember to pay right?) Pay the milkman, newspaper guy, car cleaner and maid each month. Pay society charges. If you have energy, call friends and family. Meeting is out of question - especially in Blore traffic. Go to the gym. Find time to meditate. Listen to some songs. Read something if you finally become free. Watch a little TV. This is a life.

The pots need watering and the soil needs changing - sometimes we need to deal with insects and plants which refuse to grow (not that I'm complaining. The flowers are a source of joy). The kitchen shelves need cleaning. There are tough oil stains. I've reduced my kitchen utensils to minimum so that I can manage well. I refuse to buy a big fridge though my current one is small. Why? Because if I buy a bigger fridge, I will find new things to stock it up with. And most of it will go waste as we're just 2 people. We don't use some things regularly. I think it's wise to go out and eat a dessert instead of buying expensive ingredients which we cannot finish...Sometimes we want to try our hand and create a nice dish, that's ok.. but it may not be the most cost effective as people say. You will have left over paneer or ricotta or balsamic or Parmesan. You have to either make a dish again or throw it away. It's happened many times. Also, since many of these are imported the costs are very high. The effective cost of the dish you cooked, goes up very high. Restaurants are able to keep costs low due to volume and as they source from vendors are cheaper rates. Anyway, no need to elaborate that point here. That's not the point.

Occasionally you need to meet relatives and friends. We need to socialise. We need to throw parties - that itself drives some people crazy - the house needs to be sparkling.. the dinner ware needs to be arranged, the menu needs to be set. We finalize the menu, get the recipes, the ingredients and plan and start cooking hours or days in advance. Then we throw the party.. we ensure everyone is taken care of.. We lay the tableware beautifully. We ensure the children do not break the glassware. We try to entertain our guests. Then again the cleaning starts. Clean, dry and store it back.

Then, we travel sometimes (or many times in our case). Sometimes its the forests.. sometimes hills.. sometimes Assam..we need to plan, arrange leaves, book tickets, arrange clothes.. pack batteries and camera and lenses.. mosquito repellants.. leech socks.. trekking shoes.. winter clothes...books to read.. water, snacks, anti nausea things.. extra newspapers and polythenes.. we travel..we enjoy.. we come back with bags of soiled clothes. Again, the washing continues.

In between you have things like - buying clothes, finding a tailor, stitching it.. trying.. altering..finally a dress is born. Sometimes we roam in the parks.. sometimes MG Road. We visit Blossom. Many times we attend art programs at Alliance Francaise or Chowdiah or Ranga Shankara or even closer home at TERI. Sometimes we've gone to far away places for art programs. We want to encourage art.

Sometimes things refuse to work. The oven or iron box.. or fridge or geyser. We need to call the repair guy. Follow up and ensure its fixed. Pay him Ofcourse. Sometimes things are beyond repair, so we need to buy a new one. Disposing an old one could be a major heart break. We struggled to get rid of our old sofa.

In between, we go to Hyderabad for our house. We need to ensure the house is clean and things are repaired. Last year we spent 2 weeks, changing the bathroom, fixing new geysers and inverter.. checking all the electric points.. we spent 60K and 2 weeks. We found a tenant.. He stayed only for 3 months despite my request for long stay people. Then for 5 months we found no tenants. I was depressed. I had just lost my baby also and this loss of income was overwhelming. Somehow we never found tenants. It was getting hard. I thought of disposing the house. I started hating that possession. It was becoming more of a headache. I wished I didn't own a house. I was not living there.. someone else was enjoying our house and they were not being thankful. They did not realize what a wonderful house we have given them for that price.. An inverter, A/C, clocks, some chairs, beautiful cup boards, amazing marble floors, beautiful bathroom, nice kitchen, even beautiful curtains. Which owner gives you so much for no extra charge? Why didn't these people realize what they were getting? I, for one, have been thankful for the nice houses I have inhabited. When I see a job well done, I appreciate it. I am thankful. Why can't others be this way? So, I hate tenants now. I feel most of them don't deserve my house (Howard Roark.. Ayn Rand?) Do I need this headache? I don't want a house now. I think let's stay in a rented one though it is money just gone! Maybe we should stay in a decent - reasonable house.. not hi fi.. so that we get the best of both.. nice house and locality without the cost of ownership.. but economical enough for us to pay the rent and not feel bad about that money. I don't want land (though I do want to own a piece and do farming and have a self sustainable home someday).

Few years back, we had a BIG car. We payed a huge loan for it. I was very skeptic but my husband forced me to buy it. When my business tanked, and we lost our jobs, we were unable to pay the loan. My parents helped me dispose the loan and sell the car at 1/2 price. I was disgusted. Soon after I found a good paying job, I wanted to buy back the car. The guy never sold it. He sold it 2 years later at almost the same price as we sold it to him! Holy crap. Why is life such a bitch? Today, when I see that brand car, I don't feel regret. Such big cars clog the road. India is not a place for big cars. Big cars should be banned. Fuel should be priced high for big cars to discourage them. Unless the government takes some step to curb such illogical sales of automobiles - we will choke ourselves to death. Same with high rises. Most of my friends own 2 or 3 houses. There are retirement schemes for them. Since we buy 2 or 3, someone who needs ONE home, pays a huge price. We have inflated the market so much that he cannot buy a house. Because some people earn well.. he pays the price. So what if he is an auto rickshaw walla? Just because we IT folks or whoever it is that has caused these price hikes due to sky high salaries in some sectors, he feels the pinch.


Sometimes I attend some cookery classes or spiritual discourse or yoga. We watch movies. We go to restaurants..I read many things (which I have realized are not really useful. So I am setting filters).
I also write nowadays.

