I wonder, when the black clouds will finally bring in the required showers and a fresh start.
It's been too dark for too long.
So, everyday I need to start on a promising note.
I need to have positive energy, faith and courage.
Every day, the activities we do or don't do - suck energy.
We need to recharge. Sleep is a good way to recharge but it's not sufficient.
We need more. I can increasingly see that the last thought I slept with, is the first thought I wake up with.. Horrible, deadly thoughts. I wonder doesn't it take even a few minutes for the brain to setup its database and bootup process? Looks like - no. I am living proof. In my half asleep state, the same dreams.. same frightening things possess me.
I have no idea what is around me. Something is affecting me left and right. I try to sleep, I am disturbed. I just wake up.. I am disturbed. I really want to ask the Cosmic power "What's the deal boss? What the hell did I do to deserve this kind of unhappiness and emptiness?". Some kind of negative force has taken on me. My house feels negative. I can feel it.
Since nothing is helping, I need to help myself.
So, I have decided to start my meditation again. I joined Ananda Yoga's Level 1 classes yesterday.
This time, since I understand what meditation is about and I am convinced that only meditation can bring in peace of mind, I hope I will stick to it seriously. I should also do my Shambavi if possible.
It's been too dark for too long.
So, everyday I need to start on a promising note.
I need to have positive energy, faith and courage.
Every day, the activities we do or don't do - suck energy.
We need to recharge. Sleep is a good way to recharge but it's not sufficient.
We need more. I can increasingly see that the last thought I slept with, is the first thought I wake up with.. Horrible, deadly thoughts. I wonder doesn't it take even a few minutes for the brain to setup its database and bootup process? Looks like - no. I am living proof. In my half asleep state, the same dreams.. same frightening things possess me.
I have no idea what is around me. Something is affecting me left and right. I try to sleep, I am disturbed. I just wake up.. I am disturbed. I really want to ask the Cosmic power "What's the deal boss? What the hell did I do to deserve this kind of unhappiness and emptiness?". Some kind of negative force has taken on me. My house feels negative. I can feel it.
Since nothing is helping, I need to help myself.
So, I have decided to start my meditation again. I joined Ananda Yoga's Level 1 classes yesterday.
This time, since I understand what meditation is about and I am convinced that only meditation can bring in peace of mind, I hope I will stick to it seriously. I should also do my Shambavi if possible.
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