Yesterday I faced many obstacles on the way to the gym. (The gym is a km from my house.)
What obstacles? Cars... lots of cars.. parked haphazardly in lanes too narrow to hold them.. I observed how there was less road and more cars and bungalows. I was wondering, if we all were content with smaller houses, smaller cars and smaller vehicles, shop in smaller shops, we can handle the situation a bit better.
I was thinking, earlier most of us had small houses in the city. We never had a room for ourselves. I always wanted my privacy and longed for my own room. When I started earning and when I got married, I bought a decent 3 BHK in Hyderabad. It was not expensive. It's a 1540 sqft house. Big enough for me. Till day, I don't feel the need for a bigger house. Today, I stay in a 2BHK rented place. It's a tad too small for us with very less shelf space but it serves the purpose (It's amazing how 2 people have accumulated sooooooooo many things over 10 years. It took me 2 years to clear my 3BHK, throw things and pick only that which will fit into my 2BHK).
I have no complaints about my house. It's not my own. Doesn't matter. It's smaller and less decorous and less planned than my own house, but doesn't matter. It serves the purpose. Also it's located amidst parks and trees. Everyday I can see birds and trees from my favourite seating point. That is enough to cheer me. My kitchen overflows due to lack of cupboards and I am hesitant to pick up more furniture in the name of "organizing my kitchen". I feel it will be rendered useless if we have to shift somewhere.. I need to carry that unwanted burden.
Also, it is quite an effort to maintain this small house itself. When the maid goes on leave, I realize the trouble. Every once in a while, we need to dust, clean the curtains, the mosquito nets. The balconies need cleaning once every 2-3 days. The 2 bathrooms need cleaning atleast once a week. There are shelves in the balcony that need regular cleaning. The bedroom shelves need dusting and sorting. Paper work needs sorting. Medical files, official records.. need sorting. I sometimes hate this work though I do a good job at it. I wash clothes atleast 4 times a week. Many of my salwars are hand washed. They then go to the press guy to get pressed. Some go to the dry cleaner. Every week 2-3 times we get veggies. They need to be cleaned thoroughly, soaked in water, dried and packed into the fridge. Greens and coriander and mint are added worries. Since we want to eat healthy food, we take that pain but it is time consuming. For a couple of months when my in laws were here, that's all I was doing. Buying veggies, cleaning them, sorting them, cleaning the house, cooking, washing, drying, folding, checking things that need to be refreshed, buying groceries, going to the dry cleaners, picking pressed clothes, paying bills, buying medicines, doing some medical tests, taking them out, planning for the trips - booking hotels and train, reading abt the destination and noting important points, packing clothes and other essentials for the trip.. I did not read a thing useful. My life was just so busy just MAINTAINING a life and family. That itself is exhausting. It's unfair that housewives are neglected. It's so damn difficult to do the same things in a cycle and not feel exhausted. It's difficult planning breakfast each day. I break my head over it. Lunch and dinner are relatively easy but made difficult due to poor vegetable choices. My MIL was worried that I was picking beans and carrots everyday. That's what is available in the market. If you buy fruits you need to use them on time. Veggies also, need sorting and have to be used fresh. So I make a list of which veggies to use first. Then, after cooking - the kitchen needs cleaning. The dining table is set. The vessels reach the table. Then serve food. Eat, Then again clean. Whatever is left, store it in the fridge. Put the vessels for cleaning to the maid. Share food with her. Fill the water filter. (Now boil water too). Buy milk. Boil it on time lest it curdles. Make curd. Clear the fridge every now and then. Plan how to use some veggies. Plan how to use that little bit of rajma. Wash the husbands whites separately. Wash the utility clothes and dry. The polythenes need sorting. Milk covers and other plastics are washed thoroughly, dried and stored. Wash foot mats. Wash bedsheets and pillow covers. Change them every 10 days. If buckets are too dirty wash them. Recharge DTH. Pay taxes. Pay rent. Pay internet and phone bills (ok, online but I need to remember to pay right?) Pay the milkman, newspaper guy, car cleaner and maid each month. Pay society charges. If you have energy, call friends and family. Meeting is out of question - especially in Blore traffic. Go to the gym. Find time to meditate. Listen to some songs. Read something if you finally become free. Watch a little TV. This is a life.