The more things we accumulate, the more high maintanence, the more you have to pay - the more you have to earn, the more you need to earn the more you travel on the road, and the more you have to earn the less time you get, the less time you get the more the things that are pending, the more the things are pending the more we get stressed, the more we get stressed the more we fall sick, the more we fall sick the more the work piles up and the more we pay for medical support and the more time we spend in hospitals, the more the work piles up.. the more the stressed we are..the more the hospital bills.. the more stressed we are... So, we are all stressed.

The more we look at others.. the more we admire their lifestyle.. we want what they have. Unknowingly greed seeps in.
This westernization is not good for us. We're a small country with huge population. We cannot follow their model of having SUVs and larger than life houses. We cannot afford it. We're all driving ourself crazy for something that doesn't matter to us. If we think seriously before any acquisition - be it a dress or a piece of jewellery or house or car.. and think of the repurcussions.. we would do well.
Do we really need it? If we buy it, we will find a thousand ways to use it and then make it a part of life and call it "indispensable". But, let's think before we buy. That's the best time. I used to have this sense with jewellery. I never accumulated any. I will watch what I hoard carefully. Except books and movies, I will buy everything else with care. I should not have anything extra than is absolutely needed. Thoreau's economic way needs to seep into me. A simple life.. uncluttered life.. gives more breathing space.. more time for yourself.. even a simple job, just enough to sustain you.. and give you time to pursue the things you love.. is more fulfilling than the 50 lacs jobs we can aim for.

Another thing to mention is - Why does Rahman sings so much in his musicals? He has a good voice but many times I feel that it's better if some one else had sung it. I kind of remember Sonu complaining that nowadays most music producers sing their own songs so musicians are finding it tough. Even otherwise its difficult in the music industry nowadays. Who sings 25 songs like SPB now? You hardly get 3 songs a year. How to make a living then? If Rahman grabs the songs too, how will the musicians make money? Unknowingly, in our greed to expand, we are eating into other people's spaces. If we restrict our greed, we can all live peacefully. We don't need to eat each other's pies. We could support them.. If Rahman is interested in singing, he can do a few songs.. occasionally. He can nourish and train singers. What if he starts dancing? Everyone will clamour to buy him, whether he is good or not. See Justin Timberlake. I donno, is he good? Does he deserve to be there? Aren't there better singer? How to justify this world? How to make this a fair place and even ground for all? What if I am unlucky? Even if I am talented, I will not reach my peak. Look at tamil actor Shyam or Bharath. They almost never made it. I am praying for them. I am praying that every talented and hardworking person wins. Lets create an atmosphere where all of us can indulge creatively and win.. let us nurture each other. Let's not let our greed eat the other guy's living!

P.S: I almost don't use phones. I don't download apps. I don't use twitter. I don't listen to foreign music. I don't read many books. I am pretty shut out from the things happening in the "world". Yet, that has not changed my ability to think rationally and come to conclusions. So, point is, we don't need all of this. Just because of economy we create things.. get addicted and pay for it and pay with our lives :-)
You could live a twitter free, sweet life even today. You can live without ATMs and netbanking. You could read books without Kindle or iPads. You really don't need iPads and iPhones and big TVs and cars. Our purpose in life is much beyond these nuisances (that's the right word).
We're losing our life to so called nuisances.

Getting away with posessions

The fundamental thing is that one wants to possess, humiliate, and subjugate another human being. This is happening because of a certain level of inadequacy, a certain level of incompleteness from within – that only by possessing something will you feel a little better. Whether to fulfill this possession you go shopping or you go raping, it’s the same thing. Something is inadequate, you want to fulfill this by getting something. This will find all kinds of ugly expressions. It will not stop at one thing.

If this has to change, we need to understand that individual transformation is the most crucial thing. If we are not willing to invest in that, we just have to do with what we have and worse will come. Transformation means, who you are is not determined by other people’s opinions or other people’s presence. In this direction every parent must invest upon their children, to transform them into more inclusive human beings. Inclusion just means this – technically, who you are is not limited to the absolute boundary of your physicality. If it is little more, the very way you walk, breathe, and exist on this planet will be different, simply because your idea of who you are is beyond the boundaries of your physicality. If this one thing happens to the human being, suddenly he is different in every possible way.
So, investing in a spiritual possibility, a possibility beyond one’s physicality, is the only ultimate answer there is. If you want long term benefits, this is the long term answer.

Learnings for me:
 Last year I invested in a bit of yoga and spirituality. I am ashamed that I am not doing my daily practice :-(
I don't know why it is not happening. Lack of control over food, laziness lack of discipline, other distractions - are the cause. I need to minimize my distractions. Else, I will be lost as always. I will repeat the same cycle or reading and forgetting and not following. I should not listen to everyone. I should not read every single blog online. I should read specific stuff. I should avoid hyperactive hyperlinks. I should spend less time on social media, movies, etc. I should pick a few things and focus. I should go off the internet and either practise silence or read physical books which have no hyperlinks. Maybe I should work in the blog section of Isha. My writing talent will improve and I can be in touch with Sadhguru's writing. I may even get a chance to ask him some questions. For some reason, I am a little apprehensive of being with Isha. Somethings about the people there, scare me and repel me. I am not 100% joyous there. Don't know why. I wonder if Sadhguru is my real guru or it will be someone else. I am eager to find that and continue the spiritual path. But, nevertheless, I am extremely grateful to Sadhguru. My initiation into the spiritual world happened just because of him. Maybe, like he said, the efforts of last year's Maha shivarathri are visible on me. I have become very calm, very introspective and better equipped to deal with things in life, since the last 2 years. Cheers.

