So many times we don't know what to do. For me, I don't know what is the job I'd love to do and excel at.
Sometimes I feel I should do something about food-travel.
Sometimes I feel like going back to IT. I earn well and it is challenging but there are aspects which I do not like, which is why I quit in the first place. Areas where I am not the best, which leaves me heavily disappointed. I strive to be the best where I am. Slowly I am realizing that it need not be that way. It should not be that way. You just aim to give your best and leave it there.
Sometimes I feel I should get into teaching. I love teaching. I am also a good students counsellor. I love to observe children and how their mind functions, the cute things they do and say. It's the most favourite time pass for me. But, I don't know what I should teach. To teach in a college I need to do masters and a PhD.
To teach in a school I may need a B.Ed. Also right now I can only think of Computer Science, but that would mean older children. Also, with my size I can never imagine wearing a saree. That's a huge put off.
So, more than a year I am fighting this confusion. Will I ever know what my calling is? Will I die without knowing that? Will I be jobless forever because I am confused?
What do you do when you're confused - when there is limited visibility?
You choose one path which feels right at the moment. You walk that path.
It may end up being the wrong path but you can always walk back to the fork.
You accept that this was not the right path and correct and walk the other way. You do not brood over why you took this wrong path or why fate is so bad.. blah blah.. You accept that you made the decision to take this path because you lacked certain visibility. You are always wiser tomorrow than today. If I had the visibility of today and wisdom of today, I would not have done a thousand things that I did yesterday. But, fact is, yesterday I did not have that wisdom and clarity. You tried - you did not feel right, you re-orient yourself. You do this till your internal compass rests in peace in one place.
This is not just true for one's career or education, it's true with relations too. I've had some friends whose behaviour at times was so unpredictable and unacceptable to me. So, I learnt to accept what they are and made sure that I always behaved as good as I could. I did not want to err in retaliation. That would bother me for many years. I will not let anyone's shortcomings or odd behaviour change the goodness in me. That's bad. So, I behave the way I want to but I set the right expectations with that person. That way, I found my peace.
There are bad days. Days when you're thoroughly beaten up. Even the most confident person has these days. You yell at others on those days. You behave unreasonably. What to do? Well, for me, my meditation helped me significantly lower such days. Yet, there is one odd day when I go completely mad. I allow myself that luxury though that is not what I desire. I accept that I am depressed and I may end up being rude. Simply I accept. Once that mood passes away I apologize and make amends. It works almost always. But, if you work hard towards zero depression days, nothing like it. (As an afterthought, this should have been a separate post. It doesn't fit well here).
Like Sadhguru says, once we orient ourselves and become clear about who we are and what our goals are, the way others affect us, significantly reduces. We don't get derailed everytime someone sneers at us. So, it's important for us to truly understand who we are, our shortcoming, our goodness, etc and walk the path with heads held high. Regret and non-acceptance of what has happened - will take you straight to your grave on a super fast highway. Live life without regrets. Accept that you're prone to mistakes. If you slip and fall while receiving your Oscar, do you want to let that ruin the fact that you actually won an Oscar?
Sometimes I feel I should do something about food-travel.
Sometimes I feel like going back to IT. I earn well and it is challenging but there are aspects which I do not like, which is why I quit in the first place. Areas where I am not the best, which leaves me heavily disappointed. I strive to be the best where I am. Slowly I am realizing that it need not be that way. It should not be that way. You just aim to give your best and leave it there.
Sometimes I feel I should get into teaching. I love teaching. I am also a good students counsellor. I love to observe children and how their mind functions, the cute things they do and say. It's the most favourite time pass for me. But, I don't know what I should teach. To teach in a college I need to do masters and a PhD.
To teach in a school I may need a B.Ed. Also right now I can only think of Computer Science, but that would mean older children. Also, with my size I can never imagine wearing a saree. That's a huge put off.
So, more than a year I am fighting this confusion. Will I ever know what my calling is? Will I die without knowing that? Will I be jobless forever because I am confused?
What do you do when you're confused - when there is limited visibility?
You choose one path which feels right at the moment. You walk that path.
It may end up being the wrong path but you can always walk back to the fork.
You accept that this was not the right path and correct and walk the other way. You do not brood over why you took this wrong path or why fate is so bad.. blah blah.. You accept that you made the decision to take this path because you lacked certain visibility. You are always wiser tomorrow than today. If I had the visibility of today and wisdom of today, I would not have done a thousand things that I did yesterday. But, fact is, yesterday I did not have that wisdom and clarity. You tried - you did not feel right, you re-orient yourself. You do this till your internal compass rests in peace in one place.
This is not just true for one's career or education, it's true with relations too. I've had some friends whose behaviour at times was so unpredictable and unacceptable to me. So, I learnt to accept what they are and made sure that I always behaved as good as I could. I did not want to err in retaliation. That would bother me for many years. I will not let anyone's shortcomings or odd behaviour change the goodness in me. That's bad. So, I behave the way I want to but I set the right expectations with that person. That way, I found my peace.
There are bad days. Days when you're thoroughly beaten up. Even the most confident person has these days. You yell at others on those days. You behave unreasonably. What to do? Well, for me, my meditation helped me significantly lower such days. Yet, there is one odd day when I go completely mad. I allow myself that luxury though that is not what I desire. I accept that I am depressed and I may end up being rude. Simply I accept. Once that mood passes away I apologize and make amends. It works almost always. But, if you work hard towards zero depression days, nothing like it. (As an afterthought, this should have been a separate post. It doesn't fit well here).
Like Sadhguru says, once we orient ourselves and become clear about who we are and what our goals are, the way others affect us, significantly reduces. We don't get derailed everytime someone sneers at us. So, it's important for us to truly understand who we are, our shortcoming, our goodness, etc and walk the path with heads held high. Regret and non-acceptance of what has happened - will take you straight to your grave on a super fast highway. Live life without regrets. Accept that you're prone to mistakes. If you slip and fall while receiving your Oscar, do you want to let that ruin the fact that you actually won an Oscar?
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