The pots need watering and the soil needs changing - sometimes we need to deal with insects and plants which refuse to grow (not that I'm complaining. The flowers are a source of joy). The kitchen shelves need cleaning. There are tough oil stains. I've reduced my kitchen utensils to minimum so that I can manage well. I refuse to buy a big fridge though my current one is small. Why? Because if I buy a bigger fridge, I will find new things to stock it up with. And most of it will go waste as we're just 2 people. We don't use some things regularly. I think it's wise to go out and eat a dessert instead of buying expensive ingredients which we cannot finish...Sometimes we want to try our hand and create a nice dish, that's ok.. but it may not be the most cost effective as people say. You will have left over paneer or ricotta or balsamic or Parmesan. You have to either make a dish again or throw it away. It's happened many times. Also, since many of these are imported the costs are very high. The effective cost of the dish you cooked, goes up very high. Restaurants are able to keep costs low due to volume and as they source from vendors are cheaper rates. Anyway, no need to elaborate that point here. That's not the point.
Occasionally you need to meet relatives and friends. We need to socialise. We need to throw parties - that itself drives some people crazy - the house needs to be sparkling.. the dinner ware needs to be arranged, the menu needs to be set. We finalize the menu, get the recipes, the ingredients and plan and start cooking hours or days in advance. Then we throw the party.. we ensure everyone is taken care of.. We lay the tableware beautifully. We ensure the children do not break the glassware. We try to entertain our guests. Then again the cleaning starts. Clean, dry and store it back.
Then, we travel sometimes (or many times in our case). Sometimes its the forests.. sometimes hills.. sometimes Assam..we need to plan, arrange leaves, book tickets, arrange clothes.. pack batteries and camera and lenses.. mosquito repellants.. leech socks.. trekking shoes.. winter clothes...books to read.. water, snacks, anti nausea things.. extra newspapers and polythenes.. we travel..we enjoy.. we come back with bags of soiled clothes. Again, the washing continues.
In between you have things like - buying clothes, finding a tailor, stitching it.. trying.. altering..finally a dress is born. Sometimes we roam in the parks.. sometimes MG Road. We visit Blossom. Many times we attend art programs at Alliance Francaise or Chowdiah or Ranga Shankara or even closer home at TERI. Sometimes we've gone to far away places for art programs. We want to encourage art.
Sometimes things refuse to work. The oven or iron box.. or fridge or geyser. We need to call the repair guy. Follow up and ensure its fixed. Pay him Ofcourse. Sometimes things are beyond repair, so we need to buy a new one. Disposing an old one could be a major heart break. We struggled to get rid of our old sofa.
In between, we go to Hyderabad for our house. We need to ensure the house is clean and things are repaired. Last year we spent 2 weeks, changing the bathroom, fixing new geysers and inverter.. checking all the electric points.. we spent 60K and 2 weeks. We found a tenant.. He stayed only for 3 months despite my request for long stay people. Then for 5 months we found no tenants. I was depressed. I had just lost my baby also and this loss of income was overwhelming. Somehow we never found tenants. It was getting hard. I thought of disposing the house. I started hating that possession. It was becoming more of a headache. I wished I didn't own a house. I was not living there.. someone else was enjoying our house and they were not being thankful. They did not realize what a wonderful house we have given them for that price.. An inverter, A/C, clocks, some chairs, beautiful cup boards, amazing marble floors, beautiful bathroom, nice kitchen, even beautiful curtains. Which owner gives you so much for no extra charge? Why didn't these people realize what they were getting? I, for one, have been thankful for the nice houses I have inhabited. When I see a job well done, I appreciate it. I am thankful. Why can't others be this way? So, I hate tenants now. I feel most of them don't deserve my house (Howard Roark.. Ayn Rand?) Do I need this headache? I don't want a house now. I think let's stay in a rented one though it is money just gone! Maybe we should stay in a decent - reasonable house.. not hi fi.. so that we get the best of both.. nice house and locality without the cost of ownership.. but economical enough for us to pay the rent and not feel bad about that money. I don't want land (though I do want to own a piece and do farming and have a self sustainable home someday).