Spiritual seeking in India - to protect the wisdom of the country

India cannot be studied, at the least one must soak it in, or at best must dissolve.   This is the only way.  It cannot be studied, western analysis of India is too off the mark, as symptomatic analysis of Bharat will only lead to very grossly misunderstood conclusions of a nation that revels and thrives in a chaos that is organic and exuberant.
This most ancient of nations upon this earth is not built upon a set of principles or beliefs or ambitions of its citizenry.  It is a nation of seekers, seeking not wealth or wellbeing, but liberation, not of economic or political kind, but the ultimate liberation.

A Godless but a Devout nation. When I say Godless, we need to understand that this is the only culture that has given humans the freedom not just to make a choice of Gods, but to create the sort of God that you can relate to. When Adi Yogi was asked how many ways to enlightenment, he said only 112 if you are within the realm of your physical system, but if you transcend the physical, then every atom in the universe is a doorway. “Bharat”, as the nation has been known for many millennia, is a complex amalgamation of this variety of spiritual possibilities. If you happen to be at the Maha Kumbh, there was quite a display of this. The best compliment came from none other than Mark Twain, after his visit to India, he said, “So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.”
India is not a study, but a phenomenon of possibilities, though a cauldron of multiple cultural, ethnic, religious and linguistic soup.  It is all held together by a single thread of seeking.  The tremendous longing has been nurtured into the peoples of the land, the longing to be free.  Free from the very process of life and death.

One must not forget that the basis of seeking is that One has realized that One does not know. One does not know the nature of One’s being. Instead of settling for a culturally convenient belief, for a whole populace to have the courage and commitment to seek the truth about themselves.

A nation that was conjured not in the minds of the ambitious, but by the sages, not for profit but in profoundness.  Bharat is not to be seen as just another political entity, but as a gateway to the fulfillment of the innermost longings of the human creature.  To preserve, protect and nurture the fundamental ethos of Bharat, the legacy of wisdom and unbridled exploration of life is a true gift to the Humanity as a whole.  As a generation, this is an important responsibility that we should fulfill.  Let not the limitless possibilities that the sages of this land explored and expounded be lost in religious bigotry and senseless simplistic dogmas.

The idea of nation has still not sunk into people’s minds and hearts. We have not done anything focused to build this. Nation building doesn’t just mean building infrastructure, it means building people. Keeping India as one nation is going to be a big challenge when economic prosperity happens because we have still not knitted the country as one. When people are poor they will somehow stick together, but once affluence comes divisions will invariably happen if we do not develop a certain integration of the nation through a cultural ethos.

In India, people speak, eat and even look different every hundred kilometers. So what is it that holds us together as one nation? Essentially it is a cultural and spiritual ethos which has held us together. In the last few decades this cultural fabric is being torn apart. Creating a strong cultural thread which binds all of us irrespective of religion, caste, creed or language is important if we want to move ahead as a nation.

Abt Kumbh Mela:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/yoga-meditation/history-of-yoga/kumbha-mela-the-greatest-gathering/

Articles on women and feminine presence by Sadhguru

http://blog.ishafoundation.org/lifestyle/relationships/the-feminine-presence-should-house-wives-in-india-be-paid-a-salary/

Sadhguru:

The most basic structure of the social unit is the family. Fortunately so far, the government has had the wisdom to stay away, keep their hands off the family, because they know they will mess it up. But it looks like now they want to enter your family in the guise of giving justice to women. You need to understand one thing, if a woman is paid for the chores that she does at home, she can also be fired. No divorce is needed. She is not cooking properly, fire her tomorrow morning. The next day you can hire somebody else. The sanctity of what it means to be a family will disappear. Not just the husband, even the children will ask, “Well, you are being paid, why are you not doing this?” The sanctity of being a wife, the sanctity of being a mother, the sanctity of being a feminine presence in the family, all this will be ruined and she will be reduced to a paid-for maid. The worst possible vocabulary could be used in this scenario. It is nobody’s business to enter a family and say how it should be run. The laws are on the street and not inside one’s home. That is a place where nobody should meddle except the people who live there.  

In today’s society, it has been observed that the title of “housewife” is inadvertently less valued than that of a “working woman”. Will the mere payment of a salary elevate the role of the housewife and make it more worthy of social recognition? Stay tuned for answers to these questions and more through Sadhguru’s words, in the concluding part of the series: The Feminine Presence, next week.

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http://blog.ishafoundation.org/lifestyle/relationships/the-feminine-presence-part-ii-2/

 Today, in the concluding part of The Feminine Presence, we take a deeper look at the role of the feminine in the home as well as society, through Sadhguru’s words.

Sadhguru:

Let’s look at this fundamentally. During the time of the caveman, men took care of food and shelter, the basic survival process. Women took care of cooking, nurturing and creating a better ambience for life. So the man fuelled the survival process and the woman fuelled that which makes living worthwhile. Without the woman’s contribution, when a caveman got up in the morning he would wonder, “Should I go out hunting today?” Because he had a wife and a child, there was a reason for him to go out and do something.

These are the two aspects fulfilled by masculine and feminine. From here on, when I say masculine and feminine, I want you to disengage these from being male and female. The natural tendency of the masculine is outgoing, it wants to take care of the survival process, it wants to take care of somebody. It doesn’t feel fulfilled unless it takes care of something. The natural tendency of the feminine is not like that; the feminine is absorbing, it creates an ambience of a certain beauty, love and gentleness.
There is a shift in today’s society. A woman may seek a career, but it is not just about that anymore. In today’s society, masculine ideals are becoming the most important. The tendencies of the masculine have become universal. Only masculine is power, or the right way to be, is a wrong perception that has seeped into society. Even women have started to understand it this way. So should a woman not be the caretaker? Yes, she can. But if the feminine was absent from the world, everybody would wonder, “Why are we here?” We would all be very successful, we would have a lot of food, a lot of money, but we would wonder, “Why are we here?” I’m not talking about male or female, I’m talking about masculine and feminine qualities.

