So, I have made my new year resolutions.. When you have crisp definitions like that - it's easy...
How? Everything that happens.. categorise into which bucket it goes to. Then ruthless root cause analysis...resolve, close the case.
Last week, a couple of things happened...and here's a post mortem.
a) I went to a friend's meet. Somehow I could not feel a free flow of energy. These are people from college, whom I met 2-3 times last year. We can talk, but there's is a restricted energy flow. It's visible to me. When I am not comfortable..I try too hard to be cool.. and nice and polite...and end up worse. If I am what I am... I am quite funny and nice to be around. So, this restricted energy flow was visible all the times... and when we went to the office, my previous bad experience with my ex-company was haunting me and I could feel myself not being free.
b) At the same party I observed that there was a conversation which I was not part of.. and I felt a little odd... I thought "Why invite me if you're not comfortable sharing some things"? Then on the other hand, these 2 people could have met, without calling me. They did call me and I went just because I was invited. So, it means.. they want to invite me but not yet comfortable discussing certain things. Based on a) and b) I have decided to restrict my socializing to people I am very comfortable with. If I am not comfortable, I should not be there.
c) I had made a Valrhona dreamy chocola cake and it was actually fabulous. I was a little hurt that no one appreciated it. One person did ask for the recipe but did not comment on it. When I came home and tried, it was super delicious. Was wondering why no one liked it. Reasons: 1) They were busy talking and did not take keen notice. 2) The taste was too dark or heavy for their liking.
So, either way, I decided not to take offence because we cannot cater to everyone's moods or to everyone's taste buds... I decided to let go.
d) The night before I left for Pondy, we had some sudden visitors. I had planned meticulously and since I do not have a microwave, I cooked the food exactly when the guests were to arrive. I tasted the dishes also.. and they tasted good. But, had no clue what my guest would do. She had planned for some snacks and it took us a good 80 - 90 minutes to assemble and eat that. The snacks were mouth watering.. but it made my dishes go cold. When we got to eat the dinner, I could not eat anything as all the dishes had lost their flavour. I controlled my emotions and upset and we managed to retain a nice atmosphere. There was a lot of work, clearing up and..it was too late. The next day I kept feeling very bad that all my dishes got spoilt due to that timing delay. Without knowing someone had caused a disaster. I usually take great pride in throwing a good party. I like to create good dishes and present them. This time, it was all gone waste. It hurt me...It took me a while to reconcile.. and forget the incident. Somehow with this particular gang, I already have hesitations calling them home for food because..we eat pretty bland food.. and these people eat spicy food and bland food tastes good only when served hot. That plays on me quite a lot... somehow unfortunately my cakes were also not super delicious. a) I made one half size cake and some ingredient got messed up.. and my cake was less than superb. b) I made the chocola with local chocolate and it tasted less than gorgeous.
So, what does one do, when a whole party full of items go bad? It was a pretty depressing situation for me. It made me want to unsocialize immediately. I could not accept that I had a party where none of the items were outstanding. I am used to having good items, so I was not able to accept mediocre. This is exactly the issue with work too.. I probably can't accept that sometimes things will not go as planned and will turn out pretty mediocre despite best efforts. This is probably why Krishna says "Take enjoyment in the process of work. Don't wait for the results". Sometimes the results of your work depend on so many external factors - here - the time of arrival of guests, the kind of ingredients used, the absence of a microwave..etc. Many are not in my hands, so I accept that it was a dull party. I can now write a guide on how to make a dull party interesting. I had already written some guidelines for cooking party food.
Guidelines for parties:
Never cook something new that day. Always use tried and tested recipes.
Accept that some days despite best efforts some things may not taste very impressive.
Never alter a recipe on the day. Don't change quantities.
Never serve bland food cold. It tastes horrible.
Discuss the things being brought and approximate time of arrival of guests and serving time. Some dishes need to be made hot on the fly. So, don't end up at the host's place at staggered times and make it difficult for them. Ensure that the host also gets rest.