Few years back, we had a BIG car. We payed a huge loan for it. I was very skeptic but my husband forced me to buy it. When my business tanked, and we lost our jobs, we were unable to pay the loan. My parents helped me dispose the loan and sell the car at 1/2 price. I was disgusted. Soon after I found a good paying job, I wanted to buy back the car. The guy never sold it. He sold it 2 years later at almost the same price as we sold it to him! Holy crap. Why is life such a bitch? Today, when I see that brand car, I don't feel regret. Such big cars clog the road. India is not a place for big cars. Big cars should be banned. Fuel should be priced high for big cars to discourage them. Unless the government takes some step to curb such illogical sales of automobiles - we will choke ourselves to death. Same with high rises. Most of my friends own 2 or 3 houses. There are retirement schemes for them. Since we buy 2 or 3, someone who needs ONE home, pays a huge price. We have inflated the market so much that he cannot buy a house. Because some people earn well.. he pays the price. So what if he is an auto rickshaw walla? Just because we IT folks or whoever it is that has caused these price hikes due to sky high salaries in some sectors, he feels the pinch.
Sometimes I attend some cookery classes or spiritual discourse or yoga. We watch movies. We go to restaurants..I read many things (which I have realized are not really useful. So I am setting filters).
I also write nowadays.
The more things we accumulate, the more high maintanence, the more you have to pay - the more you have to earn, the more you need to earn the more you travel on the road, and the more you have to earn the less time you get, the less time you get the more the things that are pending, the more the things are pending the more we get stressed, the more we get stressed the more we fall sick, the more we fall sick the more the work piles up and the more we pay for medical support and the more time we spend in hospitals, the more the work piles up.. the more the stressed we are..the more the hospital bills.. the more stressed we are... So, we are all stressed.
The more we look at others.. the more we admire their lifestyle.. we want what they have. Unknowingly greed seeps in.
This westernization is not good for us. We're a small country with huge population. We cannot follow their model of having SUVs and larger than life houses. We cannot afford it. We're all driving ourself crazy for something that doesn't matter to us. If we think seriously before any acquisition - be it a dress or a piece of jewellery or house or car.. and think of the repurcussions.. we would do well.
Do we really need it? If we buy it, we will find a thousand ways to use it and then make it a part of life and call it "indispensable". But, let's think before we buy. That's the best time. I used to have this sense with jewellery. I never accumulated any. I will watch what I hoard carefully. Except books and movies, I will buy everything else with care. I should not have anything extra than is absolutely needed. Thoreau's economic way needs to seep into me. A simple life.. uncluttered life.. gives more breathing space.. more time for yourself.. even a simple job, just enough to sustain you.. and give you time to pursue the things you love.. is more fulfilling than the 50 lacs jobs we can aim for.
Another thing to mention is - Why does Rahman sings so much in his musicals? He has a good voice but many times I feel that it's better if some one else had sung it. I kind of remember Sonu complaining that nowadays most music producers sing their own songs so musicians are finding it tough. Even otherwise its difficult in the music industry nowadays. Who sings 25 songs like SPB now? You hardly get 3 songs a year. How to make a living then? If Rahman grabs the songs too, how will the musicians make money? Unknowingly, in our greed to expand, we are eating into other people's spaces. If we restrict our greed, we can all live peacefully. We don't need to eat each other's pies. We could support them.. If Rahman is interested in singing, he can do a few songs.. occasionally. He can nourish and train singers. What if he starts dancing? Everyone will clamour to buy him, whether he is good or not. See Justin Timberlake. I donno, is he good? Does he deserve to be there? Aren't there better singer? How to justify this world? How to make this a fair place and even ground for all? What if I am unlucky? Even if I am talented, I will not reach my peak. Look at tamil actor Shyam or Bharath. They almost never made it. I am praying for them. I am praying that every talented and hardworking person wins. Lets create an atmosphere where all of us can indulge creatively and win.. let us nurture each other. Let's not let our greed eat the other guy's living!
P.S: I almost don't use phones. I don't download apps. I don't use twitter. I don't listen to foreign music. I don't read many books. I am pretty shut out from the things happening in the "world". Yet, that has not changed my ability to think rationally and come to conclusions. So, point is, we don't need all of this. Just because of economy we create things.. get addicted and pay for it and pay with our lives :-)
You could live a twitter free, sweet life even today. You can live without ATMs and netbanking. You could read books without Kindle or iPads. You really don't need iPads and iPhones and big TVs and cars. Our purpose in life is much beyond these nuisances (that's the right word).