Feminine is not weak; it is just fulfilling a different aspect of life…

A systematic obliteration of the feminine has happened in recent times. One of the reasons is that the world is driven by the economic engine. When economy becomes the only important thing on the planet, the survival process is automatically being put into a divine position. The masculine is bound to be dominant and in this system, women will suffer. Women will be mauled, not by a stranger. You may make laws for their protection, but the very system will maul them.
I think a lot of women are going through this and some of them are trying to find a balance between the two. The conflict is not happening because they are pursuing a career, but because the survival process has become the ideal. This is fundamentally a wrong way to structure a society. If aesthetics, love, music, dance, art and craft were as important as money, business and the stock market, you would see that the feminine would naturally play a significant role in the world.
Unfortunately, today there is very little role for the feminine. Even if a woman comes out of the house, she has to act like a man and only then she is successful. If she acts like a woman, she is considered weak. We need to see that feminine is not weak; it is just fulfilling a different aspect of life. Without that aspect, life is not complete. The day feminine is completely banished from this planet, life will not seem worth living anymore in spite of every convenience. Without the ambience of the feminine, masculine will feel meaningless.
Right now, a woman is trying to fit into the man’s world; this is not a good thing. She should not fit into a man’s world. Half the world should anyway be hers. Rather than trying to create a man’s world and fit a woman into it, which would twist her out of shape, it is best that we understand what is needed – a society where both masculine and feminine have equal roles to play. For that, our values of what is important in life have to change and our minds need to grow beyond the survival process. If spirituality became the most significant part of society, you would see that the feminine would be more dominant than the masculine.

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Other excerpts on women:

Linga bhairavi consecration:
These are the times when I really feel sad because such incredible things are happening and hardly anybody can see it, not everybody can enjoy what is happening, because to see different aspects of life, to see the way existence is made, you need a different type of eyes. Unless you strive to grow this kind of eyes, you won’t see, even if it is right in front of you. This consecration process has changed the fundamental chemistry of my system so dramatically, you won’t believe it.

Awesome article:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/inside-isha/happenings/linga-bhairavi-pure-untamed-life/

This is not making sense to you, isn’t it? That is the whole problem: The boundless nature of the existence is denied to people simply because they are crippled by their limited logical sense. Just give yourself to what is happening; chant, dance, work, kill yourself in some way; because unless the educated, sensible “you” dies, you will not know what this is. Unless you become as uneducated as me, you will not know what this is because this is something else. You cannot educate her; don’t ever try that. She is wild and fierce. This culture always encouraged the feminine, the women, to be fiery and wild. You should see the ancient literature in this country, where poets are saying, “What to do with a domesticated woman?” [Laughs] We domesticated women because we wanted to breed, raise families and things like that. So, here is one that you cannot domesticate. Wild, very fiery, but absolutely compassionate. These are not contradictory qualities in a being; all these things come together. Linga Bhairavi is just pure life; life in its fiery, highest possibility, but untamed.

She is a roar. She is like a scream. She is not gentle, nice, that kind. You can never domesticate her. “So, what is the use?” That is the whole thing; there is no use just life. Life is not a utility; life is a phenomenon that needs to be experienced. Life is not a milking cow that you could milk so many liters of milk from; life is just the most fabulous phenomenon that we have known or we have not known, [laughs] whichever way it is. To manifest this phenomenon in as many ways as possible, that is ultimately the only work. “What is the use?” No use.

So, next time we sit here it is going to be very, very different. This is not nice, gentle, subtle, refined energy. The Dhyanalinga is a very refined process. Refining it to that level of sophistication almost took my life. Here, with Linga Bhairavi, it is absolutely raw; no refinement at all.

Sadhguru joked that people were concerned that the Isha “brand” of logic, science, and rationality was threatened by the creation of the Linga Bhairavi, but he laughed this off, saying he wasn’t really interested in having a brand.

Swiftly, I recalled what Sadhguru had said about living ecstatically and devotionally, and felt a sudden contrast with the dry sterility of much of westernized living – even most of our festivals lack lustre. Who could argue that this is preferable to a life richly, vividly, color-fully lived!??? 

Rechristen International women's day as International day of the feminine.

Another awesome one:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/sadhguru/masters-words/devi-a-dynamic-force/

One who earns the Grace of Bhairavi neither has to live in concern or fear of life or death, of poverty, or of failure. All that a human being considers as wellbeing will be his if only he earns the Grace of Bhairavi.

Another good one:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/inside-isha/isha-yoga-center/navaratri-making-use-of-natures-support/

A man will conduct the survival process much more efficiently than a woman. Only because technology has come can you today equate man and woman in the level of activity. This is not a question of intelligence; this is a question of physical capability. If there is no structure, if everything is leveled to the ground, then the masculine will naturally dominate. It is from that era that the masculine is still dominating. Now that technological leveling has come, societies are structured. It is definitely time to level it, but to lose our sense about the physiological capabilities and psychological realities will be foolish because they are different. When we make our differences into a discriminatory process, it becomes ugly, otherwise being different is not wrong. Being different is not less or more, it is just different. Unfortunately, human societies have this history of making every difference into a discriminatory process.

