We all have this compelling need to analyse things and make a point and prove that we're right.
So, everything needs to be categorised as right or wrong, good or bad.
If we let go of this, how peaceful life can be!
So, let's start with people.
We interact with people, we observe them, we form opinions, we collect data about them.
This data is applied on any future event on that person. I don't know when the opinions turn into judgements.
So, if our analysis as per data is right, we know we analysed them right.
Else, if they behaved quite differently, we again analyse why they behaved differently and whether they have really changed or it's just the situation or some temporary craze.
Someone said, our opinion about people is static. It's based on old stale data. By the time you have your analysis, the person has moved on. They are no longer the same person.
So, why do we spend tons of time analyzing people and events?
a) We don't know what else to do. We don't know how to best utilize our time.
b) Our biggest common denominator when we're in a gang, is speaking ill of others (and rarely speaking well of others). Somehow this seems to bond people.
c) Most important of all, I think, is trust. We evaluate people to see if they are trustworthy. Are they worthy of love, money, compassion and time? Will we ever feel cheated? Can we do business with them? Do they make us happy? Can we be good friends with them? Are they the kind of people I'd go on a vacation with? We're constantly evaluating people for these things. It's basically a safety net, a comfort. Probably animals have some instinct. They see another animal and probably instinctively know if they are an enemy or friend. Maybe our reptilian instinct gets overlapped with our social evolution and created this whole convoluted theory of evaluating people. Basic idea is are they friends or enemies? Otherwise why on earth would we have so many analysis of our own friends?
Everything is just a protection... a way to protect ourselves.
I have myself realized that when I am in a gang, my ideals go for a toss sometimes. We are the average of the gang we're with. When people gossip, we also tend to pitch in, for whatever reason. It becomes difficult to stop oneself. So, it's very difficult when we're a group.
It requires extreme self discipline to be your highest self when you're in a group. One needs to be extremely conscious and aware at all times to notice how your mind is working and whether you're falling into that judgement trap or if anyone else is making you judgemental.
It's hard work. More so because it's our own friends and families who makes us judgemental unknowingly, through sharing unwanted pieces of information or sharing negativity or sharing their biased opinions about some events. It's tough. But if someone survives past this, they're on the way to glory.
So, everything needs to be categorised as right or wrong, good or bad.
If we let go of this, how peaceful life can be!
So, let's start with people.
We interact with people, we observe them, we form opinions, we collect data about them.
This data is applied on any future event on that person. I don't know when the opinions turn into judgements.
So, if our analysis as per data is right, we know we analysed them right.
Else, if they behaved quite differently, we again analyse why they behaved differently and whether they have really changed or it's just the situation or some temporary craze.
Someone said, our opinion about people is static. It's based on old stale data. By the time you have your analysis, the person has moved on. They are no longer the same person.
So, why do we spend tons of time analyzing people and events?
a) We don't know what else to do. We don't know how to best utilize our time.
b) Our biggest common denominator when we're in a gang, is speaking ill of others (and rarely speaking well of others). Somehow this seems to bond people.
c) Most important of all, I think, is trust. We evaluate people to see if they are trustworthy. Are they worthy of love, money, compassion and time? Will we ever feel cheated? Can we do business with them? Do they make us happy? Can we be good friends with them? Are they the kind of people I'd go on a vacation with? We're constantly evaluating people for these things. It's basically a safety net, a comfort. Probably animals have some instinct. They see another animal and probably instinctively know if they are an enemy or friend. Maybe our reptilian instinct gets overlapped with our social evolution and created this whole convoluted theory of evaluating people. Basic idea is are they friends or enemies? Otherwise why on earth would we have so many analysis of our own friends?
Everything is just a protection... a way to protect ourselves.
I have myself realized that when I am in a gang, my ideals go for a toss sometimes. We are the average of the gang we're with. When people gossip, we also tend to pitch in, for whatever reason. It becomes difficult to stop oneself. So, it's very difficult when we're a group.
It requires extreme self discipline to be your highest self when you're in a group. One needs to be extremely conscious and aware at all times to notice how your mind is working and whether you're falling into that judgement trap or if anyone else is making you judgemental.
It's hard work. More so because it's our own friends and families who makes us judgemental unknowingly, through sharing unwanted pieces of information or sharing negativity or sharing their biased opinions about some events. It's tough. But if someone survives past this, they're on the way to glory.
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