We're losing our life to so called nuisances.
What obstacles? Cars... lots of cars.. parked haphazardly in lanes too narrow to hold them.. I observed how there was less road and more cars and bungalows. I was wondering, if we all were content with smaller houses, smaller cars and smaller vehicles, shop in smaller shops, we can handle the situation a bit better.
I was thinking, earlier most of us had small houses in the city. We never had a room for ourselves. I always wanted my privacy and longed for my own room. When I started earning and when I got married, I bought a decent 3 BHK in Hyderabad. It was not expensive. It's a 1540 sqft house. Big enough for me. Till day, I don't feel the need for a bigger house. Today, I stay in a 2BHK rented place. It's a tad too small for us with very less shelf space but it serves the purpose (It's amazing how 2 people have accumulated sooooooooo many things over 10 years. It took me 2 years to clear my 3BHK, throw things and pick only that which will fit into my 2BHK).
I have no complaints about my house. It's not my own. Doesn't matter. It's smaller and less decorous and less planned than my own house, but doesn't matter. It serves the purpose. Also it's located amidst parks and trees. Everyday I can see birds and trees from my favourite seating point. That is enough to cheer me. My kitchen overflows due to lack of cupboards and I am hesitant to pick up more furniture in the name of "organizing my kitchen". I feel it will be rendered useless if we have to shift somewhere.. I need to carry that unwanted burden.
Also, it is quite an effort to maintain this small house itself. When the maid goes on leave, I realize the trouble. Every once in a while, we need to dust, clean the curtains, the mosquito nets. The balconies need cleaning once every 2-3 days. The 2 bathrooms need cleaning atleast once a week. There are shelves in the balcony that need regular cleaning. The bedroom shelves need dusting and sorting. Paper work needs sorting. Medical files, official records.. need sorting. I sometimes hate this work though I do a good job at it. I wash clothes atleast 4 times a week. Many of my salwars are hand washed. They then go to the press guy to get pressed. Some go to the dry cleaner. Every week 2-3 times we get veggies. They need to be cleaned thoroughly, soaked in water, dried and packed into the fridge. Greens and coriander and mint are added worries. Since we want to eat healthy food, we take that pain but it is time consuming. For a couple of months when my in laws were here, that's all I was doing. Buying veggies, cleaning them, sorting them, cleaning the house, cooking, washing, drying, folding, checking things that need to be refreshed, buying groceries, going to the dry cleaners, picking pressed clothes, paying bills, buying medicines, doing some medical tests, taking them out, planning for the trips - booking hotels and train, reading abt the destination and noting important points, packing clothes and other essentials for the trip.. I did not read a thing useful. My life was just so busy just MAINTAINING a life and family. That itself is exhausting. It's unfair that housewives are neglected. It's so damn difficult to do the same things in a cycle and not feel exhausted. It's difficult planning breakfast each day. I break my head over it. Lunch and dinner are relatively easy but made difficult due to poor vegetable choices. My MIL was worried that I was picking beans and carrots everyday. That's what is available in the market. If you buy fruits you need to use them on time. Veggies also, need sorting and have to be used fresh. So I make a list of which veggies to use first. Then, after cooking - the kitchen needs cleaning. The dining table is set. The vessels reach the table. Then serve food. Eat, Then again clean. Whatever is left, store it in the fridge. Put the vessels for cleaning to the maid. Share food with her. Fill the water filter. (Now boil water too). Buy milk. Boil it on time lest it curdles. Make curd. Clear the fridge every now and then. Plan how to use some veggies. Plan how to use that little bit of rajma. Wash the husbands whites separately. Wash the utility clothes and dry. The polythenes need sorting. Milk covers and other plastics are washed thoroughly, dried and stored. Wash foot mats. Wash bedsheets and pillow covers. Change them every 10 days. If buckets are too dirty wash them. Recharge DTH. Pay taxes. Pay rent. Pay internet and phone bills (ok, online but I need to remember to pay right?) Pay the milkman, newspaper guy, car cleaner and maid each month. Pay society charges. If you have energy, call friends and family. Meeting is out of question - especially in Blore traffic. Go to the gym. Find time to meditate. Listen to some songs. Read something if you finally become free. Watch a little TV. This is a life.