A few years ago, when I was conducting a ladies Bhava Spandana at Spanda Hall, in one of the peak moments, I was witness to the Uniqueness of the feminine.  A powerful feminine force was so manifest in the air, my own body and energies were very much woman-like.  This was not new to me but on that day, it stood up in much grandeur.  Though from the same basis, how uniquely different the fundamentals of the feminine are.   This reality found a magnificent expression on that day and I thoroughly drank the nectar of the feminine and scribbled these words upon the notepad with my eye and attention holding on to the event that I was witnessing.
It is such a gross violation of the beauty of creation that today we have largely made feminine second class.  Aggressive cultural and religious attitudes are the main culprits.  The pettiness of wanting to be superior or better than the other has produced attitudes that make masculine a superior force, the grossness of holding physical or the material as ultimate is the root of genocide of the feminine.  Well, we have not killed the women of the world because of need but religion, modern science and now the corporate culture – all these are in an active mode of murder of the feminine.  Technology has facilitated the upward mobility of women to a more level playing field, but to a very masculine playing field.  Only in recognizing and experiencing that there is something more to life than the physical/material realm will the feminine find its true place in human societies.

Surviving in an era of trends - musings on life and happy days

Everyday, newspapers bring you bad news about your lifestyle- everything you eat - is dangerous. You're all gonna die soon, they proclaim. Scaring people, is a highly coveted and highly paid profession. Today, we no longer fear ghosts. We fear these articles which spell doom. Today, I read an article about how physical education at school is very important for attention in children. I have no doubts about that. Training in some sport and/or music makes a person better equipped to deal with life. It creates certain neuro circuits which help us in many ways. I understand and believe that. But, what more I speculated from the article was, with such realizations and the clammer to join gyms and do yoga and become size zero - we're probably creating a trend where everyone would want to get into the sports or fitness industry. Every second person you meet would be doing dance or sports. I already know a few IT folks who quit their jobs and are yoga teachers. I am not running them down here, I am happy that they realized what they wanted and got into yoga. But there are many who are likely to pursue sports or fitness just because it's the next booming industry. The next big thing! Maybe preschool is also a big thing. Everywhere around me, I see children's playschools and extra curricular activity areas. So much that I myself quit the idea of pursuing that area as it's too crowded already and I don't know if I can add any true value.

Now, to the reflections made. Every era or decade brings with it certain trends. Most of us know only of the fashion trends but there are other trends that society conceives and assimilates and percolates...and spreads. They spread with such force and zeal and breadth that millions of people know the trend...and are brooding about it. I do not have the wisdom to understand why such trends start.

Some decades back Engineering and Medicine were the trends. That means every parent or every student aspired to be engineers or doctors. Before that there was an IAS wave. There was then a subtrend of IT/ computer science or Nanotech/biotech. There may be big trends and sub trends within them. Within computer science, there are millions of people who do startups or want to do startups. Millions of people create apps for Android and iPhone. We create an impressive trailer for some new ideas and the society subscribes in millions. The society then pursues those trends. It's amazing how we can capture the collective imagination of a huge society that way. The whole flat, globalized world is amazed by the iPhone and Google glass. To some extent even the Higgs Boson finding made many non science people sit up and read abt it, whether they were interested or not, whether that finding really could add value to their lives or not. It amazes me how we responded collectively to such things. Even the support for the Delhi rape, was a pretty gallant attempt to unite and show our concern and courage.

Back to trailers, look what Apple did. They created the iPhone and did such an amazing trailer that now everyone wants an iPhone. Everyone HAS a smartphone already. Amidst all of this, Nokia and RIM are in crisis, while Samsung and Apple remain afloat (or rather laugh their way to the banks). Sometimes, the trends become unsustainable because they were conceived with flaws. They were conceived in a hurry to make quick bucks, without forethought, without sufficient analysis of all aspects of the product or its engineering or its intended and unintended use. I put the onus solely on the creator. The one who creates such trends should think of the side effects. The end user can get sucked in easily. As a society we do what our neighbours do. It's no longer neighbour's envy, owner's pride (whoever intelligently conceived this concept, hats off). It's now "own it before thy neighbour does" or "Own whatever thy neighbour owns". The user too has to do his homework but I assume the creator is more powerful and well informed than the user here.

Speaking of the onus on the creator, I still cannot forgive the people who invented cigarettes. Did they or didn't they know that it caused cancer? Did they still sell that stuff knowing fully well that they are selling death? Now that people got hooked onto it, we can't de-addict so easily. It's not easy to de-addict. It's easier to not know a thing than to know and like and to then forget. There are one off cases wherein great humans like Einstein also committed mistakes which he hugely regretted.
http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/11/ive-created-a-monster-on-the-regrets-of-inventors/249044/

Sometimes, the bubble bursts. If we work in that area -many of us fall.. we're scattered, shattered and wrecked and wracked. We don't know what wrecked us. It's unfathomable. We are clueless what hit our lives and why we have to suffer for someone else's mistakes. Look at the global recession that was triggered by some wrong calculations done by a bunch of folks in the US. Some survive the bubble or catastrophe- maybe the ones really meant for that field or ones with divine powers or simply ones who planned well and stayed focussed and cool. I don't know the pattern of who survived. All I know is - some survived well.. some manage to float.. some sank without a trace.. some almost drowned but picked themselves up and lead a different life.