For the host, avoid items which need to be created fresh and hot while guests arrive. This will leave you with sufficient time to serve and talk.
If you're a guest, don't showcase your creation, unless its a potluck. The host may feel left out if your creation steals her show. She may have put a lot of effort and you're just spoiling all the effort unknowingly. Unless requested, do not bring potluck kind of dishes to the party.
Even if a dish doesn't turn up well, don't fret over it. Be cool and charm people with the conversation. Never make food as the prime attraction of a house party. Sometimes food can turn this way or that way but a good conversation will always remain forever.
If you're a host, forget then and there if the food was not great. Do not carry memories of it back home. It may affect your relation with the host.
e) Then, there is this person I have been very uncomfortable with. I avoided accepting his FB request for so long. When I finally felt, I was brave enough to take him, I accepted him.
I wrote a post and he passed a comment and one of it was a compliment and one was rude. I was upset. I understood the dynamics again.. I am uncomfortable with the person. So, I try to act cool.. and I don't be myself. I feel that the person hurts my ego and constantly underestimates my abilities and I am always trying to prove myself as fun and intelligent to this person. I understand that. Now, I will no longer do that. I am proud of who I am. I own up to my intelligence. I own up to my goof ups. I own to everything...So, I will deal with this person slowly and peacefully without hurting myself. I also realized that somewhere, due to something, I have built this huge ego or something, which gets hurt with such comments. I don't know if it ego. Maybe I am too sensitive. So, all my teachings have to be practised.
f) Also, another great thing I found is, don't care much for the bodily discomfort. I always have this huge issue of eating too much and feeling flabby when I am on vacation. It disturbs my peace of mind. I am curious to try new things and I also know that I cannot burn off things easily. So, I end up putting on weight. Also, I hate the sun. This time we had to roam around Pondy in pretty hot weather. I consciously decided to not worry abt the body so much. The first day I took 3 showers coz of the heat. The 2nd day I showered only in the morning and I didn't even change my clothes after every outing. Usually I would have changed 3-4 clothes in that time.. So, we should learn to care less about the body. It really frees us..
How? Everything that happens.. categorise into which bucket it goes to. Then ruthless root cause analysis...resolve, close the case.
Last week, a couple of things happened...and here's a post mortem.
a) I went to a friend's meet. Somehow I could not feel a free flow of energy. These are people from college, whom I met 2-3 times last year. We can talk, but there's is a restricted energy flow. It's visible to me. When I am not comfortable..I try too hard to be cool.. and nice and polite...and end up worse. If I am what I am... I am quite funny and nice to be around. So, this restricted energy flow was visible all the times... and when we went to the office, my previous bad experience with my ex-company was haunting me and I could feel myself not being free.
b) At the same party I observed that there was a conversation which I was not part of.. and I felt a little odd... I thought "Why invite me if you're not comfortable sharing some things"? Then on the other hand, these 2 people could have met, without calling me. They did call me and I went just because I was invited. So, it means.. they want to invite me but not yet comfortable discussing certain things. Based on a) and b) I have decided to restrict my socializing to people I am very comfortable with. If I am not comfortable, I should not be there.
c) I had made a Valrhona dreamy chocola cake and it was actually fabulous. I was a little hurt that no one appreciated it. One person did ask for the recipe but did not comment on it. When I came home and tried, it was super delicious. Was wondering why no one liked it. Reasons: 1) They were busy talking and did not take keen notice. 2) The taste was too dark or heavy for their liking.