The pots need watering and the soil needs changing - sometimes we need to deal with insects and plants which refuse to grow (not that I'm complaining. The flowers are a source of joy). The kitchen shelves need cleaning. There are tough oil stains. I've reduced my kitchen utensils to minimum so that I can manage well. I refuse to buy a big fridge though my current one is small. Why? Because if I buy a bigger fridge, I will find new things to stock it up with. And most of it will go waste as we're just 2 people. We don't use some things regularly. I think it's wise to go out and eat a dessert instead of buying expensive ingredients which we cannot finish...Sometimes we want to try our hand and create a nice dish, that's ok.. but it may not be the most cost effective as people say. You will have left over paneer or ricotta or balsamic or Parmesan. You have to either make a dish again or throw it away. It's happened many times. Also, since many of these are imported the costs are very high. The effective cost of the dish you cooked, goes up very high. Restaurants are able to keep costs low due to volume and as they source from vendors are cheaper rates. Anyway, no need to elaborate that point here. That's not the point.
Occasionally you need to meet relatives and friends. We need to socialise. We need to throw parties - that itself drives some people crazy - the house needs to be sparkling.. the dinner ware needs to be arranged, the menu needs to be set. We finalize the menu, get the recipes, the ingredients and plan and start cooking hours or days in advance. Then we throw the party.. we ensure everyone is taken care of.. We lay the tableware beautifully. We ensure the children do not break the glassware. We try to entertain our guests. Then again the cleaning starts. Clean, dry and store it back.
Then, we travel sometimes (or many times in our case). Sometimes its the forests.. sometimes hills.. sometimes Assam..we need to plan, arrange leaves, book tickets, arrange clothes.. pack batteries and camera and lenses.. mosquito repellants.. leech socks.. trekking shoes.. winter clothes...books to read.. water, snacks, anti nausea things.. extra newspapers and polythenes.. we travel..we enjoy.. we come back with bags of soiled clothes. Again, the washing continues.
In between you have things like - buying clothes, finding a tailor, stitching it.. trying.. altering..finally a dress is born. Sometimes we roam in the parks.. sometimes MG Road. We visit Blossom. Many times we attend art programs at Alliance Francaise or Chowdiah or Ranga Shankara or even closer home at TERI. Sometimes we've gone to far away places for art programs. We want to encourage art.
Sometimes things refuse to work. The oven or iron box.. or fridge or geyser. We need to call the repair guy. Follow up and ensure its fixed. Pay him Ofcourse. Sometimes things are beyond repair, so we need to buy a new one. Disposing an old one could be a major heart break. We struggled to get rid of our old sofa.
In between, we go to Hyderabad for our house. We need to ensure the house is clean and things are repaired. Last year we spent 2 weeks, changing the bathroom, fixing new geysers and inverter.. checking all the electric points.. we spent 60K and 2 weeks. We found a tenant.. He stayed only for 3 months despite my request for long stay people. Then for 5 months we found no tenants. I was depressed. I had just lost my baby also and this loss of income was overwhelming. Somehow we never found tenants. It was getting hard. I thought of disposing the house. I started hating that possession. It was becoming more of a headache. I wished I didn't own a house. I was not living there.. someone else was enjoying our house and they were not being thankful. They did not realize what a wonderful house we have given them for that price.. An inverter, A/C, clocks, some chairs, beautiful cup boards, amazing marble floors, beautiful bathroom, nice kitchen, even beautiful curtains. Which owner gives you so much for no extra charge? Why didn't these people realize what they were getting? I, for one, have been thankful for the nice houses I have inhabited. When I see a job well done, I appreciate it. I am thankful. Why can't others be this way? So, I hate tenants now. I feel most of them don't deserve my house (Howard Roark.. Ayn Rand?) Do I need this headache? I don't want a house now. I think let's stay in a rented one though it is money just gone! Maybe we should stay in a decent - reasonable house.. not hi fi.. so that we get the best of both.. nice house and locality without the cost of ownership.. but economical enough for us to pay the rent and not feel bad about that money. I don't want land (though I do want to own a piece and do farming and have a self sustainable home someday).