We'll talk about the ones that got up, dusted themselves and re-looked at themselves. They see what went wrong. They see why they failed - was it intrinsic or extrinsic. Was there something they could have done better? Was there something they did not foresee? Did they do right by following the trend? They do a lot of introspection and analysis. It could take years or months to conclude. In that time, they suffer.. in many ways (physical, mental, social, financial). Some fall off and perish during this introspection cycle. Some endure. They (most probably) go one to reinvent themselves, which basically means, change perspectives. Change the filters to your eye and the mind. Look at who you are, what you want and what best you can do to achieve happiness in life. Do you really need that luxury car and swanky home? Did you love that plush job where you sat glued to the computers for hours? They ask uncomfortable questions. They take bold steps. They attend some courses to improve themselves or work as apprentices. Most often they may seek emotional help through friends or doctors. Then slowly - very slowly they put their 'life' back together. They may win a modest success, but if they've done the homework well on that failed ground.. they are better off to face any challenge. They are changed for eternity and equipped with life guards. It's as if each of their cells and genes were replaced. They got a pair of fresh eyes, a new nose, new ears and new skin. They see beauty everywhere, they breathe afresh... they hear the music always...they feel afresh. They are more aware of themselves, their thoughts, actions and feelings. They are better in control of their emotions. Eventually they are better in control of their destiny. They may still fail, but they never damage themselves due to those failures. They re-assess. They constantly introspect and re-assess and change their path. They accept their follies better. They quit when they foresee many bad things. Else they stay and fight with the right perspective. Eventually they know more about themselves and their shortcomings and deal with it peacefully, and also with the world at large. These people - are heroes. Unknowingly they've researched philosophy and sociology. They have unknowingly internalized the vedic literature which teaches you who you are and why you're here. The essence of life and all crisis is to make you ask those basic questions about yourself and your relation to this universe and immediate surroundings. It is to help you find the root cause of all suffering and take the lesson so that we do not suffer again - atleast not for the same set of things... If we mindlessly do things and unfortunately for us, if we never fail, we become delusional - we think we've succeeded but we haven't moved an inch. We're there exactly where the creator left us - physically and mentally. We have no true growth. These people who failed, introspected and picked themselves - are heroes...warriors...they should be proud of themselves. It's not easy to confront your demons.. to accept your mistakes.. to acknowledge and correct your mistakes and thoroughly shake your ground, lose all that you have and start afresh with nothing in hand. You renounce your old thoughts and beliefs and personality. You are willing to appear as a fool to the world. I remember Sadhguru saying "unless you unlearn whatever you've accumulated and call as self, I can do nothing with you". One day or the other, we have to unlearn what we learnt through the mind.
(Good things to read at this point:
http://jaiarjun.blogspot.in/2009/12/private-luxury-doing-your-own-thing.html
http://www.sriramanamaharshi.org/teachings/instructions/
http://www.theminimalists.com/fc/)

Life is cyclic. Life is joyful - whether you're a flower seller or a janitor or a teacher or a programmer. We have super imposed many artificial things on top of plain life - success, fame, money, power, Monday to friday, 9AM to 6PM job, day job, night job, performance appraisals, traffic rules, laws for the country, national borders, international laws, social media, economy, marketing, etc. That's why we respect an actor more than our gardener. Why don't we have some kind of Oscars to reward our talented gardeners and janitors? Don't they deserve one? Who says their job is low grade? Why did Gandhiji clean his own toilet? Our gardener directly helps us see the flowers of his effort but we don't respect him because we have been programmed that only certain jobs are great, fancy, extra ordinary and worthy of praise. We neglect a huge part of humanity because of this flaw. We do not know the name of our maid but we know every little detail about Hrithik Roshan's private life. This "neglect" and "fear of becoming obsolete" and "fear of dying a life un-noticed" makes people do crazy things like stripping for the Indian cricket team or conducting a self-degrading swayamwar. If the people near and dear to us know us, understand us, respect us - we may, to some extent get rid of this celebrity culture and be proud of our ordinary lives. If we build strong communities and bond, we may be better off. I am also not sure if we were meant to work Mondays to fridays and at certain approved hours. If we were made that way, no one would experience monday blues. If we all had an inherent compass and traffic rules within, we don't need external rules. Some of the rules exist - purely to make life more manageable. With the current population, these rules are there to ensure that we live and let others live peacefully. Despite traffic rules existing, why do so many people break rules? Why do people commit crimes like rape and murder? Read this awesome piece here:
http://blog.ishafoundation.org/lifestyle/why-human-transformation-is-the-only-way-to-prevent-rape/

I just know that life is meant to be joyful. More than that, I don't know if anything else is true of life. We have survival and procreation for biological reasons. Even here, the Hindu concept of birth, re-birth and moksh are beyond my understanding. There is so much joy and creation around that if we re-align ourselves and change our perceptions of LIFE, DEATH and everything in between..and introspect and observe and act in awareness, we can create our own alternate world. If we understand who we are, what we want and change our definitions of LIFE, WORK, PLAY, etc.. We can perceive a different life. Even a pot of tea simmering can show us amazing things and bring joy. When you cut a bright red, juicy tomato, you can experience the highs of teenage love. That's how such a small and seemingly insignificant thing, which we pass by everyday without recognizing or acknowledging - can bring huge changes to our day. Such awareness and appreciation is what I call being meditative. I want to be meditative the whole day. It's not enough to meditate for 30 minutes. It's truly not enough. A whole day in meditation and if possible, in utter silence, can do wonders to humans. In our quest for trends and success and money and thoughtless actions - we have drowned ourselves in the humdrum of machines and traffic horns. We have truly forgotten to recognise the joy that's staring at us right in front of our eyes by chasing the stars that are billions of light years away. (Oh.. I am being too philosophical, can't help. Also, these are truly the words spoken by a totally jobless, unsuccessful person. Grapes are sour, aren't they? If you choose to look at it that way.)