So, either way, I decided not to take offence because we cannot cater to everyone's moods or to everyone's taste buds... I decided to let go.
d) The night before I left for Pondy, we had some sudden visitors. I had planned meticulously and since I do not have a microwave, I cooked the food exactly when the guests were to arrive. I tasted the dishes also.. and they tasted good. But, had no clue what my guest would do. She had planned for some snacks and it took us a good 80 - 90 minutes to assemble and eat that. The snacks were mouth watering.. but it made my dishes go cold. When we got to eat the dinner, I could not eat anything as all the dishes had lost their flavour. I controlled my emotions and upset and we managed to retain a nice atmosphere. There was a lot of work, clearing up and..it was too late. The next day I kept feeling very bad that all my dishes got spoilt due to that timing delay. Without knowing someone had caused a disaster. I usually take great pride in throwing a good party. I like to create good dishes and present them. This time, it was all gone waste. It hurt me...It took me a while to reconcile.. and forget the incident. Somehow with this particular gang, I already have hesitations calling them home for food because..we eat pretty bland food.. and these people eat spicy food and bland food tastes good only when served hot. That plays on me quite a lot... somehow unfortunately my cakes were also not super delicious. a) I made one half size cake and some ingredient got messed up.. and my cake was less than superb. b) I made the chocola with local chocolate and it tasted less than gorgeous.
So, what does one do, when a whole party full of items go bad? It was a pretty depressing situation for me. It made me want to unsocialize immediately. I could not accept that I had a party where none of the items were outstanding. I am used to having good items, so I was not able to accept mediocre. This is exactly the issue with work too.. I probably can't accept that sometimes things will not go as planned and will turn out pretty mediocre despite best efforts. This is probably why Krishna says "Take enjoyment in the process of work. Don't wait for the results". Sometimes the results of your work depend on so many external factors - here - the time of arrival of guests, the kind of ingredients used, the absence of a microwave..etc. Many are not in my hands, so I accept that it was a dull party. I can now write a guide on how to make a dull party interesting. I had already written some guidelines for cooking party food.
Guidelines for parties:
Never cook something new that day. Always use tried and tested recipes.
Accept that some days despite best efforts some things may not taste very impressive.
Never alter a recipe on the day. Don't change quantities.
Never serve bland food cold. It tastes horrible.
Discuss the things being brought and approximate time of arrival of guests and serving time. Some dishes need to be made hot on the fly. So, don't end up at the host's place at staggered times and make it difficult for them. Ensure that the host also gets rest.
For the host, avoid items which need to be created fresh and hot while guests arrive. This will leave you with sufficient time to serve and talk.
If you're a guest, don't showcase your creation, unless its a potluck. The host may feel left out if your creation steals her show. She may have put a lot of effort and you're just spoiling all the effort unknowingly. Unless requested, do not bring potluck kind of dishes to the party.
Even if a dish doesn't turn up well, don't fret over it. Be cool and charm people with the conversation. Never make food as the prime attraction of a house party. Sometimes food can turn this way or that way but a good conversation will always remain forever.
If you're a host, forget then and there if the food was not great. Do not carry memories of it back home. It may affect your relation with the host.
e) Then, there is this person I have been very uncomfortable with. I avoided accepting his FB request for so long. When I finally felt, I was brave enough to take him, I accepted him.
I wrote a post and he passed a comment and one of it was a compliment and one was rude. I was upset. I understood the dynamics again.. I am uncomfortable with the person. So, I try to act cool.. and I don't be myself. I feel that the person hurts my ego and constantly underestimates my abilities and I am always trying to prove myself as fun and intelligent to this person. I understand that. Now, I will no longer do that. I am proud of who I am. I own up to my intelligence. I own up to my goof ups. I own to everything...So, I will deal with this person slowly and peacefully without hurting myself. I also realized that somewhere, due to something, I have built this huge ego or something, which gets hurt with such comments. I don't know if it ego. Maybe I am too sensitive. So, all my teachings have to be practised.
f) Also, another great thing I found is, don't care much for the bodily discomfort. I always have this huge issue of eating too much and feeling flabby when I am on vacation. It disturbs my peace of mind. I am curious to try new things and I also know that I cannot burn off things easily. So, I end up putting on weight. Also, I hate the sun. This time we had to roam around Pondy in pretty hot weather. I consciously decided to not worry abt the body so much. The first day I took 3 showers coz of the heat. The 2nd day I showered only in the morning and I didn't even change my clothes after every outing. Usually I would have changed 3-4 clothes in that time.. So, we should learn to care less about the body. It really frees us..
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