Few years back, we had a BIG car. We payed a huge loan for it. I was very skeptic but my husband forced me to buy it. When my business tanked, and we lost our jobs, we were unable to pay the loan. My parents helped me dispose the loan and sell the car at 1/2 price. I was disgusted. Soon after I found a good paying job, I wanted to buy back the car. The guy never sold it. He sold it 2 years later at almost the same price as we sold it to him! Holy crap. Why is life such a bitch? Today, when I see that brand car, I don't feel regret. Such big cars clog the road. India is not a place for big cars. Big cars should be banned. Fuel should be priced high for big cars to discourage them. Unless the government takes some step to curb such illogical sales of automobiles - we will choke ourselves to death. Same with high rises. Most of my friends own 2 or 3 houses. There are retirement schemes for them. Since we buy 2 or 3, someone who needs ONE home, pays a huge price. We have inflated the market so much that he cannot buy a house. Because some people earn well.. he pays the price. So what if he is an auto rickshaw walla? Just because we IT folks or whoever it is that has caused these price hikes due to sky high salaries in some sectors, he feels the pinch.
Sometimes I attend some cookery classes or spiritual discourse or yoga. We watch movies. We go to restaurants..I read many things (which I have realized are not really useful. So I am setting filters).
I also write nowadays.
The more things we accumulate, the more high maintanence, the more you have to pay - the more you have to earn, the more you need to earn the more you travel on the road, and the more you have to earn the less time you get, the less time you get the more the things that are pending, the more the things are pending the more we get stressed, the more we get stressed the more we fall sick, the more we fall sick the more the work piles up and the more we pay for medical support and the more time we spend in hospitals, the more the work piles up.. the more the stressed we are..the more the hospital bills.. the more stressed we are... So, we are all stressed.
The more we look at others.. the more we admire their lifestyle.. we want what they have. Unknowingly greed seeps in.
This westernization is not good for us. We're a small country with huge population. We cannot follow their model of having SUVs and larger than life houses. We cannot afford it. We're all driving ourself crazy for something that doesn't matter to us. If we think seriously before any acquisition - be it a dress or a piece of jewellery or house or car.. and think of the repurcussions.. we would do well.
Do we really need it? If we buy it, we will find a thousand ways to use it and then make it a part of life and call it "indispensable". But, let's think before we buy. That's the best time. I used to have this sense with jewellery. I never accumulated any. I will watch what I hoard carefully. Except books and movies, I will buy everything else with care. I should not have anything extra than is absolutely needed. Thoreau's economic way needs to seep into me. A simple life.. uncluttered life.. gives more breathing space.. more time for yourself.. even a simple job, just enough to sustain you.. and give you time to pursue the things you love.. is more fulfilling than the 50 lacs jobs we can aim for.
Another thing to mention is - Why does Rahman sings so much in his musicals? He has a good voice but many times I feel that it's better if some one else had sung it. I kind of remember Sonu complaining that nowadays most music producers sing their own songs so musicians are finding it tough. Even otherwise its difficult in the music industry nowadays. Who sings 25 songs like SPB now? You hardly get 3 songs a year. How to make a living then? If Rahman grabs the songs too, how will the musicians make money? Unknowingly, in our greed to expand, we are eating into other people's spaces. If we restrict our greed, we can all live peacefully. We don't need to eat each other's pies. We could support them.. If Rahman is interested in singing, he can do a few songs.. occasionally. He can nourish and train singers. What if he starts dancing? Everyone will clamour to buy him, whether he is good or not. See Justin Timberlake. I donno, is he good? Does he deserve to be there? Aren't there better singer? How to justify this world? How to make this a fair place and even ground for all? What if I am unlucky? Even if I am talented, I will not reach my peak. Look at tamil actor Shyam or Bharath. They almost never made it. I am praying for them. I am praying that every talented and hardworking person wins. Lets create an atmosphere where all of us can indulge creatively and win.. let us nurture each other. Let's not let our greed eat the other guy's living!
P.S: I almost don't use phones. I don't download apps. I don't use twitter. I don't listen to foreign music. I don't read many books. I am pretty shut out from the things happening in the "world". Yet, that has not changed my ability to think rationally and come to conclusions. So, point is, we don't need all of this. Just because of economy we create things.. get addicted and pay for it and pay with our lives :-)
You could live a twitter free, sweet life even today. You can live without ATMs and netbanking. You could read books without Kindle or iPads. You really don't need iPads and iPhones and big TVs and cars. Our purpose in life is much beyond these nuisances (that's the right word).
We're losing our life to so called nuisances.
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