We need just one good song, one comic strip, one good article a day - to hear, to learn and be happy.  We don't need the hundreds of articles flooding the internet. We don't need to mindlessly listen to a thousand songs while travelling to work. One song would do. Anything simple, done with utmost awareness, as if your entire wellbeing depended on how well you treat that one thing or executed that one job you're currently doing- is a source of great joy. And it's these small magical moments - the right song that you heard, that superb article you read and the funny comic strip you laughed at... can make your day from average to ecstatic. Today, my day opened to fresh sunlight and a cool fragrant breeze. The weather itself brought in great cheer and uplifted my spirits. And as if the divine wanted me to continue feeling UP, he sent me a beautiful article on flower sellers which I posted here earlier. (http://www.thehindu.com/features/metroplus/society/fragrances-of-life/article5160070.ece?homepage=true)
Then I chose the right song - Omana Penne and listened with utmost awareness.. and my day already feels full.. and blissed. I could top up the happiness by going to Cubbon and read under the huge trees, while being intercepted frequently by the chatter of squirrels and barbets and the breeze that has all the blades of grass swinging in harmony and joy.With so much joy, who needs to become the CEO of some billion dollar company or become a celebrity? Today, did any of them or can any of them experience the level of happiness that I, who am jobless, almost penniless, experienced? No wonder, the meditating daily labourer without a home enjoys more happiness than the CEO in his plush office and swanky car. I also have this insane thought now. What if I journalled every single thing that I did today and repeat the same tomorrow? How would the 2 days feel? I will do this one day. Would life becoming unbearably boring if today is the same as tomorrow? What do people mean when they say you can cross the boundaries of time and space when you are fully aware? How would it be to experience such things? Would it feel like Alice in Wonderland, like Harry Potter or The Matrix? Was Matrix based on spirituality? If I become fully aware and realized, how will my life look like? Will I become dull and boring and disinterested in all things? I wonder, how life will be. I wonder how these great sages's lives are. Once you attain that level, what do you do next? Do you take up a job and earn money or you start your ashram or join some other ashram? I am very curious to cross the line and see.

I was also thinking - Simbu can die in peace today (according to me) after giving that stellar performance in VTV. Aamir can also cross the line of life after having achieved TZP and Satyameva Jayate. That's enough achievement for a lifetime. What is it for me, which when I achieve, would be enough to say "Now, I am done. This is all I needed to do. Now, I can rest in peace"?

As of now, I need to chart a course of action. Simple things to increase my awareness every day. I cannot achieve big steps immediately but by consistently following a list of small, easy steps.. and progressing, I may climb the spiritual ladder and attain some level of "realization". With that, we come to the end of a really long article.

Biliography and useful additional references:

Be free from "Me":
http://books.google.co.in/books?id=PdGwAAAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Guru Pournami and suffering:

http://blog.ishafoundation.org/sadhguru/spot/guru-pournami-the-first-guru/

Sadhguru on falling out of love because we grow differently:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sadhguru/marriage-growing-apart_b_1027914.html

Sadhana for taming the mind:
http://www.srinannagaru.com/articles/english/quote/index.php

Some notes on meditation:
http://blogs.hbr.org/2012/10/if-youre-too-busy-to-meditate/
Meditation makes you more productive. Meditating daily will strengthen your willpower muscle.
How? By increasing your capacity to resist distracting urges.
Research shows that an ability to resist urges will improve your relationships, increase your dependability, and raise your performance. If you can resist your urges, you can make better, more thoughtful decisions. You can be more intentional about what you say and how you say it. You can think about the outcome of your actions before following through on them.
Our ability to resist an impulse determines our success in learning a new behavior or changing an old habit. It’s probably the single most important skill for our growth and development.
As it turns out, that’s one of the things meditation teaches us. It’s also one of the hardest to learn.

It’s easier and more reliable to create an environment that supports your goals than it is to depend on willpower.
Meditation gives you practice having power over your urges so you can make intentional choices about which to follow and which to let pass.

Problem with intellect instead of intelligence:
http://satgurucharitra.blogspot.in/2013/06/guru-bodha.html

My own observation for today:
Some things are easier to handle than others. It's easy for me to deal with being at home and feeling the urge to get back to work than staying at work and wanting to go home on a sunny day. Somehow we seem predisposed to handle some situations better than other situations, while other people may deal with the ones we feel tough to handle, and find those situations tough to handle, which is easy for us to handle. Point to note. So, take up what you can handle. If you already foresee trouble and you have not been successful multiple times at handling it, let go.

Fragrances of life - The Hindu

Fragrances of life - The Hindu

An Institude for ideas!

http://www.instituteofideas.com/about/index.html

Interesting thought! An institute for ideas and for debating complex social issues!

The academy is hosting events to:
simply cultivate ourselves with good books, good teachers and in good company. If you have ever thought, what a shame I never had time to study Aristotle, Machiavelli, Hegel or Hume, now’s your chance to better yourself. Whatever your age or education. IoI members come from all walks of life and will bring different perspectives and genuinely interdisciplinary insights.

Lovely isn't it? Something we should pick up here in India.

Celebrity culture

Seeing as you may, that I am a complete movie buff and I do idolise (for short time) some people from that industry - it's just natural that I googled this celebrity culture stuff and why normally sane people like me, are taken in by this celebrity culture. I am not proud of it but good cinema is escapism, fantasy and alternate universe for me.

