Yday was one of those days when a strong wave of worry hit me and I could sense what "worry" does to you. My body was totally decapacitated. I am sure was mind was blank too.
The worry took a course of its own and I did become calm after a while when I realized that "action" and not "worry" helps.
I then wound back the clock and recollected some times...When I saw an ad for Amity yday, I began to think of my college days. I walked into college with 0 expectations. I had no idea about the subject I was studying. I was mortified of geeks and computers. I hardly studied. There were very few classes I remembered attending. Data structures, File systems and some English and Management related classes. As expected I fared well in the latter 2. I passed out not knowing a thing about computer science. I even landed up in a job, which was bad. I then joined and then landed up even in a dream comp.. and I still had no clue abt software. I immediately went to US and it was a nightmare.
I joined the Bangalore team and the team was such a nightmare. Then I joined Mars.. it was good there because I could match up the level of work and I did some really good work there.
Then I went on to Matisse, which was a totally new domain but with a lot of hard work and a little stress, I did well. Then came Brocade.. I did work very hard but the team turned into a nightmare.
Going back I realized a few things.
1) I have worked in fear and anxiety for most part of my life. It's the most unproductive form of working. It decapacitates you and drains you so badly. I used to be so drained every day.
2) The feeling of inadequacy. I always wanted to be the best, but there are better people than you, always. For me, it was very difficult to match up to them. Either you accept who you are or maturely strive towards competition. This constant fear of failure attracts more failure.
3) Fear of learning new things. Take out that 10 mins or 30 mins to learn the new tool.
4) Unwanted analysis of what others think of you. Don't give a damn about it. Just do your job.
5) Not standing up for my beliefs and myself.
6) Not showcasing my extra work.
7) Giving others more credit and not giving onseself enough credit. We tend to focus so much on others positives and our negatives. That's an unequal playing field.
8) Your work is no longer what it was 1000s of years ago. Your livelihood is not based on your passion and talents anymore. Accept that.
9) Let go of ego. Accept mistakes but don't cry over them.
10) Seek help shamelessly.
11) Never procrastinate. This one quality in itself can help get work done, in the first place. The rest of your energy use it to get the work "well" done.
12) Stay in one place long enough to learn more. People who stay in the same group for 6 or more years get a natural upper hand. Go for that.
13) Use your energy wisely. Energy management, more than time management, leads to success.
14) Address issues immediately. Whether it's people issues or your own emotional issues. Never let it drag.
15) Recite this mantra: I am happy, successful, talented, adequate and I have abundance. This universe works
Lastly, have a long term goal and a short term goal. Evaluate constantly on short term goals. So many times we do a lot of work that goes unacknowledged. Because it's not part of the goal setting, it makes us feel like we did less. Set your own goals and when you meet them, reward yourself. Else, after 5 years you can sit and think, what progress have I made? You will have nothing to look back to if you did not set goals and track them.
Also, long term goals help you grow. Chart a path which you want to take. Else you could get lost and stay stagnated. You end up making wrong career choices which do not align with the master plan. Any deviation or dispersion of energy eventually leads to a sense of failure. Watch that..
The worry took a course of its own and I did become calm after a while when I realized that "action" and not "worry" helps.
I then wound back the clock and recollected some times...When I saw an ad for Amity yday, I began to think of my college days. I walked into college with 0 expectations. I had no idea about the subject I was studying. I was mortified of geeks and computers. I hardly studied. There were very few classes I remembered attending. Data structures, File systems and some English and Management related classes. As expected I fared well in the latter 2. I passed out not knowing a thing about computer science. I even landed up in a job, which was bad. I then joined and then landed up even in a dream comp.. and I still had no clue abt software. I immediately went to US and it was a nightmare.
I joined the Bangalore team and the team was such a nightmare. Then I joined Mars.. it was good there because I could match up the level of work and I did some really good work there.
Then I went on to Matisse, which was a totally new domain but with a lot of hard work and a little stress, I did well. Then came Brocade.. I did work very hard but the team turned into a nightmare.
Going back I realized a few things.
1) I have worked in fear and anxiety for most part of my life. It's the most unproductive form of working. It decapacitates you and drains you so badly. I used to be so drained every day.
2) The feeling of inadequacy. I always wanted to be the best, but there are better people than you, always. For me, it was very difficult to match up to them. Either you accept who you are or maturely strive towards competition. This constant fear of failure attracts more failure.
3) Fear of learning new things. Take out that 10 mins or 30 mins to learn the new tool.
4) Unwanted analysis of what others think of you. Don't give a damn about it. Just do your job.
5) Not standing up for my beliefs and myself.
6) Not showcasing my extra work.
7) Giving others more credit and not giving onseself enough credit. We tend to focus so much on others positives and our negatives. That's an unequal playing field.
8) Your work is no longer what it was 1000s of years ago. Your livelihood is not based on your passion and talents anymore. Accept that.
9) Let go of ego. Accept mistakes but don't cry over them.
10) Seek help shamelessly.
11) Never procrastinate. This one quality in itself can help get work done, in the first place. The rest of your energy use it to get the work "well" done.
12) Stay in one place long enough to learn more. People who stay in the same group for 6 or more years get a natural upper hand. Go for that.
13) Use your energy wisely. Energy management, more than time management, leads to success.
14) Address issues immediately. Whether it's people issues or your own emotional issues. Never let it drag.
15) Recite this mantra: I am happy, successful, talented, adequate and I have abundance. This universe works
Lastly, have a long term goal and a short term goal. Evaluate constantly on short term goals. So many times we do a lot of work that goes unacknowledged. Because it's not part of the goal setting, it makes us feel like we did less. Set your own goals and when you meet them, reward yourself. Else, after 5 years you can sit and think, what progress have I made? You will have nothing to look back to if you did not set goals and track them.
Also, long term goals help you grow. Chart a path which you want to take. Else you could get lost and stay stagnated. You end up making wrong career choices which do not align with the master plan. Any deviation or dispersion of energy eventually leads to a sense of failure. Watch that..
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