I think for most people this will rank as the most heart breaking experience. It's one of the hardest things to do. You end up being sad, miserable and you wish days pass by fast to reduce the agony.
So, while I don't know why we need to break some relations, it seems to be the best thing to do. Just like a bottle of medicine that causes much harm when you use it beyond the expiry, a sour relation can wreak havoc, unless both parties try hard to patch up. Most of the times when one person alone tries it does not work. It's ok to have broken relations. We all evolve everyday. We are not the same person as we were 10 years ago. Our thoughts, priorities, expectations - everything changes. When we find that there is a huge gap between us and the person involved, which cannot be filled and its hurting us to continue the relation, you better break it. After a while maybe we may change again and converge once more but for now, breaking apart is the best solution.
I've had some relations spoilt for no reason. My friend suddenly stopped even saying the customary 'Hi, how are you?'. I was at his party and somehow this lack of sensitivity in the person hurt me. At some point we had some small issues because of his spouse but the funny thing is, spouse talks normally when we meet. It's just this guy who behaved odd. I don't know if he's become this way with everyone. Anyway, so I decide not to go to any of his parties (anyway we stopped visiting his place). I expect good behaviour from people and most often I am let down. I had another relation which recently became cold and got reduced to "Hi"s and "Bye"s. The total insensitivity and uncaring nature of the person hurt me a lot.
I have understood that I hate people who do not care for others. I don't say you care for everyone on the street, but a few relations, one needs to maintain. I am so engrossed in relations and the happiness it brings that I can never imagine someone who does not value them. I have some in my family who display no interest in others, what they do and how they are. I have come to terms with that. I also don't go overboard with such people. That gives me satisfaction. We need to tune ourselves to others sometimes. Else, we may get hurt. If you're always caring and the other person never cares - atleast when they ought to - it hurts. There's a saying that give because you feel like giving, not because the other is wanting. The same is true for relations but it's hard to achieve. Some minimal expectation is there. You want your best friend to call up when you're sick or hospitalised. You probably don't expect them to be at the hospital or pay your bills, but you expect them to keep track of your wellbeing. It costs no money. Does it? I was not brought up this way. I made myself this way. Since I value relations I have become this kind of person and I know that for many relations don't mean much.
Why don't we all pay some attention to the way we behave? I'm not saying be a superficial person, but have some level of manners. When you're in a meeting or get together, it helps to follow some etiquettes so that we do not hurt people with different cultural upbringing or different sensibilities than us. You can always say 'I don't care' but that's not the right thing.
On the road and everywhere our actions affect others. Yes, as a staunch follower of yoga I should know to insulate myself from such behaviour but I have not reached there yet. Right now, I am a human who gets affected when people behave bad (bad = not acceptable as per my beliefs). Everytime I drive out - I feel angry and bitter. We just don't care about others on the road. Given the traffic conditions in most cities I don't know how it will be in the next 20-30 years! It will be hell! I think a better option is to move out of Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities or more away from the country altogether. I am now reminded of Kamal. (I digress)When Kamal finds a secular and peaceful place to live, I want to move out with him. I don't think I can stand this kind of society for long.
It's been 62 years since our independence and where have we grown? All I can see is high rise building, posh cars and malls. Is this how a nation grows? When we look back and see the spiritual power of this country, the amazing things that our ancestors did.. I feel proud. That spirituality is rigged up to create N number of businesses today but if we follow the essence of the teachings, we may become a GREAT NATION.. not just a developed country.
So, while I don't know why we need to break some relations, it seems to be the best thing to do. Just like a bottle of medicine that causes much harm when you use it beyond the expiry, a sour relation can wreak havoc, unless both parties try hard to patch up. Most of the times when one person alone tries it does not work. It's ok to have broken relations. We all evolve everyday. We are not the same person as we were 10 years ago. Our thoughts, priorities, expectations - everything changes. When we find that there is a huge gap between us and the person involved, which cannot be filled and its hurting us to continue the relation, you better break it. After a while maybe we may change again and converge once more but for now, breaking apart is the best solution.
I've had some relations spoilt for no reason. My friend suddenly stopped even saying the customary 'Hi, how are you?'. I was at his party and somehow this lack of sensitivity in the person hurt me. At some point we had some small issues because of his spouse but the funny thing is, spouse talks normally when we meet. It's just this guy who behaved odd. I don't know if he's become this way with everyone. Anyway, so I decide not to go to any of his parties (anyway we stopped visiting his place). I expect good behaviour from people and most often I am let down. I had another relation which recently became cold and got reduced to "Hi"s and "Bye"s. The total insensitivity and uncaring nature of the person hurt me a lot.
I have understood that I hate people who do not care for others. I don't say you care for everyone on the street, but a few relations, one needs to maintain. I am so engrossed in relations and the happiness it brings that I can never imagine someone who does not value them. I have some in my family who display no interest in others, what they do and how they are. I have come to terms with that. I also don't go overboard with such people. That gives me satisfaction. We need to tune ourselves to others sometimes. Else, we may get hurt. If you're always caring and the other person never cares - atleast when they ought to - it hurts. There's a saying that give because you feel like giving, not because the other is wanting. The same is true for relations but it's hard to achieve. Some minimal expectation is there. You want your best friend to call up when you're sick or hospitalised. You probably don't expect them to be at the hospital or pay your bills, but you expect them to keep track of your wellbeing. It costs no money. Does it? I was not brought up this way. I made myself this way. Since I value relations I have become this kind of person and I know that for many relations don't mean much.
Why don't we all pay some attention to the way we behave? I'm not saying be a superficial person, but have some level of manners. When you're in a meeting or get together, it helps to follow some etiquettes so that we do not hurt people with different cultural upbringing or different sensibilities than us. You can always say 'I don't care' but that's not the right thing.
On the road and everywhere our actions affect others. Yes, as a staunch follower of yoga I should know to insulate myself from such behaviour but I have not reached there yet. Right now, I am a human who gets affected when people behave bad (bad = not acceptable as per my beliefs). Everytime I drive out - I feel angry and bitter. We just don't care about others on the road. Given the traffic conditions in most cities I don't know how it will be in the next 20-30 years! It will be hell! I think a better option is to move out of Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities or more away from the country altogether. I am now reminded of Kamal. (I digress)When Kamal finds a secular and peaceful place to live, I want to move out with him. I don't think I can stand this kind of society for long.
It's been 62 years since our independence and where have we grown? All I can see is high rise building, posh cars and malls. Is this how a nation grows? When we look back and see the spiritual power of this country, the amazing things that our ancestors did.. I feel proud. That spirituality is rigged up to create N number of businesses today but if we follow the essence of the teachings, we may become a GREAT NATION.. not just a developed country.
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