I don't think that this obsession is good or going to do me any good.  Many times I want to log out. I have greatly reduced time spent watching photos or celebrities/ their videos/ movie links.
Not doing this and not doing FB, chats, long phone calls, TV, politics and news - leaves you - with MORE time. It's incredible, the amount of time you have, when you don't do these things. Last year, I was in almost complete isolation from the world. I shut off all the doors and windows and the digital windows too! I don't think I regret that. It has made me a thinking woman. It has shown me the art of introspection - to question who I am, what I like to do and whether what I am doing is the right thing to do. I still mess up many things. I am no saint. But, I know that I am addicted and hence doing that. That level of awareness has come in. I can remember things better now as I am aware. I can backtrack a day's events and look at details, something I never did before. I seem to have grown up in some way. When there is so much noise, we do very little thinking. We're enamoured by this sensory pursuit of the glorious things we see.. the photoshopped celebrities, their life, even your friend's status on FB.. when you cut this noise, you can hear your heart beat. You know the true self and you know the social self - the one we put up for others. We try to see how different they are. You may choose to keep 2 selves or may merge into one. There is a lot of wisdom in yoga, philosophy, Vedantas and Indian spiritual teachings (plus Taoism and buddhism). At sometime these should be mandatory for a person. No other teaching is required. I was awed by the number of spin offs from the vedantas. How many books and movies are inspired by the rich knowledge of our forefathers?

I don't know which of the things has changed me a lot - a more natural, cool food or my introduction to yoga and spirituality or my job-free, stress-free life? I wish I have the dedication to pursue the Vedantas. I think, at some point of time, I will read them for sure. Now that they bumped into me - there will be a time for these... Every book.. every movie.. everything has a time. I don't know if it is related to your readiness to absorb it but it works. I have read many things long before I was ready.. long before I understood what the authors told. I don't know if it was some masterplan - but I did read mindlessly. I don't know if they've unknowingly affected me.

Life is the same for all of us, despite the paths we tread between birth and death. We have the same questions - who am I, what is my purpose, is there a God.. what is this universe, etc.

Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities:

http://www.amazon.com/Vedanta-Treatise-The-Eternities-A-Parthasarathy/dp/818711178X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379910751&sr=8-1&keywords=vedanta+treatise


Be Free From “Me”:
http://www.amazon.com/Be-Free-From-Me-ebook/dp/B00EUT6YES/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379910954&sr=8-1&keywords=be+free+from+me


Back to the celebrity cult research:

Awesome article by Nate Pyle on being ordinary:

http://natepyle.com/radically-ordinary/

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2013/aug/15/stephen-hawking-celebrity-culture

40% of adults expect to enjoy their 15 minutes of fame in some guise or other. Many more are enthralled by those who achieve this goal, often immoderately.

36% of a sample of 600 adults were afflicted to some degree by what was termed "celebrity-worship syndrome". The most extreme sufferers believed that the object of their ardour knew them, and declared themselves ready to die for their hero.

If only people could attend instead to something that really mattered: they'd soon forget their foolish fondness for fame. Something, perhaps, like the workings of the universe?

Milton called fame "that last infirmity of noble mind".

Katharine Hepburn, who once remarked: "I didn't have any desire to be an actress or to learn how to act. I just wanted to be famous."

Plato disapproved of competition for praise on the grounds that it would tempt the great to bend to the will of the crowd.

Will Self: "A culture that privileges notoriety above other human attributes – talent, power, beauty et al – is one in which expertise of any sort has been replaced by a perverse cult of the amateur."

Some seem to believe it is vital for human beings to create their own essence: depending on others' approval will only lead to disaster. "Fame enslaves the gods and men," according to Heraclitus, and contemporary studies have found that subjects motivated by praise and recognition experience lower wellbeing than those pursuing internally derived goals.

Those who actually achieve fame are supposedly vulnerable to conditions like "acquired situational narcissism". New York psychiatrist Robert B Millman says this affliction can cause a celebrity to get "so used to everyone looking at him that he stops looking back at them". This may lead to grandiose fantasies, rage and loss of empathy, which can in turn prompt relationship breakdown, addiction and loss of touch with reality.

A Chinese study found that subjects who idolised celebrities performed less well at work or college and enjoyed lower self-esteem than those who looked up to teachers or relations. Other studies have found higher levels of depression, anxiety, stress and general illness, accompanied by increased rates of addiction and crime.

For both the famous and their followers, the celebrity culture can make bearable what otherwise would not be. (If we all read the Vedanta and practise yoga/ meditation and philosophy this could be avoided).

 For us, steeped as we are in self-love and entitlement, insignificance seems to have become insufferable. Today, for many, to be a nonentity is to be a non-entity. Fame may not eliminate the bleakness of an uncaring cosmos, but it can mitigate its impact. Becoming an acolyte of the elect also seems to help: devotion earns you a share of your hero's aura.

We also seem desperate to relieve the loneliness of Hawking's universe. Personal relationships are difficult, yet stars whose narcissism dooms their marriages can bask in the unconditional adulation of their following; the latter in turn enjoy "parasocial interaction" with gorgeous pseudo-chums without fear of rejection or betrayal.

Today, many of us know more about the lives of stars than about those of our relations or friends. The extended family may have withered and community life may have waned; yet we can share the successes and reverses of the famous, and hear them talk back to us on Twitter. If we want to, we can revel in their misfortunes and laugh at them behind their backs, in a way that real-life intimacy does not permit. At sites such as The Ghoul Pool, we can even bet on when they will die.

Psychologist John Maltby of Leicester University, who specialises in social influences on individuals, believes young people can benefit from becoming fans of the same stars. "Sharing facts and gossip brings groups together and helps them bond," he says. "It's part of the normal functioning of society."

 "Celebrities are informal life coaches. By watching them, people learn how to groom, learn how to wear their hair, learn what to say, learn what opinions are sexy, learn what's right-on and not right-on. They're assimilating all sorts of life-skills." Since such education is widely shared, it can function as a "social adhesive".

celebrity is a vital ‘social adhesive’ in a society fragmenting under the pressures of globalisation, digitisation and loss of community.  

Also - to read: http://www.history.ac.uk/reviews/review/994
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200407/seeing-starlight-celebrity-obsession